NGE Theatre
by WDCain Man
Summary: A series of stories where Shinji is raised by characters from different anime, comics, movies, and video games.
1. Twisted Genesis

_**Disclaimer:**_ Neon Genesis Evangelion is copyright by A.D. Vision and was created by Studio Gainax animation. All their characters are used without permission. Those characters aren't mine. But Cookie and Creme are, SO HANDS OFF! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HAH!

Anyway, on to the story! ^_^

**XXXXXXX**

The scenery is a dark room, so dark that only a few faint outlines of shapes can be seen. Than the lights came on and reveil the stage for old television show, 'Master Piece Theater.' The scenery has the typical fireplace, beautiful furnishings and two very expensive chairs. In one red velvet chair, a short, scruffy looking, redhead teenager was wearing formal clothing consisting of a similar red velvet coat, dark slacks, and a deep brown dress shirt was holding a book upside down. The only thing that contradicted the outfit was a red bandana worn on his forehead. Instead of using a pipe to smoke with, the redhead was inhaling on a joint.

"*HACK HACK* Gaa... Good stuff man..." he grinned sheepishly. "Welcome to the first chapter of 'NGE Theater'. I am your host, Creme, and this my co-host, Cookie." He pointed to the person in the chair next to him.

"Dude, this just ain't us man," said a rather tall man with tangled brown hair wearing a similar suit but minus the bandana and the joint siting next to Creme. He snapped his thumb and the scenery changed from the 'Masterpiece Theater' setting to a less formal one. Cookie and Creme are now sitting in two green 'LazyBoy' recliners with their feet propped up and staring straight at a big screen tv. It bared a strong resemblance to Joey and Chandler's old front-room from 'Friends.' Their clothing also changed from the stylish threads to their typical street cloths. Cookie was wearing his beat up brown trenchcoat and leather boots while Creme was back in his generation x punk outfit which composed of his 'Golden Girls' shirt and light pair of blue jeans.

"HEY!" Creme looked outraged by the changes.

Cookie sighed. "C'mon man, that just wasn't us."

Creme huffed and pouted. "You have no taste for the classics."

"And you have no taste period!" Cookie zinged Creme. He reached into his trenchcoat and pulled out a scotch bottle and chugged and grinned. He smiled and spoke to everyone. "My name's Cookie and this is my pal Creme, characters from the Sorcerer Hunter story 'Green With Evil' the very first ever Carrot-as-a-badguy-fanfic! We're here to show you numerous worlds where da' man himself, Shinji Ikari, is raised by different people. In some worlds, he'll become a kind person while in others, he'll be a little weird. Some stories will be funny while others are dark. But that's the point of this stuff: To entertain you. So tell me Creme, who's the first guy on our list?"

Creme sighed and pulled out a DVD and read the back. His sour disposition instantly brightened up. "FREAKIN' AWESOME! This isn't going to be so bad after all!"

Cookie smiled. "So Shinji was raised by a cool guy, huh?"

"THE COOLEST!" Creme handed Cookie the DVD.

Cookie looked it over and read the description about the man who would raise Shinji. His jaw dropped. "Oh my dear Lord!"

"Yeah, cool ain't he?" Creme looked rather chipper.

"HE'S OUT OF HIS FREAKIN' MIND!"

"But he is a better father than Gendo, right?" Creme smiled and wagged his finger.

Cookie looked uncertain. "I don't know about that..."

"C'mon Cookie, it'll be awesome." Creme than took the DVD back and plugged the disk into the player and hit play.

**XXXXXXX  
**_**NGE Theater**_

_**Today's Story:**_

_**Twisted Genesis**_

**XXXXXXX**

The Year 2015 AD...

"Damn! Why did I have to lose him at a time like this?" muttered the beautiful Misato Katsuragi while she drove though the evacuated streets of Tokyo 3. She frowned as she looked at the photo on top of the folder in the seat next to her. The name Shinji Ikari was written on the bottom and a rather cheerful looking boy in a bright red muscle-shirt along with a pair of light-blue baggy pants was shown staring at the camera with a very cheerful expression while sucking on a ice cream cone. She smiled at the photo, he looked like a wonderful kid. One thing was for sure though: He didn't take his cheerful attitude from his father.

She looked all around for any sign of the Third Child. "Lord Almighty, just where is this kid?" she asked to no one in particular.

**XXXXXXX**

"We're sorry, all lines have been disconnected."

Shinji stared at the phone with a dead look in his eyes. He glanced at a clock on a building wall. 12:50 pm.

Misato was late and if there was one thing Shinji hated was being kept waiting.

Reaching into his dufflebad, he pulled out a photo of a beautiful purple-haired woman who was bending over suggestively, showing off her body with an arrow pointing at her cleavage saying 'Get a load of this!' He raised an eyebrow... and ripped her picture in half before throwing it on the ground.

Next, he pulled out the letter that he had received not too long ago. It was address from his father and he had only written one word: COME. But below it, was two words written in bright red ink. 'HA HA'

Shinji grinned at the letter before stuffing it back into his bag. While his hand was still down into the dufflebad, he pulled out... a fudgesicle!

He was halfway through it when the Angel showed up.

The Angel was one of the most ugly things that Shinji had ever seen. With its hunchback shape, black body, long and slender limbs, and its bent beak made the Third Angel into something that nightmares were made of as it tore through the evacuated skyscrapers and empty streets. Portions of the building tops were flung across the city, smashing into the sidewalk and shorter buildings. Windows shattered, sending broken shards of glass around, imbedding into the ground. Truly, Hell had arrived in Tokyo 3.

Shinji raised an eyebrow, looked at the Angel carefully, and resumed licking his fudgesicle.

A car flew in from out of no where and Misato threw the door open. "HURRY! GET IN!" Shinji bent over and looked at Misato carefully while the Angel tore the city to shreads. Misato started freaking. "GET IN THE DAMN CAR!" The Angel was getting closer.

Shinji took the fudgesicle out of his mouth. "You're late," and put it back in. The Angel spotted them and was coming over.

Misato blinked in disbelief. "WILL YOU GET IN?!" The Angel was now only a block away.

Shinji shrugged his shoulders and climbed in so Misato pushed the pedals down and drove like hell just as the Third Angel stepped on the spot where they were only seconds ago.

**XXXXXXX**

"What the Hell is wrong with you?!" snapped Misato.

Shinji said nothing while he munched on his ice cream.

Misato sighed. She wasn't going to get anywhere with this kid. She took a closer look at him. For only being a boy of 14 years, he looked remarkablely in shape. He was extremely muscular, almost as built as a weightlifter but still maintaining his small size. A tight pair of blue elastic pants stretched around his legs which mirrored the firmness that the black muscle-shirt that was worn on his built chest. The pair of black army boots he wore also matched the thick black leather motorcyclist gloves that covered his hands to halfway up to his elbows. His black leather dufflebag, which was so large that it may as well have been an army soldier's bag, was between his legs.

Misato looked at his face with a detailed glare. His midnight-black hair was more spiky than shaggy, all hair strains nearly sticking straight up at different lengths. With the wind blowing through his open window, his hair resembled black flame that would twist and turn in the breeze. But the man-child's complexion was quite different than the dark clothes he wore. His skin was incredibly pale, Misato could have sworn that Shinji was an albino like Rei Ayanami except something wasn't right. On closer inspection, the young Katsuragi saw that his pale white skin seemed more and more unnatural with each passing second.

Than finally she got it. "Are you wearing makeup?"

Shinji nodded, still snacking on his ice cream.

Misato blinked. A 14 year old boy wearing pancake makeup? It appeared that the 'old college pal' that Commander Ikari left Shinji in care of was a rather strange man. But it was not her place to judge him. She put up a false front. "Sorry about that before," she apologized cheerfully. "I'm Misato Katsuragi; your father sent me here to pick you up."

Shinji, having finished his fudgesicle, threw the ice cream stick out the window.

"Hey! That's littering!" Misato yelled. "If a cop saw you-"

"Just shut up and drive bitch," he spoke coldly.

Misato growled. The commander ordered her to bring Shinji there in one piece, so shooting him wouldn't be a good thing. "Pleased to meet you Shinji." Her mouth ached giving the false smile. She extended her hand for a handshake while keeping the other hand on the driving wheel.

Shinji looked at the outstretched hand and stopped smiling. He spoke in a cold, quiet, voice. "Popsicle?" He held up an orange flavored ice cream bar from out of his bag.

Misato looked rather uneasy. The way he asked that question was pretty disturbing. "Uhm... no thanks, Shinji." She tried to look cheerful but was having difficulties faking it. "Say, you sure like ice cream, don't you?" She laughed nervously. "Where did you pick that up from anyway? Your father has _way_ too of a sour disposition to care about sweets!"

Shinji still looked at her coldly. "I got it from my... teacher." He started smiling but still continued speaking in a quiet, gravally voice. "He always had a bit of a... Sweet Tooth. Heh heh hee..."

**XXXXXXX**

Cookie: What if Twisted Metal's Sweet Tooth raised Shinji?

Creme: Two words man: BE AFRAID!

**XXXXXXX**

Misato tried to start another conversation with Shinji. "So, uhm... Commander Ikari sent you to be raised by an ice cream truck driver named Charles Needles Kane, right? So how did you like being raised by him?" Misato asked but for some reason that name seemed oddly familiar.

Shinji remembered all the people he killed under Sweet Tooth's tutelage. "It was nice."

"Okay," she said. Seeing some more of the armed forces trying to engage the Angel out of the corner of her eye, she stopped both driving and the conversation. "Something is up," grumbled Misato as she reached for a pair of binoculars that Shinji was currently playing with. She was going to simply grab them and yank Shinji over, but he gave her a rather frightening glare that caused her to meekly pick them up. Misato's lip curled as she continued to peer through the lenses to the action taking place. She saw several aircraft pull away suddenly. "Oh no! They're gonna use an N2 mine!"

Shinji's dark disposition brightened. "Really? I haven't seen an N2 explosion since London last year," he said nostalgicly. He remembered when Minion tried to use one to kill off everyone in the tournament the previous year. Images of Londen burning from the explosion flashed through his mind. Thousands of people running the streets on fire, praying to God that they would die.

Good times. Shinji smiled.

Misato blinked. There was a report of a missing N2 mine that was stolen and used in Europe a year ago. So how did Shinji know that? She was about to ask when the mine detonated.

*BOOOOM*

There was a bright flash of light far into the distance and for a moment, nothing happened. Than the shockwave hit. "WAAAAaaaaa!" Misato's car was thrown across the street. It stopped on its side and the duo stepped out to take in the damage once the shockwave had ended. The young Katsuragi looked ready to have a crying fit while looking over her vehicle. "My car..." *sniffle sniffle*

She saw Shinji walking away with his giant dufflebag swung over one shoulder. "Hey! Just where are you going?" she demanded.

"To get MY car," Shinji said simply.

Misato blinked. "Your car? You're only 14! You can't have a car!"

Shinji laughed. "Sweet Tooth gave me his before he bought it in the last tournament."

"Who did what when?"

Shinji rolled his eyes. "Never mind bitch. Never mind." He walked off.

And for a long time, Misato Katsuragi just stood there, torn between duty and shock. Part of her wanted to go after the kid and drag him back while the smart part wanted to stay there, fix the car, and report to Gendo that the kid died when the N2 mine went off. But while she just stood there wondering what to do, Shinji finally got out of her sight and she had no idea where he went to. So she did the only thing she could do without any help: She stole another car. But she accidentally drove over some glass from a broken window and now had four flat tires.

While she was crying about ruining another car and charges of grand theft auto, her ears picked up something. It sounded like... music? She looked down the street and saw something rather strange. Shinji was driving a large white ice cream truck/van that was over sixteen feet long and eight feet high with a somewhat odd clown-face attached to his roof. The clown face emblem looked less like a jolly circus clown and more... disturbing. The face was twisted into a cruel, even psychotic, smile that stretched from ear-to-ear with a streak of metal red flame circling the top. On the side of the van was the words 'Tasty Treats' written in bright blood-red letters with dozens of pictures of ice cream bars and snow-cones lining the sides. But what was most disturbing was the music. He was playing the ice cream-man jingle while the Third Angel was wrecking Tokyo 3?

Shinji was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses and held out his hand. "Come with me if you want to live. Heh heh heh."

"Uhm... oky doky." Misato nodded and got in. Once inside, she looked around the interior. Naturally, there was a huge freezer in the back where the ice cream would be stored. But some of the other items were a tad... strange. A gun-rack with over three dozen of the most lethal hand-held weapons ever designed? A case of hand grenades? A set of land mines? And so much machinery compacted in the back that could overstuff a tank?

Shinji was really beginning to frighten Misato.

"Uh, Shinji? We should hurry back to base. With the Angel already on his way, it might be a good idea to let me dri-"

"Finish that sentence and die, woman." Shinji was not joking.

"B-b-but the Angel is nearly there and with its momentum, you won't be able to outrun it! NERV HQ is over thirty miles away, we won't be able to reach it in time!"

Shinji smiled. "Wanna bet?"

**XXXXXXX**

Ten minutes later...

"No more please! For the love of God! NO MORE!" Misato's eyes were wild as Shinji drove into the NERV building.

Shinji scoffed. "Oh please, you said we had to get here in a hurry and we did. And I don't know why you're so upset. I got us here WAY before the Angel did. All I had to do was take a few shortcuts. I'm shocked that would freak you out so bad considering how you drive."

"You drove though a building! By all that is holy, you drove through a building! And who the HELL has a rocket launcher attached to their roof? YOU BLEW UP A WALL AND DROVE THOUGH A BUILDING! I COULD HAVE DIED! I COULD HAVE DIED! I COULD HAVE DIED!" Misato had a nice nervous breakdown.

Shinji rolled his eyes. "There's just no pleasing some people." He pulled out a plastic ID card and used it to enter the fortress.

**XXXXXXX**

Misato was shaking pretty badly as she looked behind her and saw Shinji loosing his patience. It had been over ten minutes since they started walking around the maze like corridors of NERV and it was only a minute ago when he said that if Misato didn't get him there, he was going to tear out her spine and impale her with it. "We'llbethereinaminute! Okayokay? I'mnotlost! I'mnotlost! Pleasedon'tkillme!" She wailed.

"You've got five minutes to get us there before I show you just how nasty I can be."

A door opened up and the sultry Dr. Ritsuko Akagi walked through. "Are you lost again Captain?" The blond doctor scowled at Misato.

Misato jumped into Ritsuko's arms and actually kissed her. "Thank God! Oh Rits, keep him away from me!"

"A lesbian, I KNEW IT!" Shinji clapped while looking rather proud of his deduction abilities.

Ritsuko blushed. "W-w-wait a minutes! I'm n-I'm not a-"

"Cut the stuttering blondy and take us to the hanger!" he ordered.

Ritsuko glared at the pseudo albino. "Now just a minute you! I'll-"

"Oh dear god, please don't kill her Shinji!" wailed Misato. Dr. Akagi glanced at her friend who looked ready to have a heart attack.

Ritsuko blinked for seeing her friend so scared. Next she looked at the Third Child. Short, muscular, tight muscle clothes, wearing clown makeup and sucking on a popsicle? Weird guy. She snickered. What was he? A pansy? She smirked when she thought how Gendo would put the little thug in his place. Her ears twitched. For a second, she could have sworn she heard two kids laughing at her somewhere.

"The Angel is nearby. Follow me!" She gestured irritably. Soon the trio were on their way, passing through the tunnels of NERV. A moment later, the trio were riding an elevator that passed by a gigantic glass wall that towered in the air above them. The glass wall appeared to be some sort of tank that was holding in what appeared to be a sea of some sort of semi translucent liquid.

Shinji didn't really care. The blond bitch was yacking about the probability of activating something while he was snacking on a strawberry snowcone. He finished it and tossed the wooden stick over the rails of the elevator. It whacked into some worker down below in the head and the fellow was going spastic. Shinji snickered momentary and reached into his pocket to grab another sweet, having left his dufflebag in his 'Tasty Treats' ice cream truck.

Shinji was about to start sucking on it when he came face-to-face with... A giant face! Shinji raised an eyebrow. "Even bigger than the one on my wheels," he compared the Eva's face with his vehicle's transformed one before returning his attention to his ice cream.

Ritsuko decided to ignore the comment and give her explanation. "This is humanity's last hope, the synthetic life form known as Evangelion."

Shinji stopped sucking, his black leather gloved hand holding the ice cream. "So this is what Gendy's been working on?"

"CORRECT!" came a voice from above though it was spoken a bit louder than usually. Gendo Ikari did not approve of his son calling him 'Gendy'.

Shinji looked upwards. "I'm real disappointed pops. Here you are, in charge of protecting the world, and all you've been doing is playing with giant dolls. Rather pathetic life you've spending the last ten years dad." Shinji snickered and for the briefest of moments, Gendo blushed.

His blush faded and he resumed his normal cold attitude. "It's been a while."

Shinji lost all his humor and glared. "You've had plenty of barrowed time, pops. I hoped you used it well." Everyone in the hanger heard the Third Child and stopped dead. Misato had no doubt that the commander's son was planning something wicked for his father.

The base rocked from an explosion. "It's coming," he said quietly. "We're moving out."

"What?" gasped Misato. "Unit Zero is still in cryostasis! Waitaminute! You're gonna use Unit One?" The purple haired lass seemed to realize this all at once.

"Their's no other choice Captain," said Ritsuko.

"No wait! Rei can't do it yet can she? We don't have a pilot!" yelled Misato. She was hoping to god that her suspicions for Shinji being there were wrong.

"We just received one," replied Ritsuko.

Misato nearly peed in her pants at the thought of Shinji piloting the most powerful weapon in the world. "...we're all gonna die..." she whispered.

Ritsuko ignored her quietness and turned to the muscle-bound man-child. "Shinji Ikari, you will pilot it." She pointed at the Evangelion.

Shinji looked at the good doctor and than to EVA Unit One. He looked Dr. Akagi straight into the eye and laughed at her face for a full minute.

"Is that a refusal?" asked Gendo from up in the command center once his son finished laughing.

"Got it in one guess asshole," joked Shinji.

The base rumbled with another explosion. Gendo stared at the ceiling. "It's close, it must be able to sense us."

"Shinji, get in the Eva!" ordered Ritsuko.

The student of Sweet Tooth looked at Ritsuko... and spat in her face. "Pilot it yourself bitch."

Ritsuko was foaming at the mouth as she wiped the spittle off her face. Right than and there, all she wanted to do was call security and have this punk shot. But the world needed this boy or else die. She bit her lip, holding back a torrent of hatred and rage that caused a small trickle of blood to escape. "Fine boy!" she said between feelings of loathing. "Leave! We don't need you!"

Misato offered a quick prayer to God Almighty in Heaven, the thought of the little psycho piloting an Eva made her want to crawl underneath her bed and stay there. "...talk about a nightmare..." she whispered.

But sadly, if there was one thing Gendo excelled at was causing nightmares. "Wake up Rei," he ordered an unseen flunky.

The subordinate asked a question. "Can we use her?"

"She's not dead yet," Gendo said heartlessly.

"Understood." The subordinate opened a line to Rei.

"Rei?" Gendo asked the computer monitor. "Our spare is unusable. You will do it again."

"Yes sir," came a weak reply. Soon, a set of nurses and doctors wheeled the injured and bandaged Rei Ayanami on the hospital gurney. Each foot the nurses pushed her caused another moan to escape. She was rolled in front of Shinji where the nurses left her. The red eyed girl stared at Shinji with interest. She had never seen another albino except for the different clones of her. Rei had not realized that Shinji's incredible paleness was due to clown makeup than being natural. She blinked. Was he like her?

They stared at each other in silence examination for a full minute. Shinji made the first move and took several steps closer. Rei found herself shocked to see someone in NERV's employ wearing such odd clothing. Blue elastic pants and a black muscle-shirt were hardly the style worn by people around Tokyo 3. His huge muscles were intoxicating to her sight. Seeing such a young man with such a massive build was quite different than all the hired mercenary's Commander Ikari hired. Soon the duo were close enough that they could stare into each other's eyes. Rei's cherry red eyes met Shinji's own brown eyes. Violin music started playing. The moment seemed to last an eternity.

"REI, GET IN THE EVA!" Gendo ordered loudly, the Angel was getting closer.

And to prove this, the based rocked with another explosion when caused Rei to tumble out of her gurney. But before she fell, a pair of muscular hands caught her in midair and cradled her as if she were a baby. Without even to look upwards to see the metal beam falling, Shinji took a giant leap forward, placing him just a few feet away from the gigantic LCL tank while continuing his soft caress of the albino girl. The metal beam crashed behind him, unstopped by anything. Normally, Unit One would have deflected the I-beam and rebound it towards Gendo, but due to Shinji's extensive 'death-training' under Sweet Tooth, he was able to hear the metal object falling and simply got out of the way.

Near the large LCL tank, Shinji still held Rei in his arms. She looked at Shinji's colorless painted face with intrigue and Shinji looked at her the same. Around them, everyone one of the maintenance crew members fell silent at the sight of Shinji saving the First Child. Up in the command center, Gendo smirked. Hook, link, and sinker. He looked down at his son, finally bringing him under his shadow.

That was when Shinji dropped Rei into the LCL tank where the weight of her casts caused her to sank. She screamed for help. "Just shut up and drown bitch," Shinji said coldly.

Gendo's jaw dropped.

Rei tried to climb back out, splashing wilderly, but Shinji just gripped her head and shoved her back under. Eventually she stopped moving and sank to the bottom of the pool. After that, Shinji pulled out another fudgesicle and took a few licks while the maintenance crew were having kittens.

"Oh my god, you killed Rei!" "You bastard." "Oh god, oh god, oh god, who'll pilot the Eva?" "He killed Rei! He killed Rei! He killed Rei!" "We're all gonna diiieee!" Everyone in the base looked at Misato for the last statement. Not paticully reassuring words to hear from the tactile officer.

While the hanger was in chaos, Shinji looked up at Gendo while holding his ice cream. "Changed my mind Gendy; I think I will pilot it." He grinned.

Gendo bit back his shock to resumed command of the situation. Though it *was* very difficult. "Than get in the entry plug. You will pilot the Evangelion."

"We're all gonna diiieee!"

Everyone looked at Misato as she was having her second breakdown of the day. She was currently in a fetal position on the floor while whimpering about the end of all humanity.

Shinji ignored her as he got in the plug, papared to do havoc. He walked up to the Eva. "Everyone get out of my way. I'm late for a killing!" He leapt into the waiting entry plug. Power was plugged in and the crew began the entry process as several crewmen lifted up the nervious Misato and took her to the command center.

**XXXXXXX**

"Weird," said Maya Ibuki.

"What is it?" asked Ritsuko.

Maya scratched her head. "When the cockpit filled up with LCL, he showed no reaction. The guy just took a deep breath of the liquid and is acting as if anything was normal. It looked like his only worry when the pod filled up was whether or not it would have ruined his makeup."

"That's strange." Ritsuko added. That's when the other 'bridge bunnies' started running down the checklist.

"Connecting main power."

"Secondary nerve connections established. It's gonna work just fine."

Ritsuko was studying the controls. "Amazing, there were only a one in one thousandth chance the Eva would work but everything is functioning in normal parameters. So what's the brat's synch rating?"

"Synchronization at... my god." Maya looked at the computer and gasped.

"What is it? Is it too low?"

"88%" finished Maya, astonished.

"What?" Ritsuko freaked. "On his first time? Amazing..." she added quietly. "It seems he is the perfect subsitute." Unfortunately, Misato didn't agree with her old friend.

"We can't use him! He's out of his mind!" Misato snapped.

Gendo glared. "Captain Katsuragi, if Shinji does not pilot, than all humanity is doomed."

"It's already dead if we let that wacko pilot a fifty foot robot, retard! He just killed Rei for fun! What do you think he'll do with the Angel?!"

"Do not worry about the pilot Captain," stressed Gendo. "He knows that if the Angel made contact, a Third Impact will occur. So naturally he would think-"

"HE'D THINK IT WAS AWESOME!"

Gendo clenched his teeth. "Captain... sit *down* and do your job. We are about to launch the Third Child and he will-"

"Killusall! Killusall! Killusall!" Misato wailed. She was not having a good day so she resumed her fetal position on the floor.

Gendo wanted to scream form the pure idiocy from a highly placed staff member.

Maya raised her hand. "Uh sir, if the captain doesn't want to, may I say the line?"

It took all of Gendo's cold evil bastard power to resist smacking his forehead. "Fine Ibuki, you may say it."

Maya beamed and stood up proudly. "EVANGELION UNIT ONE! LAUNCH!"

"We're all gonna diiieee!"

**XXXXXXX**

Once the purple Eva was brought up to the surface, it began a slow yet steady stride. Having already worked with vehicles of mass destruction, Shinji had avoided tripping on his first step as he would have normally done. He walked ever so slowly to the Angel. They looked at each other for a moment that seemed to last an eternity.

Than the Angel attacked and BOY did it ever!

The Angel made his first moved and grabbed the Eva by the face. It lifted Unit One off the ground while its arms suddenly swelled up. The monster than gripped the Eva's arm and twisted it violently. Due to Shinji's inexperience with the Eva, the monstrous Angel was able to inflict such horrific torments on the pilot. But Shinji did not scream, his teacher had done much worst just 'to toughen him up' during their lives together.

"Please God, let him die. Please God, let him die. Please God, let him die." Chanted Misato from her fetal position. It was painfully obvious who she was rooting for in this match. However, the bridge-crew ignored her, taking her prayers as just a mad woman's rantings.

"Where are his defense systems?" cried Ritsuko to the bridge crew.

"The system's not responding!" Maya cried desperately.

"His field's not up! It's not unfolding!" Makoto cried out.

"It's not up?!" yelled a panicked Ritsuko.

The Angel crushed the Eva's arm, breaking it in two jagged pieces.

"Left arm damaged!" cried Maya.

"The circuits have snapped!" said Aoba.

Shinji was growling softly inside the cockpit as the Angel lifted him higher into the air. The purple protrusion on the Angel's arm lengthen before slamming forward though a hole in its hand and smashing into the Eva's face.

Shinji did not scream from within the Evangelion, choosing instead to bite his lip that cause a small trickle of blood to drip.

Within seconds, the face armor of the Eva shattered into pieces. The Angel followed though by slamming the Unit One into the side of a building while the monstrous Angel charged up another energy beam from its claws and impaled the Eva in the head.

"YES!" Misato cheered as a massive amount of fluid burst through the front and back of the Eva's head.

"Unit One has gone completely silent!" informed Aoba.

"Misato, snap out of it!" cried Ritsuko.

Misato jumped out of her fetal position with a newfound grip on life. "Activate the Dummy Plug system to fight the Angel!"

Ritsuko blinked. It was not like her old friend to be so callous. "What about the pilot?"

"Screw 'em! Activate the Dummy Plug!"

"We can't! The system's not responding!" said Maya.

"WHAT?!" yelled Ritsuko. "Oh god, that means Shinji must be dead."

"Happy days are here again! The skies above are clear again-"

"MISATO!" screeched Ritsuko. She slapped her head and took command since the tactile officer was currently doing a happy dance. "Abort the operation and eject the entry plug!"

"We can't! It's completely out of control!" screamed Maya.

"What did you say?!" said Ritsuko in shock.

Shinji's Eva reared back its head suddenly as it reactivated. Its monstrous jaw ripped wide open and roared angrily.

"Berserker..." muttered Ritsuko in horror.

Unit One crouched down onto the ground and lept into the air, landing on top of the Third Angel. The Eva lifted up its hand and clenched its fist In a surge of dark power, the broken limb was healed.

"Left arm repaired!" cried Maya as she watched in awe.

"Just like that?" question Ritsuko in shock.

With a loud howl, the Eva sank its jaws into the Angels shoulder, tearing the flesh off. Gripping the Angel's shoulders, the Evangelion flipped the monster into midair and slammed it painfully on the ground. The Angel screeched in rage but before it could counterattack, the Eva began kicking the floored Angel in the stomach. Had the monster any ribs, they would have broken. Next the Eva roared angerly as it dove on the Angel, grabbing boths its hands in one arm, twisting and breaking them almost casually. Emittenating horrible howls, the Eva rolled the Angel onto its back where with just a single punch shattered the alien's spine. Now with boths its arms and legs useless, the Angel was at the mercy of the berserker Evangelion. The Eva crouched down, seeming to examine the Angel. Than the purple Eva took out its progressive knife and began peeling the Angel's skin off.

Hyuga felt ill. "He's... torturing the Angel."

Everyone in the command center blinked. That was not an act of a berserker Evangelion. Maya looked her computer screen. "Uhm... Sempai? According to this readout, the pilot still has control of the Eva. So that means-"

"He's been doing all this on his own?!" yelled Ritsuko.

"We're all gonna diiieee!" Misato resumed her fetal position on the floor.

Outside, the Angel whiethered in agony. Each passing second, the monster suffered with each layer of epidermus removed. At this rate, it would take an hour before the Eva would reach the soft s2 organ within its belly. Perhaps sensing that his power was low, Shinji dove the prog knife at what the Eva's sensors dictated as the most vulnerable part. With a scream of pain (or relief?) the Angel exploded in a bright flash of light whose flame formed a shape not unlike a burning cross.

Everyone in the control room looked on in horror as the Eva stomped forward though the flame. Unit One stood silently and proud as the flames from the Angel's explosion died down. Shinji Ikari (or Shinji Kane, he'll answer to either one) had won and Tokyo 3 was safe again.

Ritsuko spoke over the intercom. "Good job Shinji, now return back to base!"

But Shinji wasn't the type to be ordered around. Focusing all his thoughts, the Eva opened its mouth and began to hum softly, forming sounds many would recognize.

"Ice cream music?" asked Makoto. He hadn't heard that familiar jingle since he was a child.

Everyone else in the command center nodded dumbly, even Gendo, though they could not understand the point nor even how Shinji was able to make the Eva produce music with its primitive vocal cords.

An underground shelter was nearby and little kids who had been hiding there with their families from the sounds of battle were overjoyed to hear the screams of death to be replaced with a joyful tone. Against their parents orders, the little children left the shelter to get their ice cream. But seeing a fifty foot robot with Angel blood on its hands and teeth outside made them all want to pee in their pants. So they did the smartest thing they could, they ran back into the shelter crying for their mommys and daddys.

Within the Eva, Shinji grinned. "Party time."

Inside the command room, things were not going well.

"Oh my god! He's attacking a shelter!" Kozo Fuyutsuki looked ready to have a heart attack.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT PSYCHO WOULD DO THIS!" Misato looked ready to join him.

"Eject the plug!" Ritsuko ordered Maya.

"Can't! He's blocking the signal!"

Gendo glared and turned to leave. "Fuyutsuki, I leave this to you."

"The Hell you will! Get your ass back here Ikari! I am *not* gonna be the one to explain this to the press!" Fuyutsuki grabbed the commander by the neck and dragged him back.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIEEE!" wailed Misato like she was seeing the future.

**XXXXXXX**

It was a full thirty minutes before Unit One ran out of power and it was another ten minutes before Shinji was escorted to the command center by a nervous pair of Section 2 agents. While Misato may not have recognized the name of Shinji's mentor, Charles Needles Kane otherwise known as Sweet Tooth, was well known among hired mercenaries. So they didn't complain too much when Shinji stopped by his 'Tasty Treats' ice cream truck to grab a few ice cream bars even though Gendo told them to bring Shinji straight to him.

It wasn't long before Shinji was standing before his father at the NERV command bridge. Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki stand next to the commander while Misato was hiding behind Ritsuko, hoping that Shinji doesn't notice her. Once Shinji got out of the Eva, a few agents tried to get him in handcuffs and put him into custody and Shinji... and Shinji... Nope! Misato did not want Shinji to notice her!

The bridge-bagade stood off on the sidelines, watching the father-son meeting taking place. In front of Shinji, Gendo Ikari looked down at his son.

"Third Child, you are a disappointment. I gave you a simple task and you couldn't even do that. You are useless."

Shinji looked at his father, the man who abandon him for over half his life, smiled... and spat in his face.

Gendo glared hatefully as he wiped the spittle off. "Since your exploits yesterday *did* save the city, you will not be held accountable for the deaths of the people you killed." He spoke through grinded teeth. What was SEELE thinking telling him to do this?

Shinji raised an eyebrow. It was as if he was insulted by the fact he wouldn't be blamed for their deaths. He frowned and pulled out a push-up orange bar and started snacking.

"Furthermore, you are free to go. We have no need of you as a pilot." He pushed a button and who should appeared out of an open doorway? The still bruised and battard Rei Ayanami in a wheelchair. She was breathing rather hard as if her lungs were very weak. "After you were launched with the Eva, several doctors fished Rei out of the LCL tank and revived her with CPR." Gendo lied but he couldn't tell Shinji or his bridge crew about Rei's cloning procedures.

Shinji glared. It wasn't everyday someone he killed came back. "You're saying I'm not gonna pilot the giant doll anymore." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes," Gendo glared. "We have a replacement for you." He pointed at Rei.

Shinji shrugged, acting as if he were leaving. So he turned around, leaving his father behind. Both Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki glared hatefully at Shinji's retreating form while Misato wept tears of joy.

Shinji stopped in front of the wheel-chaired bound Rei. He held out his ice cream. "Want some?" he asked quietly.

Rei shook her head. "I have never had ice cream before."

Shinji's jaw dropped. For the first time since he met Sweet Tooth, Shinji was horrified. "You poor girl," he whispered gently. "Here, have a taste. It's very good."

Rei nodded, causing another soft moan. Shinji gently cupped Rei's chin so as not to harm her. He brought the orange flavored treat to her lips where she licked it up, savoring the sweet taste. "It is very good," she said honestly.

"Have some more," Shinji gently offered. He held the ice cream closer so she would not have to move her hurt neck. They stared into each others eyes. Violine music could be heard playing again.

"Have some more bitch!" Shinji shoved the entire ice cream bar down Rei's throat, chocking her to death.

Gendo's jaw dropped again.

Shinji smirked and looked at his dad. "Just lost your replacement, huh? Guess I'm still your pilot Gendy," he smiled with a insane look in his eyes.

Gendo nodded slowly, not believing what just happened. Seeing he had his father's okay, Shinji left the command bridge. He was out of ice cream and needed to get some from his truck. Back on the bridge, Ritsuko had just finished examining Rei.

"She's dead sir," she replied emotionlessly.

Gendo slowly counted to ten, this was just not his day. He looked over to the aged Fuyutsuki. "Prepare Rei IV professer." He turned to leave.

Fuyutsuki was rubbing his forehead. "Something tells me, we'll gonna have to make a lot more clones."

**XXXXXXX**

"What?" gasped Misato in true horror.

Shinji raised an eyebrow. It wasn't everyday something like this happened.

"It's Commander Ikari's orders. You have been assigned as the Third Child's legal guardian. He is to live with you."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Misato as she fell to her hands and knees and started crying.

"The Third Child, despite his... ideas of fun, is still a minor. He is to live with you so that you can keep an eye on him," said the man calmly as he looked at the terrorfied Misato.

"HE'LL KILL ME!"

"You have your orders Captain," said the man with a cold finality in his voice.

Misato couldn't even respond, she was too busy sobbing.

Shinji glared coldly at her. "Guess we're roomies now, huh Misato?"

"...I'm going to die..."

"Yes," Shinji said quietly. "You are."

Misato balled her eyes out for a full hour.

**XXXXXXX**

Ritsuko held the phone away from her ear as screams of terror rushed through the phone. When she stopped, Ritsuko tried to ease her friend. "Please Misato calm down, I tried to talk the commander out of it, but he wouldn't let Shinji go. So... you're stuck with him. Misato stop crying, it's not going to change Gendo's mind." Misato said something that seemed to anger Ritsuko. "Don't you dare threaten me! I can tell you for a FACT that nobody will believe you if you say me, you, and Maya were having a mass sexual liaison with Mr. Fuyutsuki. You know that!" She slammed the phone on the receiver before Misato started the next stream of whimpers, moans, and pleas.

Rubbing her eyes, Ritsuko sat down in her chair and continue with her stress reduction technique. By an odd quirk of fate, she had been doing this more often ever since Shinji showed up. Ritsuko thought about her old friend having to live with the makeup wearing muscle man. "May God have mercy on your soul Misato."

**XXXXXXX**

"Waaaaa," cried Misato as she stared at the silent receiver as if it were the final sign that that her life was over. All that was left to do now was take the little psycho to her home.

Seeing how she was going to suggest that, Shinji beat her to the punch. "Time to go home. Get in the truck, I'll drive." He gestured towards his 'Tasty Treats' ice cream truck.

Misato made a little sound. Whether it was a whimper or a prayer to God is unknown. With that off her chest, she climbed into the passenger seat and let Shinji drive them home.

**XXXXXXX**

It was ten minutes later when Shinji and Misato reached her apartment complex. Normally the drive took Misato a full half-hour to get there from NERV's central office. But Shinji knew some shortcuts that would always save time.

Misato lead Shinji through her home, showing him the rooms. Her demeaner was calm, her voice was monotone, her eyes were glossy, and her skin was as pale as Rei's. It appeared that Shinji's 'short cuts' had shook Misato up a bit and she was going though a bit of shock. "This is your room," she pointed to a well sized room. "You may put your things in here." She walked off without a single shread of her normally perky self showing. While Shinji was removing the things in his dufflebag, Misato sat in a chair with her legs uncross and her hands in her lap. She stared at the turned off television. It took a bit of time before she remembered that to watch tv, one must turn on the tv. She reached for a remote and hit the power button.

*click*

"87 people died today when the Third Angel attacked a shelter before NERV could repel it."

*click*

"Mr. Spokesman, is it true that NERV employs known psychotics to man its weapons?"

*click*

"Millions of dollars of damage caused today, so just who will pay-"

*click*

"I'm here at the destroyed shelter where firemen and police do their best to search for survivors."

*click*

"Mass destruction hit a downtown mall minutes ago when an ice cream truck-"

*click*

"I can't find my mommy news-lady! She disappeared when the ice cream truck-"

*click*

"Oh god! We can't find her legs! Somebody find her legs 'fore she bleeds to death!"

*click*

"A heavily armored ice cream truck drove through mall's front doors and proceded to-"

*click*

"Hi kids, I'm Chucky the Clown! Today we're going to the barn, so lets get in our clown car and-"

"AAAAHHHH!" Misato screamed and threw the remote through the television screen, breaking it. She started running around in circles within her appartment. Finally she charged out the door, nearly breaking it off its hinges while screaming like a mad man.

Shinji poked his head out to see his roommate gone. He decided to give himself a private tour of Misato's dirty apartment. He opened her refrigerator and was even a little shocked to see so many beer bottles lined up. Walking away, he sat down on the couch and started licking another ice cream bar. He had just started when a certain black and white flightless waterfowl hopped on the couch with him. It appeared to want his ice cream.

Shinji stared at the large metallic collar on the penguin's neck. "Pen-Pen, huh?" Shinji could have sworn he saw the bird nod its head. "Wanna taste?" Pen-Pen nodded again. Shinji blinked and shrugged his shoulders, choosing to let the penguin have a tiny lick. After one bite, he began devouring the ice cream. "Wow, you sure like cold treats don't you?" He petted Pen-Pen and it responded by chirping happily.

**XXXXXXX**

After Misato finished running around her neighborhood, screaming like it was Third Impact, she returned back to home not because she had worked it out of her system but because the cops were now looking for a 'screaming crazy woman.' She was leaning against the door, summoning the last remaining shreds of her courage. "You can do this Misato. You can do this Misato." She repeated like an anthem. "You can't let him win! Eventually the brass will figure out just how crazy he is and lock him up. You just simply have to keep an eye on him. That shouldn't be a problem, heck, you have a shotgun in my room so you'll just sleep with that." She took several more deep breaths. "You'll be okay, you just simply have to watch yourself." She took another deep breath and went in the apartment.

She was going to head straight for her room to grab a gun to guard herself with when her nose picked up something delicious. She saw Shinji at the dining room table, eating from a plate. "Shinji, just where did you get that? That looks fresh so it isn't take out."

"It's just some poultry I cooked up," Shinji took another bite.

"Smells good, is there any left?"

Shinji shook his head. "Wasn't a big piece of meat," he spoke between mouthfuls.

"Did you buy it while I was out? I don't remember keeping any meat here."

"Sure you do, you were keeping it in the freezer." Shinji said calmly.

Misato chuckled. Maybe Shinji wasn't as bad as he seemed. "Don't be silly Shinji. The only thing in the freezer besides some ice is Pen-" Misato finally put two and two together and did not like the answer. "YOU ATE HIM! YOU ATE HIM!" Misato started crying. "OH GOD, PEN-PEN! YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND!" Misato reassumed her fetal position on the floor, crying her eyes out.

Shinji held out a fork with some fried penguin to the sobbing Misato. "Wanna bite?"

**XXXXXXX**

After cleaning his plate off, Shinji retired to his bedroom. He was in for a long day tomarrow so he was going to get a good night sleep. But in Misato's room, the poor woman was crouching at the foot of her bed, holding a shotgun at the door in case the makeup wearing Shinji came in. She was shaking horribly and her eyes were blurring, unable to focus on anything. She heard a noise above her and aimed the shotgun at the ceiling. Had she pulled the trigger, the young couple upstairs would have had their honeymoon ruined pretty badly. Not seeing the muscular Shinji dive through the ceiling, Misato resumed her aim at her door for the remainer of the night.

**XXXXXXX**

The next day at NERV's training center...

"Good morning Shinji, how are you today?" asked Ritsuko the gigantic Eva, today was a practice day for their new pilot. There was no answer. "Shinji? Shinji? Come in Shinji. MAYA! IS HE EVEN IN THERE?!"

"Uh... no he isn't Sempai," she said quietly.

Feeling another headache coming, Ritsuko lit a cigarette and started smoking. "So. Where. Is. He?"

"Right behind ya' blondy."

"Eep!" Dr. Akagi jumped around. She glared at Shinji. "You're late! And why aren't you in your plug suit?" she yelled.

Shinji didn't even bother to answer, choosing instead to focus his attention on his ice cream. He was wearing his typical blue elastic pants, dark muscle shirt, and black leather boots and gloves. Oh, and also his pancake clown makeup.

His silence infuriated Ritsuko. "Listen Third, I am a superior officer as is your guardian Misato Katsuragi, so you will show me the same respect as you do her!"

"Oky doky!" With an insane smile, Shinji yanked the cigerette out of Ritsuko's mouth and shoved the lited end in her right eye.

"AAARRRR!" Ritsuko screamed before hitting the ground, ripping the cigerette out.

Shinji chuckled softly before walking out of the room, still licking his ice cream. Behind him, Maya was by Ritsuko's side doing her best to calm the doctor. "Don't worry Sempai, eyepatches can be very fetching these days."

Ritsuko suckered punched Maya in the face for her stupid remark.

"BY DOSE! BY DOSE! DOU BROGE BY DOSE HEMPAI!"

"YOU IDIOT! YOU IDIOT!"

Makoto and Aoba entered the room to report for duty. The first thing they saw was Dr. Akagi and Maya Ibuki rolling on the floor screaming and yelling.

"BY DOSE!"

"MY EYE!"

"BY DOSE!"

"MY EYE!"

"BY DOSE!"

"MY EYE!"

Aoba stared slack jaw while Makoto was rubbing his eyes, hoping for the headache to go away. "Aoba, go get a doctor," he said tiresome.

"But there's one right there," he pointed at Ritsuko.

"Not her moron!"

"Just kidding," Aoba replied sheepishly.

**XXXXXXX**

A group of doctors and nurses rushed by Shinji on their way to the training center. He didn't really pay much attention to them, though he did expect seeing them a little bit sooner. Passing by the hospital ward, Shinji saw something out of the corner of his eye. Looking through a glass window, he saw Rei Ayanami laying down in a bed.

His curiosity perked, he entered her room. As expected, she was still wearing several casts and bandages but what was unexpected was that she was still alive. He moved in closer, taking a seat in a chair next to her bed. The albino girl opened her red eyes. "Pilot Ikari," she said gently. "Why are you here?"

"To see you," he answered simply.

"I am glad you did. After I chocked on the ice cream you gave me, I had to have my stomach pumped in order to save my life. That is why I'm still here for you."

Shinji raised an eyebrow, that didn't sound like Rei.

"Shinji," she gently took ahold of his hand. "I-I-I... feel a need... to protect you."

Shinji gasped. "You mean... even after everything I've done to you... you *still* want to protect me?"

Rei smiled, she acturally smiled. "Yes, though I do not know why but I must help you." She giggled, she actually giggled. "Strange, isn't it?"

"Not really," Shinji answered honestly. He cupped Rei's chin in his hand when he answered her. Violin music could be heard playing.

"But it is strange that you're still breathing bitch!" Shinji picked up a bed pan and bashed Rei's skull in. After a few short seconds and one giant red puddle on her pillows later, Shinji left her room and met Gendo just outside her door.

Gendo couldn't even say anything, he was in shock. Shinji looked at him, grinned, and walked off. It was time to sell some ice cream to the people of Tokyo 3 Sweet Tooth style.

Gendo looked rather wigged out. He pulled out a telephone. "Professor? Ikari here. Prepare Rei V. The Third Child was alone with her again." On the other end of the line, Gendo could have sworn he heard Fuyutsuki banging his head on a wall while screaming out curses. "Fuyutsuki, meet me in the command center in an hour. Right now, I must speak with Unit One's pilot."

**XXXXXXX**

An hour later...

"Commander, I am requesting that the Third Child no longer be allowed to pilot an Eva," Fuyutsuki asked as he and the commander were walking down the halls.

"Denied professor." Gendo said automaticly. "Shinji is to continue piloting the Eva. I have informed him that he is to cease any and all ideas for wrecking the city."

"You think that's going to work?" Fuyutsuki said cockeyed.

"Yes, I do."

"Commander," Fuyutsuki took a deep breath to steady himself. "Are you ignorant or just plan stupid?! Do you remember what he did yesterday, dumbass?"

Fuyutsuki harsh language did not phase Gendo. "I have the Third Child under control, if-"

"BULL$#!+ YOU DO!"

Gendo glared. "AS. I. WAS. SAYING!" Gendo took a breath to calm himself. "If the Third Child decides to act up while in public, I have instructed the Section 2 agents following him to-"

"They're not gonna do anything moron! Have you ever been in the cafeteria when they're eating and have Shinji walk in? They all shut the hell up! Sure they seemed not mind him until I mentioned he was raised by some shmuck named Charles Needles Kane and then they look like they're going to suicide! If you're not gonna get rid of Shinji, at least get him his own apartment! I fear for Captain Katsuragi's life and sanity living with him! Jesus Christ, there's a pool going around on how long it'll be before Shinji kills her!"

"Professor," Gendo said slowly while using the title he always called Fuyutsuki to remind him of his place. "I put the child under Katsuragi's care so she could report on his behavior."

"Yes, the Captain just handed me her first report today." Fuyutsuki held out a sheet of paper. On it were just four words repeated over and over again. 'PEN-PEN GONE NOW!' Misato had filled up an entire page with those words. "Yes sir, she has a handle on the situation," he replied sarcastically. "Sir, for the last time, please reconsider having Shinji live in separate quarters at least for her own welfare."

"Listen Fuyutsuki, I say Katsuragi can handle the child. She did rise up to be a captain in NERV after all, so naturally she is made of sterner stuff than you."

Fuyutsuki said nothing, once Gendo made up his mind, it was impossible to pursed him otherwise. The enter the command center where a pale and trembling Misato was crouched up in a corner of the room holding her arms and legs. "Can't sleep... clown will eat me. Can't sleep... clown will eat me. Can't sleep... clown will eat me."

Fuyutsuki rolled back his eyes. "Oh yeah, she's made of *real* stern stuff."

Right than, the rest of the bridge crew entered the room.

"An eyepatch? A STUPID EYEPATCH? You wanted me to wear a freakin' eyepatch?!"

"Weally Hempai, whey're hetty cool!"

"Can't sleep... clown will eat me."

"Funny?! You thought that was funny?!"

"You have no sense of humor Makoto!"

"Can't sleep... clown will eat me."

"You're an idiot Maya!"

"Bwa you wook hetty wid da eyebatch on Hempai!"

"Can't sleep... clown will eat me."

Fuyutsuki slapped his forehead. "God help us," he muttered.

**XXXXXXX  
The End  
****XXXXXXX**

Cookie hit the pause button. "Well, that was disturbing and downright tasteless. You really thought this was cool?"

"Dude, that was awesome! Fast-forward to see what happens next!"

Cookie did so. "Let's see, when it's revealed that Shinji is a pilot at school, Touji Suzuhara tries to beat him up after class so Shinji... OH MY GOD!"

Creme looked impress. "Wow, I wonder how he was able to sneck a chainsaw into his school?"

Cookie shrugged. "Well, on the plus side the event so horrifies Kensuke Aida that he drops that whole 'war is cool' attitude since Shinji's chainsaw massacre takes place right in front of him. He even throws away all his army magazines and starts dressing like a hippy, shouting 'Love and Peace' to anyone who'll listen."

Cookie continues. "Shinji handles both the forth and fifth Angels pretty well, even though he smashes more of Tokyo 3 during every battle. Than he goes to meet Asuka. The first thing she does when they met is make fun of Shinji's makeup and... whoa!"

"Dude! Sweet! He tied her down to a bed and stabbed her with a dozen ice cream scoopers. I haven't seen something like that since Spawn did the same to Billy Kincaid in issue 5. Lets see that again!"

Cookie rolled his eyes. "Oh great, he's totally desensitized to violence now."

"What about Misato?"

Cookie fast-forward a little more. "It seems that once she sees Kaji, she kidnaps him, quits her job at NERV, and takes him to Las Vegas for a shotgun wedding. Literally. She had the gun pointed at his head and would have pulled the trigger if he didn't say 'I do.'"

"What did NERV have to say about her quiting?"

"Normally, they would have locked her up. But since around that time Shinji finally had enough and killed 'Gendy', Fuyutsuki decided to leave her alone 'cuz she was 'smart enough to get the hell out.' So that means Misato and Kaji get to live happally ever after."

"What about the rest?" Creme wanted to know.

"Lets see... Rei does not have a fun time in this series. By the time the Twelfth Angel attacks, they're already at Rei XV. Eventurally, Shinji gets tired of the albino girl coming back from the dead, so he tortures Ritsuko to get the info about Rei's revivals' and precedes to burn the cloning facility with a flame-thrower." Cookie made a face. "Ms. Cat, Coffee, and Smokes dies a pretty nasty death when Shinji's finished with her. Maya commits suicide right after that. The rest of the bridge crew, Makoto and Aoba gets killed during a training exercise when Sweet Tooth Shinji just has enough of the pair and offs them. SEELE puts Fuyutsuki in charge after Gendo buys it but they won't let the old guy fire Shinji. He stays alive until Shinji gets absorbed by the Eva. Against orders from SEELE, Fuyutsuki does his best to keep Shinji in there but the Eva spits him out real quick cuz it deems him too nutty to keep locked inside. Once out, Shinji learns what Fuyutsuki tried to do and blows his head off with a rifle."

Cookie continues. "With Touji's... chainsaw accident, Asuka's death, and Rei's multiple deaths, SEELE is forced to continue finding Children to pilot the Evas but Shinji pretty much kills them the moment he meets them. Hey buddy get this: Kaworu's the Nineteenth Child! Ug... not too pretty what happens to numbers four through eighteen."

Creme interrupted his friend. "Most of the Angel fights stay the same except Shinji practically does them all by himself and with a LOT more innocent casualties and damage to Tokyo 3. The Thirteenth Angel possesses Unit Three and Shinji kills him... without having to use the dummy plug."

"Oh dear." Cookie looked quite pale at the bloody remains of Unit Four and the pilot.

"Hey look! Kaworu buys it the same way as in the series. Shinji grabs him in Unit One and makes like a pez dispenser and pops his head off!"

"Uh... Creme? Kaworu just showed up at NERV, the guy didn't even get a chance to *show* that he was an Angel before Shinji tore his head off. The guy just walked in while Shinji was practicing with the Eva, saw Kaworu, and did the deed. After Kaworu's death, SEELE tries to take over NERV as it did in 'Death and Rebirth' but Shinji hops in his ice cream truck and uses his special attack where he transforms the truck into its giant robot mode and proceeds to rip the little soldiers into tiny bits all throughout Terminal Dogma. After the invasion fails, Shinji goes to see the mastermind of the Twisted Metal tournament himself: Calypso. Calypso isn't too happy with SEELE for trying to start a Third Impact, so he does the only thing he could do. He tells Shinji each of their names and addresses. It isn't long before Shinji hunts down and kills each of 13 SEELE members in *very* violent and bloody deaths."

"C'mon Cookie, you're making it sound like this Shinji's worst than the original. Look here, Sweet Tooth Shinji prevents Third Impact from ever happening by killing SEELE off! See? Shinji turned out a lot better with Sweet Tooth! Look at the end of the series, he just won Calypso's latest tournament and uses his wish to free his mother from Unit One. There they all, Shinji has his arms wrapped around his mother and she's crying on his shoulder. The poor woman's crying so hard she can't even speak. Nice ending, huh?"

"Uh... Creme? It kinda looks like Shinji's choking her."

Creme blinked. "You think so?"

*snap*

"Yeah I think so," Cookie replied. "Well that was practically violent, horrifying, and downright disturbing."

"LETS WATCH IT AGAIN!"

"DEAL!" Cookie hit the play button and started the DVD all over again.

**XXXXXXX  
**_**The End  
**_**XXXXXXX**

Hope you enjoyed the first story of my new series. I guess an explanation is in order for this little piece. Just a little bit ago, I played Twisted Metal Black for ps2 and BOY did that game live up to its title! The moment I saw Sweet Tooth's opening where his first words in the game were 'Shut up and die mother f****r' this story's been running though my head ever since. Plus I've never seen a NGE fic even REMOTLY simular to this so I hoped you liked it.

Now I know I'm probably going to get some e-mails where people suggest who they would like to see play the fatherly role for Shinji and I HOPE YOU DO! I always read my reviews and take them into consideration. So if you've got a good idea for a parent whether he be cool, bad ass, or female, just place a review or e-mail me. It's due to my friend J Chapin for suggesting the idea of a series of Shinji being raised by different people that caused me to do this. Special thanks and praise to my buddy J. Chapin!

Heck! If you want to, just e-mail me and ask to continue one of my short stories. This is a lot like Metroanime's 'A Fistful of Omake' so if you ask me, you may continue with it. One more thing, I hereby make a vow: RANMA SAOTOME WILL NEVER RAISE SHINJI! Honestly, that idea has been done to death! It's old, it's stale, and unorginal! Now I'm not slamming any authors for doing a story like this but like I said in my bio, I'm only interested in doing stories that have never been done before. I never read a story where Carrot Glace joined Zaha Torte so I wrote 'A New Path'. I never read a story where Darth Maul met Sailor Moon, so I wrote 'Darth Maul: Of Siths and Sailors'. Got that people! I want to do original stories so I can entertain you! ^_^

Hope you like the fic, well you must excuse me. I'm off to do the next chapter of 'Green With Evil' and maybe another chapter of 'Shinji, Lord of the Sith' so I hope you'll review.


	2. Evaball Z

_**Disclaimer:**_ Neon Genesis Evangelion is copyright by A.D. Vision and was created by Studio Gainax animation while the DBZ crew is own by Toei Animation and licensed by FUNimation. All their characters are used without permission. Those characters aren't mine but I did create Cookie and Creme.

Hello people! WDCain Man here. I was expecting to get quite a bit of reviews for chapter one, but wow! Sixteen reviews in less than 24 hours! That's a record for me! I thought my Hidden Power story where Shinji met Senator Palpatine was impressive with me getting eight reviews on the first day, but my Sweet Tooth Shinji story topped it big time! Now, I know it's a safe bet to say that a lot of you want me to continue with my twisted tale of Sweet Tooth Shinji because it was and I quote 'dark, disturbing, and violent!' IT WAS SO COOL! Who knows? If I ever get in the mood, I might do another chapter but I doubt it.*sniffle sniffle* But if there is someone who wants to continue this, just e-mail me and I'll let you.

And another thing: I don't mind getting negative reviews. That is to be expected in fanfic writing but if you don't like it, tell me why. Was it boring? Too wordy? Not violent enough? HOPE HOPE HOPE! Just saying the story sucks is considered as flaming but leaving a review saying what you felt wasn't all right is called feedback and feedback is what I want. I wouldn't mind other ideas either. NOW ENJOY THE STORY!

**XXXXXXX**

The scenery is a dark room, so dark that only the faint outline of two LazyBoy chairs can be seen with a large big screen TV in front. Suddenly the lights come on and quite naturally, Cookie and Creme are lounging on the furniture dressed in their normal clothes. Cookie is in his brown trenchcoat and leather boots while Creme is in his light blue jeans and his 'Golden Girls' t-shirt.

"Yo," Cookie made the peace sign. "Welcome to another episode of 'NGE Theater.' I am your host, Cookie, and this is my assistant, Creme." He pointed to the short redheaded teenager with the red bandana on sitting next to him.

"ASSISTANT?!" Creme vented. "Bucko remember? We'll co-hosts!"

Cookie grinned softly. "Okay okay, we're both the co-hosts." Cookie rolled his eyes. "Jesus, give the guy his own TV show and he becomes a prima donna."

"I HEARD THAT!"

"Good, I was worried you didn't. So what are we watching this time buddy?"

Creme frowned but still reached for the latest DVD that had just arrived and read the back. "Hey cool, check this out Cookie." He handed Cookie the DVD.

Cookie read the back and whistled. "Now that's a crossover I don't think I've ever seen done before... THIS'LL BE AWESOME! I've never seen a DBZ/NGE crossover before!"

"Sweet! Man, this is gonna be awesome! An ass-kickin' Shinji!"

Cookie read the back cover again. "No... while he is pretty strong, he doesn't appear really violent."

Creme sulked. "So he wasn't raised by the Veg-head or Pointy-ears. So is he a player?"

"No, not really. He likes women all right but is pretty respectful towards them."

"That marks out Roshi and Oolong," Creme thought harder. "He's not all wussy still, is he?"

"Nope, he's pretty strong here. Really strong actually, the guy's as tough as Tien during the Cell fight and won't take any innocents being hurt. He's got so much chi 'fire power' that he can pretty easily blow up a small planet. We gonna see some angelic ass kickings here!"

"Okay, forget Krillin then. So what's Shinji like?"

Cookie grinned. "He's unlike any other Shinji seen before. Get this dude: He's happy, positive, cheerful, and upbeat! His only problem is that he's a tad naive and gullible. He's the exact opposite of what canon Shinji is. Oh, and for our audience members who don't know what 'canon' means, it refers to having to do with the original story. So our happy Shinji is as anti-canon as he can be or OOC (out of character)."

Creme blinked. "Waitaminute, he's being attacked by Angels, manipulated by Gendo, abused by Asuka, and he still has a positive disposition? Who the HECK raised him to be like tha..." Creme smiled. "Oh yeah, heh heh heh. Plug it in!" Creme was grinning ear-to-ear when Cookie put the disk in. He and Cookie were always big fans of this series. Still smiling, the two leaned back in their 'Lazy-Boy' chairs and hit play.

**XXXXXXX  
**_**NGE Theater**_

_**Today's Story:**_

_**Evaball Z**_

**XXXXXXX**

The Year 2015 AD...

"Damn! Why did I have to lose him at a time like this?" muttered the beautiful Misato Katsuragi while she drove though the evacuated streets of Tokyo III. She frowned as she looked at the photo on top of the folder in the seat next to her. The name Shinji Ikari was written on the bottom and a rather joyful looking boy wearing an orange dogi around his surprisingly well toned body. Next to him was a large muscular man with long spiky black hair who was dressed the same as Shinji. Misato smiled, so this kid had a little marital arts ability. Well... she might give the handsome bugger a little sparing match just to show him how well the army can train its fighters and show the child just how much stronger the army can make you. Misato blinked. Were two kids just laughing at her?

**XXXXXXX**

"Cha la, head cha la," sang Shinji merrily. What a nice day in Tokyo III! But where were all the people at? This was a city and cities have lots of people in them. That's what Papa Goku always told him. Heck, whenever he went to stay at Aunty Bulma and Mr. Vegeta's house (Mr. Vegeta did not like Shinji calling him Uncle Vegeta and if Mr. Vegeta does not like something, it's going to stop) he got to see lots of people, especially if Cousin Trucks or Bra took him around town. So where was everyone?

And speaking of people, just where was the purple hair woman at? He pulled out a picture of a beautiful purple-haired woman, who was bent over subjectively along with an arrow pointing at her cleavage, which said 'Get a load of this!' Shinji examined the photo and had to agree, those clothes of hers were pretty cool. Did she like going swimming too?

In his other hand was a black suitcase that held enough clean clothes to get him by, some money, the credit card Mama Chi Chi gave him to buy food (he was a growing boy after all), and an ever useful Dragonball Locater (you can't tell when you'll need it). So he was set for anything. So now if only he could find someone, he could go on his way.

Relaxing his mind, Shinji let his consciousness loose, spreading itself across the empty streets. If there wasn't anyone on the streets so where...? UNDERGROUND?! Shinji did a recheck. Yep, everyone's underground. But why would they do that? Right than Shinji's mind flared. Something very powerful was coming his way, a strong power but not focused too well.

The Third Angel appeared, smashing buildings into bits. Shinji took a moment to examine the Angel as it wrecked havoc in the city. Shinji looked at the thing with a detailed eye. Its monstrous thin limbs, distorted body, and pale face gave it a horrifying image to anyone.

"COOL!" Shinji chirped. He hadn't seen something that big since Papa Goku took him off to outer space to see the Namek Dragon who Mr. Dende called 'The God of Love.' Shinji never could figure out why someone would think that a 1200 foot green lizard could have anything to do with love. Of course, they did make a few stops on the way to nice Namek. They didn't do anything really unusual: Free a planet from evil aliens, stop some psychotic cyborgs from blowing up a world, and even got to go see Other World where that funny King Kai gave him a private lesson in the Kaio Ken and Spirit Bomb techniques.

The Angel smashed another skyscraper down. After seeing that, Shinji wondered if he should stop the mean old alien. He dropped his suitcase to the ground and took a stance with his legs bent and his hands cupped his hands to the side. This wasn't going to need too much energy. Heck, the trademark technique of the Turtle Hermit School of Martial Arts alone would more than enough.

"KA..." Shinji started focusing his energy.

The Third Angel noticed the buildup of energy and became concerned.

"ME..." A small flicker of blue light began to form in his hands.

Spotting where the energy was from, Sachiel began running towards it.

"HA..." The small blue flicker formed into a small blue ball.

The Angel's pace quicken. He wasn't too sure if he could fully rejuvenate if that blast hit now.

"ME..." The now large ball was packing so much energy an AT Field couldn't even hope to stop it.

The Angel slowed and considered running for it knew it would not survive this blast.

Right than Misato's car came flying though the streets and she slammed on the breaks, stopping right between Shinji's blast and the Angel. Shinji gasped and canceled out the blast before it could accidentally kill the woman.

She slammed opened the door, "Hurry, get in!"

"But... the evil alien," Shinji said confused. Weren't regular people supposed to hide when bad guys came to destroy the world? Maybe she holding her power back? A lot of power that is.

"NERV'll take care of it! Now get in!" She yelled.

Recognizing her face from the photo, Shinji obeyed. Whoever this NERV sucker was, he must be pretty tough. Shinji couldn't help but wonder if he found a new sparing mate here. Uncle Tien and Uncle Piccolo were the only two to actually take time out of their busy schedules to help train him and show him their techniques. Shinji took his seat and Misato pushed the pedal to the medal and floored it just as the Angel smashed the spot they were at. Misato, being the wonderful driver she is, got the Hell out of there.

**XXXXXXX**

"Sorry about that before, I was just scared about you." She said cheerfully.

"Thanks for caring," Shinji replied in all honesty.

"No problem, I'm Misato Katsuragi," Misato smiled. What a nice kid. She looked Shinji up and down and was surprised by his clothing. A dark blue three piece suit was worn over his well muscular body. Due to the fabric, Misato had no idea just how built the tiny Ikari was for despite his small size. The boy possessed a very built body. A similar blue business hat was worn over the young man's dark brown hair which seemed to make him appear much older than he was. All in all, Shinji looked like a wonderful boy.

She was going to talk to the child more when both of them saw several fighter jets engage the Angel. She stopped and pulled the car over. Picking up a pair of binoculars, she peered though them at the action taking place. "Something's wrong," she mumbled.

"Oh? What is?" Shinji tired to look though the window but with Misato's shapely body and heart shape rump blocking the view, it was impossible. So Shinji opened his door and stepped out.

"Hey! Get back in!" Misato snapped.

"Oh come on Miss Misato, I just want a better look." Shinji said playfully while looking over the roof of Misato's car.

Still looking though the binoculars at the Angel, she tried to convince Shinji to return to the car. "But that's dangerous Shinji! We don't know what the UN will-" Misato gasped in horror as she saw the fighter jets instantly pull out of the area. "Oh no! They're gonna use an N2 mine!"

"Is that bad?" Shinji asked innocently.

"Shinji! Get in the car and cover yourself!" she ordered with fearful eyes.

"Why?"

Shinji got his answer right than. After the fighter jets pulled out of the area with the Angel in, there was a bright flash of light and for a short moment, nothing happen. That was when the shockwave hit with enough force to shatter a skyscraper apart with its strength.

"God Shinji! Get back in!" Misato pleaded. All around her, the shockwave tore though the land, destroying the metal railings on the rode and shattering trees that had lived for years into bits of tiny bark. The earth rumbled, the sky turned blood red, and the powerful city that man had made was reduced to rubble, so it was not hard for Misato to imagine what had happen to Shinji outside once the explosion detonated. "OH GOD NO! SHINJJJIII!" Misato wailed the child's name for the duration of the shockwave. Once it ended, she continued laying in her seat, head between her large hips, crying the young man's name. "Shinji... no, please don't die..."

"Okay I won't," came a way too cheerful voice from the side.

"Gawaa?" Misato said slackjaw.

There, standing just outside the car door, with his hands placed firmly on the roof, was Shinji Ikari with his typical oblivious look on his face and his hair all riled up. Misato looked all around the cars surroundings. The street was in shambles. Millions of dollar worth of window glass were shattered. Trees were uprooted and thrown like paper. So why the HECK wasn't her car also tossed around?!

"I-I-I don't get this... The car is still in one piece," Misato said amazingly. "But that's impossible. The N2 explosion should thrown us clear across the highway, so why didn't it?"

Shinji simply shrugged. "Oh, I just held the car down Miss Misato!" he beamed happily. "I'm really strong!" Shinji flexed a muscle but with his suit jacket on, Misato couldn't see the built arm underneath the sleeve.

"Sure Shinji, sure you did," she rolled her eyes.

Shinji blinked at Misato's sarcasticness. "But I really did though. That 'N2' technique wasn't half as strong as Uncle Tien's 'Tri-Force' attack and I can block that even if I'm a little tired."

"...what?" asked Misato. Shinji was proving to be a very strange kid to her.

"Now compared to Mr. Vegeta's 'Gallic Gun', it's nothing. I can't block his Gallic Gun yet but I'm not worried. Maybe in another year or so, I'll have trained enough to do a level 20 Kaio Ken attack. Then I should have enough strength to block it!" Shinji said proudly. "So holding down a car without powering up is pretty easy."

"...Okay," Misato nodded. "Shinji, is your head alright? Did some debris smack into it?"

Shinji looked confused. He rubbed his forehead. "No. I didn't get hit. My suit's a little dirty and my hair needs combed but I'm oka-" Shinji looked horrified. "...No, oh no. OH LORD NOOOO!"

"What is it Shinji?" Misato yelled. The typically happy Shinji suddenly looked terrified.

"My hat! My hat's gone!" Shinji wailed.

Misato facefaulted. Too bad she nearly broke her jaw when she hit the dashboard. The young woman learned a valuable lesson that day: Never facefault in an enclosed space.

She didn't get any help from Shinji who was currently having a heart attack over his lost hat. "Where's my hat? Where's my hat?" Shinji finally hit his personal panic button and began twisting his head left and right in the hope of finding his lost derby. "I can't find my hat Miss Misato!" he wailed and then relaxed. "Oh well, 'dems da breaks," he said nonchalantly. "Can we go Miss Misato? I really want to meet this NERV guy and see if I can fight him."

"..." Misato was really beginning to think Shinji had brain damage from the explosion. "Umm, Shinji?"

"Yes, Miss Misato?"

Misato took a deep breath. "Remind me to give you a CAT scan once we get to HQ, okay?"

Shinji scratched his head. "Uh, okay Miss Misato. I'll remind you."

Misato quickly started her car and both of them were off towards NERV headquarters. Obviously Shinji must have some slight brain damage from the explosion but still for the life of her, she could not figure out why her car wasn't thrown away with the rest of the street. She knew the car wasn't heavy enough to resist that blast so how was it possible? Unfortunately, if Misato had looked at her review mirror while she was driving, she would have seen a set of foot prints deeply imbedded right where Shinji stood when he held her car down. But since she didn't, Misato would never know just how powerful Shinji was.

At least for a while.

**XXXXXXX**

Shinji and Misato had just pulled into the massive NERV complex.

"So this is where that NERV guy lives, right Miss Misato?" asked Shinji hopefully.

Misato rolled her eyes. "Shinji, just read this booklet won't you?" She handed Shinji a green book with the title of 'NERV' written on it.

"Hey, cool!" he snatched the booklet from Misato. "Does this talk about all the secret techniques NERV uses? What about his training methods? Are they in here too?" he asked excitedly.

Misato frowned. Shinji was becoming more and more of a hassle to deal with. "No Shinji. NERV isn't a person, it's a secret organization run by the UN and I work here."

This time, Shinji frowned. "Oh man, and here I thought I was going to meet a really strong guy." He tossed the book into the back seat, deeming it useless.

Misato didn't like how Shinji was talking about the organization she worked for. "Listen Shinji, NERV is the most powerful army on Earth and its job is to protect humanity against the Angels. The Angels seek to destroy the Earth and it's our duty to defend our planet."

Shinji blinked than frowned at Misato. "Waitaminute. That's the Z-Warriors job! We're supposed to protect humanity from galactic forces of evil. Don't you know that, Miss Misato? Secret military organizations can't do squat against super powered threats! Didn't you learn that from the Red Ribbon Army?"

"..." said Misato. Had someone asked her what she thought of Shinji since their initial meeting, she would have said while he was a nice and polite young boy. He was also a tad crazy but now she wasn't sure. Everyone in NERV heard of the domineering Red Ribbon Army and their near attempt to conquer the world over half a century ago. However, just as they appeared, they suddenly vanished without a trace. According to rumors from survivors of the RR Army, one little boy destroyed them all and to the best of Misato's knowledge, a young child like Shinji shouldn't know that.

Misato decided to change the subject. Shinji was proven to be too bizarre for words. "So... uh... looking forward to seeing your dad? I must admit I was surprise when Ritsuko told me to pick up the commander's son. He never mentioned you in all the time we've worked for him."

Shinji smiled fiendishly. The look on his face made him seem like a demonic devil. It frightened Misato. "Yes," he grinned monstrously. "I've been looking forward to seeing him for years." Something caught his eye from below. It was hundreds of buildings built underground. "Hey, what's that?"

Misato looked out her car window and shrugged. "That's a real GeoFront, Shinji. It's our secret underground base, NERV central. This city is the key to rebuilding our world. A fortress for all mankind. Impressive, huh?" she smiled like a cat.

"Not really. It's just some buildings below the earth. Personally, I always liked how the Namekians built their homes. Those white sea-shell houses look so cool with the blue grass and green sky." He snapped his fingers. "Oh, that reminds me Miss Misato. You wanted me to get a CAT scan once we got here."

Misato frowned tiredly. "I'll ask Ritsuko about that later. Now lets get to the main office so I can reintroduce you to your father."

Shinji began rubbing his fist. "I can hardly wait."

**XXXXXXX**

"Oooh, what on Earth? Isn't this the right way?" sighed Misato. So far, she had spent the last ten minutes trying to lead her male compatriot to the central office. Sadly, due to the complex map, it would be a long time before they would finally arrive.

"Excuse Miss Misato, but I think we've already been this way. Let me see the map for a second."

"Good luck," she said tiredly and handed him the map. "Don't worry, Shinji. I can find the right way!" She exclaimed before matching off like a stupid Lewis & Clark.

Shinji studied the map carefully. "Okay... we're here," he pointed towards a corner of the map. "And we want to go... HERE!" Shinji smiled as he figured the exact spot they needed to go. He handed the map back to Misato. "Here ya' go Miss Misato. I've figured out where to go."

Misato rolled her eyes before taking the map and looking at it like a monkey doing a math problem. There was no way Shinji could possibly figure out how to instantly get to where they needed to go just by a simple glance at a map just as there was no way Shinji could actually hold down a car during an N2 explosion. Misato was beginning to get a mindgrain from dealing with the Third Child. "Look Shinji... just follow me, I'll get us there."

Misato was studying the map so closely that she failed to notice Shinji gently holding her hand and using his other hand to place two fingers on his forehead. Closing his eyes, Shinji concentrated on one of the last techniques Papa Goku taught him: Instant Transmission.

Misato was so engrossed with the complicated map that she actually failed to notice suddenly teleport the both of them over eight hundred yards away within the blink of an eye. They both appeared right in front of the main doorway to the storage chamber.

"We're here!" Shinji chirped.

"HUH?" Misato dropped the map in shock. She looked around and they were indeed where they needed to be though how they got there was something that would haunt Misato for the rest of her life. Deciding not to be taken for a fool, she chose to bluff against her confusion. "Of course we're here! You see Shinji, I knew where I was going all the time. It just took us a bit to get here. So let me just call Ritsuko and ask her to meet us here and then we'll go see your father."

Shinji's lips twisted into a demonic grin. "I can hardly wait."

**XXXXXXX**

Being far more familiar with the maze like corridors of NERV, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi did not need an Instant Transmission to reach the main elevator where her old friend and the Third Child were waiting. She was quite amazed to learn that the beautiful young captain was able to meet up with her at the desired location. She grinned once she saw her old college friend. "Well well well, so you were actually able to get here without getting lost, huh? I guess even I can be proven wrong occasionally."

"Ha ha, Ritsuko. You're such a riot." Misato replied sarcastically before all three of them stepped into the elevator and began their assent upward to the Eva storage chamber.

Ritsuko glanced at Shinji who looked a little silly dressed in a blue three piece suit during such a global crisis. "So is this the boy?"

Misato nodded. "Umm, right. According to the Marduke report, he's the Third Child."

Ritsuko smiled while examine Shinji with a careful eye. "Hmm, please to meet you."

"You too ma'am." Shinji smiled at the pretty lady. For a second, he'd picture just how happy Uncle Yamcha would be here with so many nice women. Why, he wouldn't want to leave this place even if nasty old Frieza escaped from Hell to attack here.

Misato smiled at Shinji's joyous comment to Ritsuko. "I have never in my life met someone who was so the opposite of their father. Whoever he sent you to live with raised you well."

Ritsuko nodded. "Yes, according to Commander Ikari, he sent Shinji to live with a man named Goku who was the father of someone he met in college. A fellow by the name of Gohan recommended his own father to the commander if I remember correctly."

"That's right!" Shinji chirped. "Big Brother Gohan introduced me to Papa Goku and I sure had fun learning martial arts from him and his friends. That funny King Kai cracks me up to this day!" Shinji had a long grin on his face that stretched from ear-to-ear. "And he took me to train in some really weird places. Personally, I liked planet Yardit the best. Those were the only guys who could eat as much as Papa Goku and me. Plus they had really stylin' clothes with the red pants, white pirate shirt and black armor. You should have seen it, you two. Everyone on the planet wore the same thing!" He snapped his fingers. "Oh and Miss Misato, is it time for my CAT scan yet?"

Ritsuko just stared at Shinji like he was as crazy as Hannibal Lector.

Misato deadpanned. "Not yet Shinji." She noticed her friend just staring at Shinji with a strange sense of horror suddenly forming on her face.

"...oh my god...he's insane..." She stared at Misato as if hoping the purple haired woman would suddenly scream 'just kidding' and reveal the whole thing to be nothing but a joke. Misato did not do this, much to the chagrin of Dr. Akagi.

Misato decided to change the subject due to Ritsuko looking more and more like she was about to commit suicide. "So, uh... how is Unit One coming?"

Still staring at Shinji like he was as frightening as any Angel, Ritsuko answered. "It's... currently under refrigeration using the 'B Type' equipment."

"Does it really work? It's never worked before, has it?"

"The possibility of activation is 0.0000000001%. Around here, we call it the 'O-9' system," Ritsuko answered.

"Does that mean it doesn't work?" Misato continued with her questioning.

"Don't be insulting? It's '0-9' as in 'oni', a Japanese devil."

"Wiggy!" exclaimed Shinji.

"Weeelllll, anyway I suppose it is a bit late to be saying 'sorry it doesn't work'." Misato chuckled.

Suddenly the platform they were on stopped moving and the lights were turned off. Shinji would have preformed a 'Solar Flare' that he learned from Uncle Tien but there was no sunlight present. "Is the light going to turn back on soon, Miss Misato?" Right than the light came back on and Shinji came face to face with a face. "Hey cool, model action figures! Tell me, is it made out of plastic or painted metal?"

To Ritsuko's growing horror, she knew Shinji wasn't joking and the very thought that he was in charge of protecting mankind was very frustrating. "NO IT'S NOT, YOU NINNY! THIS IS MAN'S ULTIMATE FIGHTING MACHINE, THE SYNTHETIC LIFE FORM KNOWN AS EVANGELION UNIT ONE! THIS IS HUMANITY'S LAST HOPE YOU FRUITCAKE!"

Shinji was surprise at Ritsuko's tone and stressed out look. "Wow... you're just like Mama Chi Chi right now. So I take it you and my... father built this giant toy?"

"Correct," came a voice from above. Shinji looked up and was surprise to see his father gaze down upon him from above. "It's been a long time," there wasn't a hint of emotion in his voice.

Shinji looked up at his father with a dead expression on his face. For years he's been thinking about the day he would meet the man that sent him away so many years ago. His right hand, the hand he used most often to blast evil monsters, started twitching. It was impossible not to act out the floodgate of emotions in his heart. Unable to fight the dark urge in his heart, Shinji raised that hand, pointed it at his father, focused all of his strength... and waved.

"HI PAPA-SAN! YOU'RE LITTLE LOST BOY HAS FINALY COME HOME AND I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW GREAT IT IS TO BE BACK! SO WHEN WILL I BE MOVING IN HUH? DON'T WORRY 'BOUT FOOD, PAPA-SAN! I'M A GREAT COOK! PAPA GOKU ALWAYS SAID SO ON OUR TRAINING TRIPS AND I CAN'T WAIT TO COOK YOU UP SOME OF MY KILLER TRAINING MEALS!"

"..." said Gendo. For the first time in his life, Gendo Ikari was totally stupefied. It took all of Gendo's will not to scream in terror at what he was actually seeing.

"Awwww, look at him. He's so happy to see me he can't even speak," Shinji sighed.

Ritsuko was flabbergasted. "Y-You're... not angry? At him, I mean."

"Goodness gracious, no! Why would I be?"

Ritsuko was having a harder and harder time taking this kid for real. "Because he abandoned you when you're mother died?"

Shinji couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Of course not! Why if Papa-san didn't leave me with Papa Goku, I would never have had so much fun learning martial arts and going to different places to fight." Shinji felt warm inside as he recalled training at such strange training grounds such as Other World, Namek, Yardit, and that time he went to Hell when there was a prison riot down there. He'll never forget the look on Mr. Vegeta and Uncle Piccolo's faces when he beat all four members of the Ginyu Force all by himself. Those poor suckers had no idea what they were up against when he creamed them all with a Kaio Ken times 10!

Gendo finally snapped back to reality at hearing his rather... odd son explain why he adored him so. "We're moving out."

"Moving out?" gasped Misato in shock. "But Unit Zero is still in cryostasis! Wait a minute! You're gonna use Unit One?" Misato dreaded when she realized the true reason why she brought Shinji here.

"There's no other way," reassured Ritsuko to her worried friend.

"Now wait! Rei can't do it yet can she? We don't have a pilot!" cried Misato. She was hoping that poor Shinji wouldn't be the one. There was no way that poor child could possible defend the Earth against the demonic Angels. Misato's ears twitched. Were two kids just laughing at her?

"We've just received one," answered Ritsuko who was not hearing any laughter.

"You're serious." Misato was not happy.

Ritsuko looked at the Shinji. "Shinji Ikari, you will pilot it."

"Huh?" Shinji was confused.

"Even Rei Ayanami took seven months to synchronize with her Eva! It's impossible for him to do it! He just got here!" Misato was doing her best to persuade her old friend from this idea.

Shinji finally had enough. "Pilot what?" Both the woman looked at Shinji who looked very confused. "What are two talking about? It's really not a good idea to waste time talking about a toy when there's an evil alien outside."

Ritsuko couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Weren't you paying attention?"

"Yeah, but..." Shinji scratched the back of his head. "You two are just blabbering. So what am I suppose to pilot now?"

"UNIT ONE!" Ritsuko shrieked.

"Umm... why do I wanna do that?"

"TO FIGHT THE ANGEL! Ritsuko definitely wasn't having a good day.

"Ooooohhhhhh," Shinji finally got it. "You want me to take care of that mean old alien. No prob, leave everything to me!" Shinji did an about-face and marched towards the exit which caused the already stressed out Ritsuko to storm up to him.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

Shinji rolled his eyes. "To fight the alien, duh."

Ritsuko had to resist the urge to strangle Shinji. "AND JUST WHAT WILL YOU DO, HUH? JUST PUNCH HIM!"

Shinji was offended. "Oh course not!" He huffed. "I plan to kick him a couple of times too! Why, I've never had my skills as a martial artist so insulted before."

Ritsuko's jaw dropped. He could not be serious. "YOU PLAN FIGHT IT HAND-TO-HAND?!"

"Oh course I do," Shinji scoffed at the doctor's foolishness. "What were you going to have me do? Use that robot over there?"

"YES YOU NITWIT! YOU HAVE TO USE THE WEAPON I HELPED BUILD WITH YOUR FATHER!"

Seeing that Ritsuko was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, Shinji looked up at his father. "Papa-san, do you know you have such nutty people working for you?"

"NUTTY PEOPLE?! NUTTY PEOPLE?! THIS COMING FROM A PSYCHO KID WHO WANTS TO FIGHT AN ANGEL BARE HANDED?! I'M A DOCTOR YOU FREAK! I HAVE A PH.D IN MICROBIOLOGY!"

Up in the command center, Maya Ibuki shrank into her seat. Her beloved sempai had finally snapped!

Shinji frowned as a thought occurred to him about Dr. Akagi. "Waitaminute... a brilliant scientist... wears a lab coat... builds weapons have mass destruction... and gets angry when I fight evil... of course, it all makes sense to me... YOU'RE A MAD SCIENTIST!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU PSYCHO?"

Shinji raised his fist and assumed a full righteous declaration pose. "It's all obvious to me now! Building giant androids that can level a planet, keeping me from fighting an evil alien, and let's not forget your insanity! You're a mad scientist just like Dr. Wheelo and Gero! Why, I bet you even have horrible experiments going on in the basement where you probably create bio-weapons that seek to destroy the Earth!"

"..." Ritsuko couldn't even respond to that. She actually paled when Shinji just blurted out everything she and Gendo were doing deep within the vales of Terminal Dogma.

Misato walked up to her old friend and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Listen Shinji, Ritsuko walks for NERV and therefore only cares about protecting the planet. Take my word for it, she's not mad scientist." Misato smiled warmly. "She's a bit bitchy at times but deep down, she's a saint. She'd never do anything to start a Third Impact."

"Gaak!" Ritsuko choked. Coming from her oldest friend, that one hit pretty close to the heart.

Watching his son from above, Gendo finally had enough and chose to play on his child's allusions. "Third Child, get in Unit One and protect the world."

Shinji looked up at his father and gave him the thumbs-up. "Don't worry Papa-san, I'm on the job!" So finally, much to the relief of Ritsuko and Misato, Shinji was placed in Unit One.

When the cockpit filled up with LCL, Shinji was kind of surprise but quickly relaxed when Misato told him not to worry since the LCL was oxygenated. Gendo didn't know it but if she hadn't calmed Shinji down, all of Unit One would have destroyed with a single energy blast that was more than capable of blowing up the moon. With the danger of a panicked Shinji over, the bridge bunnies went to work.

"Connecting main power."

"Secondary nerve connections established. It's gonna work just fine."

Ritsuko was studying the controls, still angry. "Bloody little psycho, call me nutty will he! So tell me Maya, what's the little freak's synch rating?"

"Synchronization at... my god." Maya looked at the computer and gasped.

"What is it? Is it too low?" Ritsuko smiled hopefully. She'd love to put the brat in his place.

"98%" finished Maya, astonished.

Ritsuko's jaw dropped. "That's... not possible... There is just no way... it can be that high." She reached for a microphone. "Shinji! Where did you learn such... concentration at? You're in near perfect sync with Unit One!" Ritsuko was so in awe of Shinji's syncing skills that she actually forgot her anger.

Shinji had a gentle smile as he recalled the pleasant memories. "I learned how to concentrate with so much power around me when that funny King Kai was training me. He said that the secret of his techniques were that one would have to be in sync with the entire world and their own self. This is how I can call up the energy for the Spirit Bomb and control the power of the Kaio Ken."

On the other side of the monitor, Ritsuko and Maya were rather shocked by Shinji's little story time. Misato was chuckling as she recalled how Shinji acted in the car. "That's... really funny Shinji. You know what? How about after you beat the Angel, you'll go get that CAT scan I've been talking about?"

"RIGHTO MISS MISATO!" Shinji gave the beautiful woman the thumbs-up. "Don't worry, I think I've got this thing already figured out! Well, off to the battle!"

Misato smiled at Shinji's confidence. Who knows, they just might be able to pull this off. So she began the launching sequence for Unit One. "ALRIGHT SHINJI!"

Shinji looked up and saw a hatch that lead outside. It was the perfect entrance for him to take.

"EVANGELION!"

Working with the Eva, Shinji found that just by thinking he could bend his knees.

"UNIT ONE!"

Shinji just gave an order which caused Unit One to do the unthinkable: He jumped.

*RUMP*whish*KA-TUNK*

Maya's jaw dropped. "UNIT ONE JUST LEAPT UP THE FREAKIN' TUNNLE! BY ALL THAT IS HOLY, HE ACTUALLY JUMPED UP THE BLOODY LAUNCH PAD! THAT TUNNLE IS OVER A MILE LONG! HE JUST JUMPED A FREAKIN' MILE!"

"...launch..." Misato whispered. She'd seen an Eva move before but never in her life had she seen one jump a mile straight up before.

Up on the streets of Tokyo III, the evil Third Angel was closing in but in front of him was the purple goliath known as Unit One. Deep inside the robot, Shinji glared at his foe. Focusing his energy to be perfectly in sync with the Evangelion. Ready for the battle, Shinji leapt in front of the Angel... and posed!

"Alright you evil alien who seeks the Earth's destruction, this is the day your nightmare ends!" The Eva began going through a series of sentai poses. "With the power of righteousness and the skill of the art, I will put your evil darkness to an end! For I am Z-Warrior In Training Shinji Ikari!"

Misato head fell into her hands.

Shinji now had the Eva do the 'V' sign with each of its hands. It appear that Shinji received some combat lessons from Little Brother Goten and Cousin Trunks. "LET'S GO!"

The Angel charged forward to tackle Unit One. Unit One just stood still as the Angel got closer and closer. Sachiel extended its arms, hoping to strangle Unit One just as they collided. To a messenger of God, this was going to be a quick easy match.

Too bad for him, that's when Shinji powered up and sent the Eva into a state not unlike Bruce Banner totally Hulk out.

Unit One grabbed the Angel in midair and SLAMMED it into the ground. Hard. Sachiel was embedded a full thirty feet into the streets. Next Shinji lifted the monstrous Angel (who now looked like a run over rat) and tossed him into the air like he was a volleyball.

"Here's one of Goten's favorites! Volleyball Spike O' Doom!" Unit One suddenly leapt over twelve hundred feet into the air and (much to the horror and awe of the bridge crew) spiked the Angel where it embedded fifty feet into the ground. Once the Eva landed, it pulled the Angel out and while it held it in its hands, proceeded to kick the crap out of it with hundreds of kicks in seconds (picture Chun Li's Hundred Kicks attack).

By this time, poor Sachiel wanted to run like hell.

Maya gasped at the incoming information. "The Angel appears to be retreating!"

Makoto nodded. "The Angel is diverting its energy to rejuvenate its injured legs. The most logical reason for this would be so it would run away."

Fuyutsuki had quite a difficult time understanding this. *blink*blink*blink* "I... he... wow. Yui's child is quite different than from what I remember."

Before Gendo could respond, Aoba ears twitched. "Sir! The pilot is requesting to send a transmition. He might be in trouble!"

Gendo glanced over his stepple fingers. "Doubtful considering how much damage he's inflicted upon the Angel. Still he could have a question how to use the Eva. Patch it through." The man said emotionlessly; definitely without the feelings of a father who sent his son out to a fight where he could die.

Shinji's face showed up on every screen. "Hi Papa-san! Don't worry, I've got the evil alien right where I want him!"

Gendo nodded. "Continue fighting; report back to base once the Angel has been dealt with."

Shinji gave him the thumbs-up. "Righto Papa-san!" He smiled as he started pummeling the Angel into an even worst bloody pulp. "Isn't this nice? You leading the army against the dark forces, me fighting them; this is just like I've always thought it would be! I can't wait to move back in with ya' and together we'll protect our beloved Earth!"

"You are NOT moving in with me," Gendo spoke harshly.

"…what?"

"I repeat, you are NOT moving in with me. I will have you assigned to separate housing as are our other pilots."

"Papa-san doesn't want to live with me?" Shinji was asking more himself than his father.

"No, I don't." Gendo coldly responded.

"Papa-san… HOW COULD YOU!" Shinji stopped the Eva from pounding the Angel and proceeded to walk back towards the base. The entire bridge crew's collective jaws dropped as the say the gigantic Unit One squat down and stare at their main camera. "You're just like Aunty Bulma says you are! She always said you never wanted me as a son but I never believed her till now!"

Gendo glared (stare number 12). "I have no need of a son, just a pilot. Now fight the Angel."

"No way Papa-san! You're mean!" Shinji willed the Eva to stand about face and walk away. "Fight the alien yourself! I'm leaving!"

Maya paled. Ritsuko ran up to a microphone to shout orders. "Listen you fruit cake! You're the commander's son and you have to obey his orders!"

"If I'm his son, he's should treat me like one!" Shinji countered, still walking away. "Since he's not, I'm leaving! Bye bye, Papa-san! Hope you can take care of the mean old alien!"

Maya looked into a monitor and saw the Angel rejuvenate enough to continue fighting. It spared a short glance at the retreating Eva, praised God, and started heading towards to Central Dogma. "Commander! The Angel is back on route. It's predicted heading is..." Maya looked closer at the printouts. "RIGHT HERE! IT'S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR US!"

Misato pushed Ritsuko away and grabbed the microphone. "Listen Shinji, it doesn't matter what your father's said, it's still your duty to kill the Angel so just do it!"

"No way! Papa-san's a jerk! Let him fight the big bad monster himself!"

"…" said Misato to the blunt statement. She closed the line and looked at her commander. "Sir… talk to your kid and try to get the little loony to fight. The Angel will be here in seconds. Just let him move in with you!" she pleaded.

"No." Gendo answered. Right than the base rocked with an explosion.

Aoba gasped. "The Angel has just penetrated the first layer of defense!"

"Ikari…" Fuyustuki warned. "Be nice to your son."

Gendo sighed. "Re-establish communications between Unit One." Makoto did so. "Pilot Ikari..." Gendo took a deep breath. Dealing with a frustrated child was one thing but dealing with one piloting a five hundred foot robot was a pain in the ass. "I have too many duties and having you move in… with me… would be an inconvenience." Another shield-layer went down. Gendo got desperate. "Just tell me, what will it take for you to fight the Angel?" A loud rumble sounded the third shield being smashed.

Shinji took only a second to think up a desire. "Take me to the circus."

"...what?" said Gendo this time.

"There's a circus in Tokyo III, Papa-san; I wanna go to it!"

"DENIED! Gendo snapped. He was about to threaten Shinji with a life long jail sentence when Fuyustuki stopped him.

"Ikari… just take your kid to the circus."

Gendo growled something unmentionable (remember: This is a PG13 fic) and nodded. "Very well. Once the Angel is defeated, I will take you… to the circus."

"YATTA!" Shinji cheered. "That's great Papa-san! Let me just take care of that nasty old alien and then… we're off!" Shinji had the Eva turn around and faced the Angel. "ROUND TWO UGLY! HEYAAA!"

If Sachiel was scared before, it was petrified now.

*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAMITY*WHAM*BOOOOOOM!"

"JESUS CHRIST!"

Everyone in the command room blinked and looked at Maya.

"Tee hee," Maya shamefully giggled. "Was that me?"

Aoba groaned. "Mission accomplish sir. The Angel has successfully detonated and is no longer a threat."

Makoto whistled. "That was quite an explosion. Hey! Is it just me or did it seem like the Angel was smiling just as it committed suicide?"

Aoba nodded. "Looks that way."

Misato shrugged. "Anyway, the Angel is defeated. Inform the pilot to head back to the desired coordinates." Misato glared. "One he gets out, have some Section 2 agents 'escort' him to a holding cell. I need to have some words with him."

Gendo nodded. "Excellent idea." He got up to leave. "Fuyutsuki, I leave this to you."

"Of course you will. I take it you're going to get ready for taking Shinji to the circus? I hear they have a tiger act that will knock your socks off." Fuyutsuki was grinning ear-to-ear.

"Of course not!" Gendo snap back. "If the pilot can't follow orders, I'll have him locked in NERV prison between Angel attacks for the rest of his life."

"Ikari… he's your son. It could years before the Angels stop coming. You'll really lock him up with rapists and murderers?" Fuyutsuki said softly.

"If necessary," Gendo said coldly.

Everyone in the command center fell silent at their commander's cold words. After the commander left, there was a straining silence.

Misato was the first to speak up. "He'll really do it. Gendo would actually lock his son up forever." She turned to Fuyutsuki. "Sir! I wish to request that the Third Child to live with me!"

"You wanna live with that little loony?!" Ritsuko panicked.

Misato looked at her, dead serious. "If the choice is either a jail cell or my home, I don't see that Shinji has a choice."

Fuyutsuki nodded. "Very well, Capt. Katsuragi. I'll have to run this by the commander but if you can keep him… under control, I see no reason why Gendo would stop you." As the aged gentleman left, he passed by Misato and quietly whispered to her. "…thank you for watching him… Yui would have appreciated it."

After he left, the bridge crew went to work making arrangements.

**XXXXXXX**

With her large rank, it took Misato only ten minutes to receive clearance to have Shinji live with her. It had only taken one phone call to the central office and the offer was approved. Currently the two were in an elevator making its way to the entrance chamber of Unit One where Shinji would most likely be under arrest from Section 2. Ritsuko was still persuading her old friend to drop the idea.

"Damnit Misato! You can't even take care of your pet penguin! What makes you think you can manage that bloody nutjob?!"

*sigh* "Listen Rits, Shinji obviously has some difficulties with life. If I'm right, he might be mentally handicapped."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "I don't think so. Considering just how much of an ass kicking he gave the Third Angel, I think it's safe to say he's quite mentally proficient. If anything, he probably just suffers from delusions of false grandeur. Best medicine I say would be a good dose of reality. He really should be locked in a cell for a few days just to make him more obedient."

Misato stared at her old friend for a long moment. "That's cold, Ritsuko. He's just a child. True. He may have had an odd life with this Goku person but I still don't think it's necessary to be so rough with him. I think just some hard words from a couple Section 2 agents will calm him down."

Ritsuko sighed. "Yes, you may be right. Gendo ordered some agents to arrest Shinji once he disembarked from Unit One. They'll straighten that brat out." Ritsuko said the last part with an evil smile on her lips.

Right than the elevator doors opened and the two ladies of NERV stepped out and their jaws dropped.

"WHAT THE FLYING F*K IS THIS?!" Ritsuko yelled.

All around the storage chamber were dozens of unconscious Section 2 agents. Each one was… damaged in a different fashion. Several had their arms twisted in uncomfortable positions while others were put in positions that would have killed a contortionist. All in all, there were over twenty Section 2 agents that were in severe pain scattered around the Eva.

Misato was shocked. "By Akagi's hair dye!"

"WHA-AT?!" screamed Ritsuko.

Misato ignored before pulling out her side-arm and taking a ready stance. She slowly scout the room out. Every agent, all twenty of them, were sprawled all over the chamber. Each one had passed out from pain. "Ritsuko! Get over to the center intercom and call in some help! Doesn't look like these guys were knocked out by falling debris."

The doctor nodded as she sprinted over to the system that that on top of a teacher style desk just a few feet away. There was an creepy silence in the chamber. The only sounds heard were the quickening footsteps from Ritsuko's high heels. She approached the desk. On the metal top was a phone that was connected to every office in NERV. Just as she went to push the button, a hand shot out from beneath the desk and grabbed her.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Ritsuko jumped straight up, and nearly out of her tight mini-skirt. She shook the grip free and scrambled several feet back. Instantly Misato dove for the table, ready to shoot her friend's assaulter.

Which group was it, she wondered. The Taliban? Shadowlaw? The UN? MICROSOFT?!

Nope! It was a Section 2 agent hiding under the desk and from Misato's view, could tell that the man had wet himself.

"…is he gone?" the quivering NERV agent crawled out from under the desk.

Misato could tell that the man was terrified. "Who? Who did this?"

"…Shinji did this… he beat us up reaaallll bad…"

Ritsuko's opened her mouth, than shut it, than opened it again. "Huh?"

"…he was reaaaallly angry... yes he was… yes he was… he was really angry…"

Misato could feel a mindgrain coming on. "Okay. Start from the beginning and tell us what happen."

"W-W-Well… Commander Ikari instructed us to have the First Child arrested once he left the cockpit of the Eva. We were just FOLLOWING orders! A-Anyway… once the… that devil got out of the Eva, over a dozen agents approached him. Lt. Kenny told the boy that he was under arrest and he would be placed in solitary confinement for a term. The boy said he couldn't go with us because his… 'papa-san' was taking him to the circus. Shinji was so confused; he kept saying that our boss was going to take him to the circus. Right than, Corp. Cartman grinned and said we were going to lock him up forever; that he would never see his father again. And than… and than…" The NERV agent begun shaken terribly. "Shinji got mad… really, really mad! I swear to GOD Captain Katsuragi, we had no idea! WE WERE JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS!"

Mass blinking from the two lovely ladies. Ritsuko looked quite disgusted. "Are you telling me that little psycho beat the crap out of twenty fully trained Section 2 agents?"

"IN SECONDS! HE'S A MONSTER! A MONSTER I SAY!"

Misato groaned. "I can't believe a little boy took out some of NERV's finest. Look, obviously Shinji has had some marital arts training and he wouldn't have flipped out if this Cartman hadn't angered him. I'll have to recommend Cartman for disciplinary action. So where is he?"

The agent, now known as Private Kyle, pointed up. There was confusion on the two ladies' part but they complied and looked straight up. There, over two hundred feet straight up, was Cartman. He was currently lying unconscious on a metal beam that was pressed against his stomach, arms on one side; feet on the other. The man's face was bruised so badly that it would take a full three weeks before he would be able to see again. "Shinji threw him up there."

"Ga-waaaa?" babbled Misato.

"Shinji… threw… Private Cartman up… there…" muttered Ritsuko. She suddenly got quite angry. "Do you take me for a fool, Agent Kyle?"

"N-N-No ma'am," stammered Kyle, obviously still petrified.

Ritsuko glared, somehow looking both cruel and adorable. "You seriously expect me to believe a fourteen year old boy tossed a two hundred pound man over two hundred feet into the air?!"

"…yes…"

Ritsuko stormed up to Kyle. "And do you have any footage of this from the security cameras?"

"Weeelll…" Kyle started twiddled his thumbs. "Due to the Angel attack, all the security cameras for this sector have gone offline with all the explosions and power outages."

Ritsuko growled and grabbed the terrified agent by his lapel. "Do you take me for a fool, Agent Kyle? Do you know what I think? I think Shinji was able to beat a few of you up and somehow escaped while two or three agents nursed their broken noses. So instead of admitting that a little boy took you by surprise, you all made up this false 'Super Shinji' story just to make it look more believable. You're lucky I don't report this… just looking at you disgusts me." Ritsuko glared hatefully at the poor man. "Now get the hell out!"

"Y-Y-Yes ma'am…" Agent Kyle took one last glace around the chamber, remembered all the carnage he saw earlier, and started running like Third Impact.

Misato smirked at Kyle's retreating form. "I guess Shinji really is pretty strong." Suddenly she fell silent as the Shinji's cheerful words from holding down her car came back to her. Along with other things: Wasn't Goku the one who defeated the evil King Piccolo? Also didn't the great Mr. Satan's daughter, Vadel, marry some guy name Gohan? And Gohan was the name that introduced Shinji to Goku! Could it be?! Could Shinji really be that powerful?!

"Naahhhh…" Misato chuckled at the insane thought. Shinji is nothing but a kid who knows a bit of martial arts. "Rits, patch me a line to the commander's office. I want to get his okay to have Shinji move in with me."

Dr. Akagi sighed at her friend's foolish persistence. She asked the central communication office to patch her through to Gendo and the man did so. But Gendo would not answer the phone. After twelve rings, Ritsuko got scared. She reconnected to the communication office. "Patch me through to security! Hello security! Where is Commander Ikari at? What do you mean you don't know?! Just tell me what the last images of him caught on a camera were? SHINJI DID WHAT?!" Ritsuko looked her friend. "They're telling me that Shinji had the commander swung over his shoulder while the brat was skipping down the halls."

Misato had a grin that spoke volumes. "Heh heh heh… I guess Gendo's still taking Shinji to the circus after all."

"This isn't funny Misato!" Ritsuko fumed. "Do you realize that the commander has been kidnapped?! We have to marshal all of Section 2 for a citywide man hunt! The man in charge of protecting the EARTH is missing!"

Suddenly the elevator behind them opened and Kozo Fuyutsuki stepped out. He had heard everything Ritsuko shouted before the elevator doors opened. "I don't think that's necessary, my good doctor. Shinji is just taking the commander to the circus, nothing more. Why, I don't think there is a single evil bone inside Shinji's body."

Ritsuko protested! "BUT!"

"But nothing!" Fuyutsuki snapped back before calming down. "It's just the circus. I really doubt anything bad will happen to him. He has Shinji as his son; what's the worst that can happen?"

Oh, how wrong can one man be.

**XXXXXXX**

Five hours later…

Ritsuko was not happy. For the last two hours, she had been waiting on the command bride hoping for word of their missing commander. She had been tapping her foot in impatient for over ten minutes. The blond doctor was so stressed out, that she actually forbid the entire bridge crew from going home. She had all three of them slouched over their computers typing away. "Where! In! The! World! Is! Gendo! Ikari?!"

"We don't know, Sempai!" whined Maya. "We've been scanning every entrance to the facility and all of NERV's hotlines but there's been no trace for him. We're tired Sempai! We've been doing this for the last five hours!"

"AND YOU'LL DO IT FOR ANOTHER FIVE IF YOU HAVE TO! I WANT MY POOKIE BEAR FOUND!" Ritsuko stormed out of the command bride.

There was a strained silence in the bridge room as all three of the young crew stared at each other.

"Pookie bear?" repeated Aoba and Hyuga together

"Waaaa! I've lost Sempai! And it was to a MAN! DAMN YOU TO HELL, GENDO IKARI! ALL I'VE BEEN HEARING FOR THE LAST FIVE HOURS IS 'WHERE IN THE WORLD IS GENDO IKAIR?' WELL, I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHERE IN THE WORLD IS GENDO IKARI!"

Right on cue, Aoba's started smiling. He begun singing. "Where in the world is… Gendo Ikari?"

Hyuga followed on cue. "Where in the world is… Gendo Ikari?"

Aoba jumped out of his chair and started to air guitar. "Where in the world is… Gendo Ikari?"

Soon both men were dancing around the room doing their best Rockefella impersonation.

Maya didn't care though. She stormed out of the command center swearing untold vengeance upon Gendo. She would make Gendo pay, she swears it!

While Maya plotted revenge and Aoba & Hyuga continued singing, Ritsuko was becoming angrier. She was on the main walkway leading to the command bridge. It was a narrow room that only permitted people to move in single file. She was impatiently tapping her heels on the ground. "DAMNIT! Shinji, I swear to GOD if you've hurt my pookie bear, I will make your live so miserable, you'll want to suicide!"

"Getting a little emotional, aren't you Rits?" said Misato who was walking up the narrow pathway.

"I should be!" Ritsuko snapped. "It's been over five hours now! We don't have a damn clue when that screwball will be back!"

"Well this should make you a little happy. I just received word from the central gate that Shinji had just entered and is on his way here."

"About damn time!" Suddenly Ritsuko gasped and grabbed her old friend by the shoulders and started shaking her. "What about my pookie bear?!"

Misato stifled a giggle. "According to the front gate, Shinji was with something but… well… this is little strange… but according to the main sentry, Shinji was pushing a wheelchair. The sentry couldn't tell who was in the chair but there was someone there."

"Wheelchair? Wheelchair?! WHEELCHAIR?! WHAT HAS THAT MANIAC DONE TO MY GENDO?!"

Misato put on a brave front but it hard not to run away screaming from an irate Akagi. "Now calm down, Ritsuko. I'm sure nothing has happen to the commander. Though I have to admit, I don't have a darn clue what the deal with the wheelchair is. Guess we'll have to ask Shinji once he arrives."

Ritsuko was growing more enraged at the prospect of waiting even longer. "And when will THAT be?!"

"Weellll…" Misato scratched her head. "It takes a normal person about twenty minutes to make it here from the main gate. Now if there is one thing I'm sure of, Shinji is not normal."

**XXXXXXX**

Cookie: Boy, isn't that an understatement.

Creme: Hush, Cookie.

**XXXXXXX**

Misato continued. "Lord knows when he'll make it here. Could be any second."

Right than, the two ladies' ears twitched with something that sounded like a stampede. Misato looked behind her and saw a dust cloud moving towards her.

"STAMPEDE!" Misato clung to the railing just as Shinji pushed a wheelchair at about mach two. He plowed into Ritsuko, she went flying a la Agent D on Project A-Ko (The original, not the lame sequels!)

"Out of my way!" Shinji shouted as he continued running pass the shocked Misato.

Ritsuko landed. Too bad for her, she landed on her curvy derrière. Hard. She clutched her rear. "My ass! My ass! Oh, dear god in Heaven! I broke my ass!" Summoning all the reserves of her bitch power, Ritsuko mustered the strength to stand up and charged after that dust cloud.

Misato, becoming more and more amused with Ritsuko, followed after her. She didn't have to rush since Ritsuko couldn't stop limping with her broken butt bone. Together they made it to the command office. In there was Shinji standing behind a wheelchair where their was obviously a man in. Aoba and Hyuga were both speechless staring at the man in the wheelchair. Fortunately Maya was away. She had used the elevator to leave the bridge so she could begin her hunt for the man she called 'the enemy of all women'.

Shinji was panting a little heavily. "Whew! We made it Papa-san!" Shinji patted the wheelchaired man on the back. "I told you we'd make it back here before 2:00 am."

Misato took a step forward. "Uh… Shinji?" Shinji, still in his nice three piece suit, ears perked and he looked at her. "What's this about?"

"Oh, nothing much!" Shinji placed his hands around the back of his neck, the universal sign for cool and calm. "Once I dragged Papa-san to the circus, he said I had to get him back by two so he could report to his bosses. It was a bit of trouble getting back here, but I did it!" Shinji wheeled the wheelchair around so everyone could get a good look.

"OH GOD! WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU POOKIE BEAR?!" Ritsuko shouted as she and the others looked their commander up and down. Whatever had happened to the commander had shocked him so much that he was in a comatose state. Gendo's once proud bear was gone. In its place was one long second degree burn that that covered his chin. Both his eyes were blacken which matched the dark blue bruises that covered his entire face. There were also several cuts on his face that were stitched up. Around his waist and crotch were heavy padding as well as numerous bandaging. Than there was his right leg… "OH MY GOD! HE'S MISSING HIS LEG! HE'S ACTUALLY MISSING HIS LEG!"

"…" said Gendo.

"Y-Yeah!" Shinji started blushing at the sight of his father's missing right leg that ended several inches above the knee. "You see… once we got to the circus, Papa-san was in a real hurry to get away. He said something about this being a waste of his time. He also has to go to the bathroom a lot. I guess Papa-san gets lost really easily cuz I kept finding him around the exit so I ended up having to drag him back. After the twelfth time he made the mistake of going to an exit instead of the bathroom, don't worry I found him and dragged him back, Papa-san got reeeeaaaallllyyy agitated. I guess he really was scared of clowns or something so he just snapped and tried to make a break for it by running across the circus ground. Too bad he accidentally ran into the fire breather."

At this time, Shinji gestured to the burns around Gendo's now beardless chin.

"…" said Gendo.

Shinji threw his chest out proudly. "Well once I saw my Papa-san in danger, I leapt out of the bleachers and landed next to him!" Shinji started smiling. "Guess what, Miss Misato? The owner of the circus was so impressed by my jumping skills, he offered me a job! Turned him down, I have too much stuff to do here in Tokyo III than go on the road around Japan but it sure would have been cool!" Shinji shrugged. "Anyway! Since Papa-san was on fire, I pushed him to the ground so he could roll it out. But I think I pushed him too hard cause Papa-san suddenly started screaming he had broken ribs. Good news is that I put the fire out!" Shinji suddenly started speaking quietly. "…but I guess he was so shocked over his burns that he accidentally knocked himself into the knife-thrower and…"

Shinji pointed to all the cuts on Gendo's face.

"…" said Gendo.

Shinji continued. "Now by this time, Papa-san started getting really angry at me. He kept screaming for me to go away and stop following him. He was so angry that he was going to leave through this wooden door that he made me promise not to stop him from entering it." Shinji's shoulders dropped. "So I promised and let him enter the door. Too bad it was the door to the tiger cage…" Shinji threw his chest out. "But don't worry Miss Misato, I got Papa-san out of there before the tiger ate both legs!"

"…" said Gendo.

"What…" Misato began slowly, "happened next?"

"Well," Shinji began. "Once I got Papa-san out of the tiger cage, I swung him over my shoulder and headed straight to a hospital. The nice doctors took him right to surgery. It was too bad that while I was fishing my dad out of the cage, the tiger went and ate his leg. But…" Shinji started to shrink under the numerous stares. "Weeelllll… it turns out that the doctors… made a mistake."

"…" said Gendo.

"What… kind of mistake?" Aoba said slowly. This whole thing was just too surreal.

Shinji took a second to blush. What he was about to say next would really embarrass Papa-san. "It turns out that there was a man at that very same hospital named Gendough Ikari. Isn't that cool, Miss Misato?" Shinji squealed. "It's just like cookie dough! Any-way! Turns out this Gen-dough was there for a sex change operation, I guess doesn't like being a man, and the doctors accidentally mixed up which Gendos were which. You can guess what happened next."

"…" said Gendo.

Shinji turned to face everywhere, who all except Ritsuko were stifling giggles. The doctor was officially horrified. "Don't worry, those goofy doctors gave Papa-san this nice plastic pee-bag that fits into his jacket pocket. Just don't break it, it smells really bad."

"…" said Gendo.

Ritsuko blinked at Shinji's story time. "And… than you brought… Gendo back here?" she asked hopefully.

"Weeellll…" Shinji shuffled his feet. "After we both left the hospital, this is where we got the wheelchair from, Papa-san wouldn't stop talking to himself. I think he kept muttering 'the boy must die…the die must die…' over and over again. At that time, a policeman heard my father saying that and came over to ask if I was all right. I said sure but…" Shinji paused trying to find the right words. "Papa-san did a bad thing. He grabbed the policeman's gun and aimed it at me. I guess Papa-san must have been a little crazy with his missing wiener and leg. But before Papa-san could fire, that old policeman and his partner tackled Papa-san and knocked him out of his wheelchair. Those mean ol' policemen took out their batons and really beat papa real bad. They kept saying something about giving him a 'Rodney King level beating on his punk ass'."

"…" said Gendo.

Shinji glanced at Misato. "Miss Misato, do you know what that is?"

Before Misato could answer, Ritsuko just snapped and grabbed Shinji by the shoulders, shaking him. "Why didn't you help him?! You took out over a dozen Section 2 agents! Couldn't you handle TWO cops?!"

"Sure I could," Shinji shrugged. Two cops against him? No prob! Two policemen wouldn't offer much of a problem to a guy who was able to handle Level Four Frieza with a Spirit Bomb in Hell. "But policemen are good people. Mama Chi Chi always said so and as a Z-Warrior In Training, it wouldn't do for me to fight the forces of good!" Shinji de-puffed his chest so he could continue. "It sure took me a long time to get Papa-san out of jail, nearly two whole hours! It turns out my papa made the mistake of biting one of the booking cops so they put him in a cell with a big burly repeated male rapist for an hour. He hasn't said anything since I got him out." Shinji looked at his father. "Right, Papa-san?"

"…" said Gendo.

"Oh my god," Hyuga said. His lips starting to turn into a smile. He couldn't wait to tell his friend at the 'Tokyo Enquirer' about this.

Shinji nodded in agreement with Hyuga. What was happening to his father was a travesty! "After I showed the cops my papa's NERV I.D., they let him go. After that, I brought him here." Shinji patted his father's bruised shoulder. "Are you happy Papa-san? I got you back here in time!"

"…" said Gendo.

Misato took a step back. This was just too funny. "So… Shinji, ready to move in with me?"

Shinji blinked. "With you?" He looked at his father who still had a glazed look. "Is this all right Papa-san?"

"…" said Gendo.

Misato smiled. "Don't worry Shinji. I'm sure after his trip to the circus, your father won't mind at all if you live with me." Misato's stomach rumbled quietly. "I'm a little hungry Shinji. How about we go eat?

Shinji liked this idea. "That sounds great, Miss Misato!" Shinji gave his father a quick hug, which surprisingly didn't break a rib. "Bye bye Pap-san! I'm off to Miss Misato's place. I'll see you tomorrow!" Shinji waved goodbye to his father as he and Misato walked away.

"…" said Gendo.

Ritsuko was more than willing to play Florence Nightingale to her pookie bear but Aoba and Hyuga had to physically force the beautiful doctor out of there. In the shape Gendo was in, any TLC from the doctor would prove fatal. They really didn't care if the old man lived or not but he was the man that signed their paychecks.

Soon Gendo was left all along in the command bridge. The now througherly trashed commander of NERV sat in his wheelchair in the dark command center. Finally the man's eyes twitched ever so slightly and his lips trembled as the man recalled the last five hours he spent with his son. Only four words could possibly define his son.

"…the horror…the horror…"

**XXXXXXX**

*pause*

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Cookie & Creme were on the floor laughing. Creme wiped away some tears. "This is too perfect; Evaball Z forever! This Shinji is awesome! He's got the innocents of Cat Girl Nuku Nuku and the bad luck of Mihoshi. I'm talking about OVA Mihosi, not the bimbo 'Tenchi Universe' one." Creme started smiling. "Anything that bashes Gendo like this is all gold! Tell me, does any of the DBZ crew show up?"

Cookie hit the fast-forward button. "Some of the DBZ cast does indeed show up in this series. Specifically Puar. It turns out that Shinji introduced Yamcha and Launch to each other and the two fell in love. They even have a couple kids together. Since his kids look up to their daddy so much, Yamcha trains even harder and easily surpasses Krillin for the title of 'strongest human on Earth'. Because of this, Puar sees Shinji as her favorite nephew and while Shinji may have forgiven Gendo, she hasn't. So around the Fifth Angel attack, Puar comes to visit Shinji. During the encounter, Puar plots her revenge against Gendo. She shape-shifts into…" Cookie was too shocked to say who Puar changed into.

Creme, however, was not. "YUI?!"

Cookie nodded. "Yep! Turns out Puar turns into an exact copy of Yui just to mess with Gendo's head. She, as Yui, tells Gendo that the only way they'll be together is if he does one simple thing. And all he has to do is… HAVE SEX WITH KENSUKE?! GAHHHH!"

"EWW!" Creme was likewise disgusted. "THAT'S SICK! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT CAT?!"

Cookie took a deep breath so as to settle his stomach. He really wanted to throw up. "Turns out Puar's plan is to get Gendo to offer poor Kensuke a position as a Pilot and all the kid has to do is have sex with him. Gendo was so imbalanced over having his leg and wang lopped off, he does everything 'Yui' tells him to do. And like clockwork, Kensuke tells his parents, who tells the police, who tell the media which informs SEELE. Gendo could have denied the charges except 'Yui' tells him to fess up. Next thing you know, Misato wakes up one day and sees the headlines on the newspaper which reads 'NERV Commander Admits To Soliciting Sex From A Child'. SEELE avoids having Gendo sent to a prison and sends him to a psychiatric hospital for repeated sex offenders despite losing all his goods. Bye bye Gendo."

Creme couldn't get rid of the smiling after seeing Gendo getting what he deserved. "What about Maya? She was beginning to sound like a certain character from Ranma ½ named Ryoga Hibiki."

Cookie fast-forward a bit more and whistled. "Now this is a twist. Maya goes on such a vengeance streak for Gendo that she quits her job at NERV before the Forth Angel strikes so she can hunt him down. Too bad she gets lost just like a true Hibiki. She even brings a backpack and umbrella where ever she goes so she'll have a bed to sleep in and keep from getting wet." Cookie starts laughing. "Heh heh heh! Turns out Maya is Jewish and just like Ryoga, gags at the thought of eating pork."

Creme slapped his knee. "This is great! Maya finally gets a personality!"

"During her 'loooong' journeys, she somehow manages to get to Roshi's island where that golden oldie trains her. The little mayflower manages to learn the Kamehameha technique as well as flying in four months."

Creme whistles as he sees shy little Maya blow up a small mountain. "Not bad. She only has a power level of about 1500 but that makes her pretty nasty to normal humans."

"Yes she is. Turns out during Maya's travels, she learns that SEELE was behind Second Impact from Dende so… whoa! Maya hunts every member of SEELE down and wastes them all before the Tenth Angel attacks!"

*clap*clap*clap* "YOU GO GIRL!" Creme cheered and then he saw what happens to Maya later. "Friggin' awesome! After Maya heads back to Tokyo III around the Tenth Angel fight, she and Shinji hook up together!"

"You just don't see enough Shinji/Maya stories." Cookie had a gentle smile as he saw Shinji and Maya kiss passionately. "Most authors have Maya hook up with Ritsuko. Let's see what happens to the good doctor." Cookie fast-forward to the Twelfth Angel fight.

What Creme sees shocks him to a bold new level. "Neato! Evil Ritsuko."

Cookie whistled. "Turns out with Gendo being put in a mental asylum, Ritsuko finally snaps. Guess without her Ikari beef injections, the doctor finally jumps off the edge. She follows after Dr. Gero's footsteps and dedicates her life to kill Shinji Ikari. The sexy doctor is smart enough to clean up her tracks so no one even knows she's turned evil. Everyone on Earth thinks she just a scientist who only wants to protect humanity." Cookie is impressed with the evil doctor's smooth acting abilities that fool everyone into thinking she is still good. "Ritsuko messes around with the DNA of all the Rei clones hidden in Central Dogma and maxes out all their AT Fields. She than sic' all of them on Shinji at once."

"COOL! It's just like when the 100 Agent Smiths fought Neo in Matrix Reloaded! That was my favorite fight in that movie!" Creme was enjoying this more and more. He loved that flick! "Shinji's being dog piled by dozens of evil Reis." He looked at his old friend with a perverted look. "If this wasn't an action flick, this would make an awesome lemon!"

Cookie nodded. "Yeah, too bad took off all the NC17 stories. The monsters… Anyway, since SEELE's gone, taken out by Ryoga-Maya, and the Angels are no threat, Ritsuko takes center stage as being the number one villain of this series."

Creme liked the idea of Evil Ritsuko. But even his fondness for villains gets confused when he sees said villain acting nicely. "Ritsuko lets Kensuke become the Forth Child?"

Cookie nodded. "Ritsuko lies to new Commander Fuyutsuki and says he's the Forth Child. Touji never forgave Shinji for hurting his sister during the Third Angel even after Shinji gets a Senzu Bean to totally heal her. Kensuke though, becomes Shinji's best friend. But Evil Ritsuko totally manipulates poor Kensuke into her plans. Since the multi-Rei plan fails, Ritsuko purposely gets Kensuke's Eva to absorb him during the Fourteenth Angel attack. During that month where Kensuke's stuck in there, Ritsuko performs an experiment to give Kensuke an S2 organ, making him an Angel once he gets out."

"I don't think that's too bad. I think Kensuke would like having the power of an Angel," Creme made a guess.

Cookie gave a sad sigh. "It is bad for him. Second he gets spit out of the Eva, Ritsuko instantly captures him. The evil doctor keeps Kensuke a prisoner in her lab. There, she does horrible experiments on him. She melts down the Lance of Longinus to make a scalper that can be used to remove Kensuke's S2 organ. This operation instantly kills him."

"Sad," Creme said remorsefully. "Kensuke dies after completeing his dream of becoming a Pilot. Instead of saving the world, his power will be used to destroy it. Tragic. He always was a great character. He shouldn't have gone out like that."

Cookie in full agreement. "Using the S2 organ and genejack techniques with DNA stolen from Kaworu and Rei III, she creates a new male Angel in her secret lab. Not only does she use the S2 organ from Kensuke with Kaworu's phenotype, but she also adds in the DNA of… GENDO?!"

Creme scratches his chin. "Kaworu's power…Rei III's insanity…Gendo's craftiness… This is reminding me of Metroanime's 'Third Labor' fanfic."

"You have no idea how right you are, Creme. Evil Ritsuko hooks this new human-Angel up to a mind-machine and teaches him every known martial arts ever created, just like the Matrix. Ritsuko also uses the machine on the Angel to make this mega-powerhouse into a brilliant military strategist and political manipulator. This causes the Angel to create a new evil personality and becomes a character that we all know about."

Creme whistled. "Wow… The Angel becomes Sephiroth?"

"Yeah. The guy even has the One Winged Angel's arrogance and ego with his attitude of believing he's a superior being." Cookie shakes a little bit. Sephiroth was always a villain he thought was cool. "Ritsuko thinks she totally broke Sephiroth's will with all the experiments, making him her loyal servant and tool against Shinji. She introduces Sephiroth as the Fifth Child, which make everyone wonder why a twenty-one year old man can be called a Child. Ritsuko thus gives slave Sephiroth a high position in NERV."

Creme grins. "Too bad for her, Sephiroth is no one's slave."

Cookie nods. "You got that right! Sephiroth pulls strings behind Ritsuko's back with the UN to get additional funding to clone an army of the first fourteen Angels that only obeys his orders. After killing Ritsuko by dissecting her, Sephiroth decides to take over the world. He clones Leliel, the Twelfth Angel, and uses it to trap every Z-Warrior into its dimensional prison just like it did to canon Shinji. The only two that manages to avoid the trap is Shinji and Maya."

Creme sighed. "So only Maya and Shinji stand between Sephiroth and his Army of Angels in the battle for world domination? Bye-bye planet Earth!"

"It really is an uphill battle for them. Maya has a power lever of 1500 while Shinji has one at 300,000. Not bad except that Sephiroth has more power than Kid Buu. The final fight definitely is going to have more action than lame old 'End of Evangelion'."

Creme started to shake with excitement. DBZ fights are the best! "Man… This is gonna be sweet!" He looked at Cookie. "How does the fight turn out? Does Shinji win?"

Cookie looked over at his old friend, winked, and wagged his finger. "That… is a secret."

"…" said Creme. For a long moment, there was total silence at Creme stared at his friend. "What?"

Cookie hit the 'eject' button and popped the DVD out. "We'll out of time today, folks. I guess we'll have to finish this later. Bye audience."

"Waitaminute! Wait just a friggin' minute here! Whadaya mean 'we'll out of time'?"

Cookie smiled. "This story is at an end. Who knows? One day, we might get the author to do this fic or at least write a sequel but right now, this story is over."

Creme had to resist the urge to strangle Cookie. "Listen you alcoholic! You're gonna tell how the fight between Shinji and Sephiroth ends or I swear to God I will…"

Cookie had a panic look as he faced the audience. "Good night everyone!"

"COOKIE YOU SON OF A-"

**XXXXXXX  
**_**The End  
**_**XXXXXXX**

WDCain Man here folks. Now before you all get angry at me and start writing flames galore, I just wanted to end this fanfic. Who knows? I might one day come back and do a sequel to this fanfic where I write the final show down between Shinji and Sephiroth but it won't be soon. I want to get back to my two non NGE fics, 'The Kingpin of Japan' and 'Green With Evil'. I actually enjoy writing those two stories more than my Eva stuff. I love the Green Goblin and my Ranma Kingpin bad guys so I'll start doing more chapters of them.

Like always, I might not decide to finish this story but if there is someone out there in fanficdom who wants to, just e-mail me at wdcain and I'll let you take over my Evaball Z story. Remember: If you have a good idea for a father, just let me know.

So until next time, read and review my loyal fans! ^_^

ps… I want to take this time to think someone who gave me some great ideas for future NGE Theater stories. Chris Ta gave me a LOT of great ideas for later stories and I just want to take the time right here to give him my thanks. THANKS CHRIS! YOU DA' MAN!


	3. The Dark King Ascends

_**Disclaimer: **_Neon Genesis Evangelion is copyright by Funimation and was created by Studio Gainax animation while Sephiroth belongs to Squaresoft and their awesome Final Fantasy series. All their characters are used without permission. Those characters aren't mine but I did create Cookie and Creme.

Hello people, WDCain Man here. Before I begin the next story for NGE Theater, I would like to extend a hearty 'good luck' to George Leung at gleung4 . He asked for my permission to continue my Evaball Z story and I have given him the thumbs up! It's a great story and I'm sure George can handle it well. Good luck to ya'!

WARNING: This gets a little dark towards the end but there's nothing too bad. I wouldn't call it a lemon fanfic but this story is really pushing the PG13 rating I've given my series here with some dark lime moments and disturbing ideas of 'love'.

**XXXXXXX**

A dark room is shown. Than the lights come on.

"PEACE!" Cookie made the peace sign. "Cookie here."

"And Creme!" Creme popped up next to Cookie. "This is 'NGE Theater', if you haven't bothered to read the bio. Our goal is to show you the baddest of the badass Shinjis out there!"

"It is not!" Cookie shouted. "We show different Shinjis. They don't all have to be badass! DBZ Shinji was awesome! Sure he was powerful but he didn't act out his power! That's what made him cool! We don't need to keep watching 'Violent Shinji' stories like that 'Twisted Genesis' story."

Creme had an insidious smile as he pulled out a DVD. "Well than, good news for you pal. Today's show isn't a violent Shinji. But an EVIL ONE!"

Cookie sighed and sat back in his LazyBoy recliners "…wow…" he said dryly. "Another 'Shinji-being-raised-by-a-villain' story. That's original… Is it as least good villain this time?"

"Oh, yeah." Creme had a nutty look in his eyes. "The bad guy here has all sorts of class and style. We'll going to see a real epic villain here. The guy raising Shinji is…" Creme paused dramatically, not only to keep Cookie in suspense but the audience as well. "Sephiroth!"

"Heeyyyy… I've never seen a story like this before. COOL! POP IT IN!"

Creme was grinning like a maniac as he popped the DVD in and hit play. Creme was so excited that he wasn't even going to spoke a roach. Evil Shinji was something you watch with a clear head.

**XXXXXXX  
**_**NGE Theater**_

_**Today's Story:**_

_**The Dark King Ascends**_

**XXXXXXX**

Life is a pain in the ass and it's all the fault of NERV.

Just ask Touji Suzuhara, the Forth Child. He was currently trapped in the possessed Unit 03 which was now called the Thirteenth Angel.

"ARRHHHHH" screamed Touji. His Eva began rocking under forceful blows. Every time either Rei's Unit 00 or Asuka's Unit 02 struck his contaminated Eva, the entire cockpit rocked with violent shocks. The sound of their punches was like thunder, almost to the point of deafening. Touji had lost all contact with the command bridge and it seemed like they had given up on him.

Outside on the battlefield, Rei and Asuka attacked in perfect synchronization. When those two lovely ladies fought the Seventh Angel, they mastered the art of fighting as one with their two robots. They were both moving with a grace and agility mastered over many Angel battles just by the two of them.

The battered Bardiel grew desperate. Over forty percent of its body was horribly damaged. The two Evas fought him with perfect teamwork, tearing its body to bits. It extended its right arm, surpassing its normal length over four fold. Bardiel hoped the arm would be able to grab one its foes.

It was not to be. Rei and Asuka stepped out of the way of the arm. Both girls gripped it and with one painful jerk, ripped the arm off the black Angel.

Inside the Eva, Touji screamed as he felt his right arm go completely numb. Despite losing communication with the bridge, Touji could see everything happening through his view-cameras.

Rei and Asuka were killing him. Deep down, he always knew those two evil girls would do him in. Maybe if the Third Child, a boy named Shinji Ikari, wasn't listed as missing for over a decade, then Touji wouldn't have to face them alone. But considering all the horrible things that had happened to Touji as a Pilot, it may as well have been better for Shinji that he never became a cursed Pilot.

Shinji Ikari. He was the son of Gendo Ikari and the deceased Yui Ikari. After his mother died, Gendo left him in the care of an old college professor. But just after a week at the professor's household, Shinji vanished. There was no evidence of kidnapping or him running away. Shinji was sleeping in his bedroom, the next morning he was gone.

The police were baffled. They quickly ruled out kidnapping and assumed Shinji ran away but how could a scared three year old boy just up and vanished? Eventually the police ruled that little Shinji must have tried running away but after a little bit away from the house, he must have been abducted and slaughtered by someone who hid his body. Young Shinji Ikari would never become a Pilot for NERV.

"Kid's better off dead than being here…" Touji muttered as he desperately thought of a way to escape. His cockpit rumbled. Than the explosions came. Fire began filling up the entry plug. "NO!" Touji screamed as the flames moved closer to him. "NOOOOO-"

*vmm*

"-OOOOOoooo… what?" Touji blinked as he realized he was no longer surrounded by fire. In fact, he wasn't even in the entry plug anymore. He was in a pure white space that seemed to stretch on for eternity. The only other thing there was two old red chairs, a gold metal tray holding a TV remote, and a small television.

"…" said Touji. He looked at himself. He was still dressed in his blue and gray plug-suit. "Where am I?"

"In your mind," came a strong voice from the unending white.

"EEK!" Touji shrieked. He forgot about nursing his tough guy image. He was petrified. Touji looked behind him and saw a man there.

The stranger was a man of great height, about six feet six inches. He was obviously in excellent shape, not bulky like a weight-lifter but more like a gymnast. These muscles came about over years of fighting. Despite looking only about eighteen years old, the man had a look of experience and cunning to him that put anything Commander Ikari had to shame. The man was dressed entirely in loose black leather. He had on baggy black leather pants that reached to his boots. The man wore no shirt. Instead he had a long black trenchcoat that went down to his heels. On the back of the trenchcoat was a long sword-sheath that housed a sword over five feet long that would be grabbed by his hands covered with black gloves. The stranger had spiky dark brown hair that matched his eyes which had the look of a soldier who had seen many battles.

"Greetings Touji Suzuhara. I am Shinji, Shinji Ikari. A name that, I feel, is quite familiar to you."

Touji gasped and pointed at the man. "You're the Third Child! The commander's son!"

"I am no one's son," Shinji sneered. "Gendo Ikari has as much right to claim me as his own as does an ant. Only one man could come close enough to call me his son. The man who showed me the universe. Sephiroth." Shinji walked over to one of the red chairs and took a seat. "Sit and learn, young Touji. I have much to tell you."

Touji stared at the man. It did not make sense how a fourteen year old boy should have the body of a man. With questions running through his head, Touji sat next to Shinji. The Forth Child stared at Shinji suspiciously. "I don't know who you are but you're not Shinji. You're too old."

"Heh, I am indeed Shinji Ikari. I was born on Earth fourteen years ago. Now if you wonder how I've aged, the answer is simple. Ask yourself one question, 'Does time pass the same in every dimension?' The answer is no. In some universes, a day here is a year there. Understand?"

"…" said Touji. "Um… okay. Are we in another dimension?"

"No," Shinji shook his head. "We are in your mind in a special room I designed. Time flows much slower here. A day here, a second there. Your body is still in the entry plug." Shinji picked up the remote and hit a button. The TV came on and showed a paused picture of the entry plug. The flames weren't moving and Touji had a frozen look of horror on his face. "Right now, you are still in danger from having Unit 00 and Unit 02 killing you." Shinji looked Touji with his confident eyes. "I'm offering you the chance to be on the winning side for a change. You can finally quit being a loser."

Touji took a deep breath to ease his nerves. Touji crossed his arms to achieve his paten tough-guy look, hoping to hid the fact he felt like crying an abandon baby. "I'm no loser."

Shinji chuckled. "I beg to differ. Ever since NERV became a part of your life, you've been nothing but a loser." Shinji hit a button and the TV changed channels. It now showed Unit 00 fighting the Third Angel. "Without me, NERV was forced to use the already injured Rei to fight the Angel. It was a losing battle for her. The Angel was able to destroy four shelters along with everyone in them before Rei was lucky enough to kill it by damaging its S2 organ. This was the battle where your sister was injured, wasn't it?"

"Y-Yes, yes, it is," Touji shuddered at the memory of his sister being hurt. "How do you know all this?"

"We're in your brain, Touji," Shinji rolled his eyes. "Isn't it obvious?"

"YOU'RE READING MY MIND?!" Touji screeched in panic.

"Yes, I am. Anyway-" Shinji changed the channel. "Ah. The Second Child arrives in NERV to fight the Forth Angel since Rei was so injured. This was where NERV hurt you again. Your best friend, Kensuke Aida, talked you into going top side so he could tape the battle."

"Yes, he did." Touji bowed his head. "Kensuke is… Kensuke was a good friend. If only that… BITCH ASUKA let us into her robot, Kensuke would STILL be alive!"

Shinji nodded, not in sympathy but in acknowledgement. "True. The Second Child disobeyed orders from Misato and refused to let you two into her 'precious' Eva. During the battle, she knocked the Forth Angel over where it landed on Kensuke, killing him."

Touji growled. "She wasn't even punished. Once Gendo made it back, he even complimented her for not 'contaminating' the Eva with our presence." Touji said the last part with venom in his voice. "NERV never even made restitution to the Aida family."

Shinji changed the channel again. "It wasn't until after the Fifth Angel that you found out that Asuka and Rei were Pilots. That was when you did the dumbest thing a puny life form like you could do. You attacked Rei Ayanami like a common hood."

Touji gripped his armchair so hard his knuckles turned white. "I wanted to make her pay. If it wasn't for those agents, I would have."

Shinji smiled evilly. "But you didn't. The commander ordered several Section 2 agents to keep watch over Rei and they were not pleased with your actions to the First Child." Shinji changed the channel again and now it showed Touji being viciously beaten by four agents. "They broke your nose, your arm, your ribs. They threatened your sister, saying they would rape her if you ever came near any of NERV's Pilots again. Tough break."

"Yes," Touji trembled when he saw the TV showing a laughing Asuka who mocking him for being so stupid. "I wanted to smash her skull in and humiliate those two bitches but I couldn't… NERV knew where my sister was."

"So you decided to give up. NERV was just too much for one little boy to handle."

"I COULDN'T FIGHT THEM!" snapped the Forth Child. "NERV WAS TOO STRONG!"

Shinji smiled. The child obviously had no control over his emotions. Shinji flipped through the channels, showing all the different fights between Unit 00 and 02 against the Angels. The two girls trained in perfect synchronization to fight the Seventh Angel. Despite Tokyo III nearly being reduced to ruin, the two girls took out the Tenth Angel together. With all the Angel battles, Rei and Asuka became the perfect team. Than he changed the channel, this one showing Touji being confronted by a Section 2 agent.

Shinji watched the show with interest. "Finally, you were revealed as the Forth Child, the Pilot of Eva Unit 03. You told Gendo's lack dog to take the hike and the suit did." Both of them watched the channel which showed a proud looking Touji kicking an agent out of his home. The channel moved an hour ahead. "You received a phone call from NERV saying that your sister would be put in a special NERV hospital without your consent and if you wanted her to stay there, you'd pilot the Eva."

"It was a threat!" Touji howled, punching his chair. "They didn't say they'd kill her but I knew that's what they meant!" Touji sank in his chair, seething in anger. "I became the Forth Child and on my first battle, I was possessed and my two… teammates fought me, hoping to kill me," Touji said the last part with venom. "God, I just wanna kill 'em all."

"Wonderful! That's what I wanted to hear from you." Shinji turned off the television. He looked at Touji. "I'm here to offer you a one time offer. I want you to serve me as a special operative. You'll be given great power and if you obey me and have your revenge against the wrongs NERV have done to you."

Touji bit his lip to keep from saying yes. If the devil came to him with the offer for revenge, Touji would gladly offer his soul in exchange. The funny thing is that would be pretty close to what was happening. "How would you give me power?"

"I'll have the Eva absorb you before Rei and Asuka kill you. Inside the Eva, your body will rebuild with your own S2 organ. I will also have you trained. I'll keep your mind in this 'dream world' for some time where I'll train you in the use of your power and strategic thinking. Outside, only two days should pass. Here, you'll spend at least two years under my tutelage. Once you're sent back to the real world, you'll have the power to handle any of the Angels all by yourself."

"…you can do that?"

"Yes," Shinji smiled confidently. "It would be easy for one of my abilities. I'll also use these powers to dispel the Angel from your Eva so Unit 00 and 02 won't destroy it and you in it. The remains of your Eva will be brought back to the base where it'll be repaired. That way, you'll be safe as I have Eva rebuild your body with an S2 organ, giving you the power to destroy NERV."

Touji wasn't a fool. "And the price would be?"

"Your freedom. You will be my servant, my killer, my acolyte."

Touji did not like that. He was already a prisoner of NERV and so he did not want to be one of Shinji's. "What if I say no?"

Shinji shrugged. "I'll awake your consciousness inside the entry plug where your most likely die in five seconds. I am giving you a choice. Live as my slave or die as NERV's. Say 'yes' and become more powerful than you could imagine or say 'no' and become a corpse. It is your choice."

Touji took a deep breath even though he knew it wasn't air he was breathing. It wasn't everyday he was asked to help conquer the world. "I know you hate NERV but what about Earth? Will you make it a better place once you're in charged?"

Shinji glared. "Do NOT mistake me for a savior! I don't intend to 'liberate' this planet but conquer it! I am a superior being that deserves to rule over lesser ones! This world is mine! I will not share it with those fools at SEELE!"

*blink*blink* "Seal? Wha?"

Shinji sighed. He didn't feel like explaining everything to Touji yet. "They're the real power behind NERV. If you want to know more, except my offer."

"I'm in," Touji said quickly. "On two conditions. One: I want you to swear that no harm will ever come to my sister or family. Two: I want you to make sure that NERV pays for everything they've done to me. If you agree to these, I'll join you."

"Your terms are acceptable," Shinji smiled. "Good, you are now my soldier." The entire room started swaying. The chairs and the two men started disappearing. "You've just taken your first step into a much greater world."

At that point, Touji achieved a 400% synch ratio and became one with Eva.

**XXXXXXX**

Up in the stratosphere, Shinji smiled as his consciousness returned to his body. "A new pawn enters the darkness. Hopefully I'll make him strong enough to be a knight." Shinji looked down from miles in the atmosphere to see Units 00 and 02 attack the already reeling Thirteenth Angel. If Shinji didn't purify the Eva of the Angel now, Touji's 'training dojo' would be destroyed.

White energy began crackling in his hands. With a devilish smile, Shinji aimed at the Angel and continued building energy.

**XXXXXXX**

The command center was, for a change, not too chaotic. Misato was barking orders to Rei and Asuka to finish the Angel. The bridge crew were reading the reports from their two Eva. The command crew, Gendo, Ritsuko, and Fuyutsuki were watching the battle with firm looks of interest.

"The Angel is reeling in defeat," Ritsuko noticed. "It'll be dead in another moment."

Fuyutsuki nodded. "The Pilot won't survive though."

"He will be replaced," Gendo said heartlessly.

Fuyutsuki was about to respond when Maya turned to them with an urgent look. "SIR! We've just detected a massive energy concentration two miles straight above the battle!"

Ritsuko gasped. "Is it another Angel?"

"No AT Field detected so I doubt it," Aoba clarified. "It's a massive buildup of an unknown energy that surpasses any other reading ever recorded!"

Gendo glared over his steeple fingers. According to the Dead Sea Scrolls, there should be no beings that possesses more power than the Angels. Could a new form of life be attacking? "Where is the blast expected to strike?"

Hyuga checked his computer. He didn't like what he saw. "RIGHT AT THE ANGEL!"

Misato gasped. "The Pilots are in the blast vicinity! Tell them to take evasive action!"

The order to pull out was barely received in time. Just as Unit 00 and 02 pulled back, a massive pillar of light shot down from the sky and enveloped the Angel in blinding white light. Once the light cleared, the Angel was no more. All that remained was the damaged body of Unit Three. Its right arm was gone as was its left leg. The head was shattered and smashed into a stump but the body remained. In this body, Touji was locked in a special astro training realm, teaching him the limits of his power.

Maya blinked and checked her panel. "All traces of the Angel are gone! The blast destroyed it!"

Fuyutsuki was freaked. "Where'd it come from?! Is there another Angel up there?!"

Maya checked her computer again. "No, sir! There is no AT Field detected up in the atmosphere! There's no trace of anything! Whatever was up there's already gone!"

Misato gasped as she realized that the Pilot was still unaccounted for. "What about Touji?! Open a transmission to him!"

Aoba did so but found there was no one in the entry plug. That did not make sense so he checked the Pilot's synch ratio. "GOOD GOD! IT'S AT 400%! TOUJI JUST ACCHIEVED A 400% SYNCH RATIO!"

"Hmm," Gendo mused. "Just like Yui. Dr. Akagi, what is your explanation."

"I… don't know. Once the Angel contaminated the Eva, the Pilot should have lost all control and not been able to synch. The only explanation would be that the unknown blast somehow triggered the Eva to absorb the Pilot."

Gendo nodded. Without any evidence, that would be the only conclusion one could make. "What are the chances of bringing back the Pilot?"

Ritsuko sighed. "Slim to none. I wouldn't even want to risk retrieval until the Unit 03 has been totally repaired. Considering the extent of the damages and the repair costs, it might just be easier to replace him."

"RITS!" Misato was shocked at her friend's ruthlessness.

Gendo looked at the major to silence her. "Calm yourself, major. She was just stating a fact. Begin the repairs to Unit Three and inform the Marduke Institute to begin searching for the Fifth Child. We must be prepared for possibility that we have lost the Forth."

Fuyutsuki had to resist the urge to storm up to the commander and smack him. "That could take months, Ikari. We'll be too vulnerable until than since every Eva except Unit 01 has sustained extensive damaged, we should find a way to activate Unit 01. Since Shinji is most likely dead, we'll have to continue working on the Dummy Plug."

Ritsuko sighed. "Every time we enter the Dummy Plug into Unit 01, the Eva rejects it. I doubt we can modify the Dummy Plug any more. The only way I can see that we can use Unit 01 would be to find your son, commander."

"That is not an option," Gendo countered. "The Third Child has been missing for over a decade. We won't find him, he's most likely buried in some ditch off on the side of a road." He got up to leave. "Fuyutsuki, I leave this to you."

**XXXXXXX**

It was already past midnight when Gendo made it home. Today was not a good day at the office. Unit Three was damaged horribly, the Forth Child was absorb, and the other two Evas were also damaged fighting the Angel. It would be difficult to convince SEELE to give NERV more money. He would have to work up an argument when he met them tomorrow. Right now, he just wanted to rest.

Gendo flicked a light switch but no lights came on. The commander of NERV sighed. He would have to replace that bulb in the morning. He entered into his dark living room where no shape could be distinguish. Than he heard it, a quite laugh.

"Welcome home, father."

Gendo instantly pulled out a hand-gun from inside his jacket. "Who's there?" he pointed it in the direction of the voice. Suddenly all the lights in the apartment came on. Sitting at his dining table was a tall man in his late teens with his legs crossed. The stranger was flipping through Gendo's private photo album. "WHO ARE YOU?!"

The stranger paid no heed to the gun being aimed at him. "I remember this one," he pointed at a certain photo. "I was very young. We had went to the circus together: You, me, and mother. You tried to win me a Ninja Turtle doll at the 'test-your-strength' sledge hammer game. You couldn't even get the iron halfway up to hit the bell. You were rated 'pee-wee' strong. It was mother through that won the doll by swinging the hammer at 'Hercules' level. Mother and I laughed. Uncharacteristically of you, you actually laughed with everyone at your wife proving stronger than you. You've sure changed since than." The stranger closed the photo album and stood up into the light. He pointed to his face. "See somebody you know?"

Gendo was so shocked that he lowered the gun. "Shinji?" he whispered. "It can't be…" Suddenly Gendo's shock vanished and he raised the gun to Shinji's head and took a step back. "You're an imposter," he said emotionlessly. "The Third Child is only fourteen; you look twenty. Tell me who sent you. Was it SEELE? The UN?"

Shinji had a sly smile. "Still don't believe what your eyes tell you? I was wrong. You haven't changed at all. You still refuse to take things at face value." Shinji removed his right glove and dropped it on the table. Gendo watched in surprised as the intruder turned his back to Gendo, giving him a perfect kill shot. Shinji opened a drawer and pulled out a small stake knife and cut his hand, drawing blood. Shinji didn't show a change of face as he slit his hand. Next he laid the knife on the table, making sure not to wipe the blood off before putting back on his glove. "That should be enough of a sample to prove who I am. I'll head to NERV soon so prepare Unit 01 for the next Angel."

Gendo was about to shoot the fraud in the leg to drop him when all the lights went off. He fired four shots into the dark. The lights came back on. The intruder was gone, no evidence of him being there existed except the knife.

Gendo pulled out a cell phone and dialed. "Ikari here. I'm heading back to base for an immediate DNA test. Get it ready." Gendo left out the detail about the intruder. It would be seen as a sign of weakness if he admitted that he couldn't keep out a simple teen.

There was little chance that the stranger really was Shinji but the chance that they found a new Pilot was too good to ignore. If the DNA wasn't a match, the next time they met, the stranger would die but if it was…

Than there was a chance he could see Yui again.

**XXXXXXX**

Ten minutes later at Maya Ibuki's private apartment…

Maya was shaking. The time was approaching. He was coming.

"Please don't let me screw this up," Maya offered a little prayer to her god. She was dressed rather cute. She had on a pair of white cotton panties and a flannel shirt four sizes too large covering herself. Maya wore this not to look adorable but to hide her small breasts which earned her the nickname 'A-cup' in high school.

"Lovely night, isn't it?" came a voice from behind her. Maya spun around and saw Shinji standing on her balcony, his long black trenchcoat flowing in the evening breeze.

Maya did the only thing natural when one is confronted with a superior being. Show bowed her head. "Yes, it is. I-I-I have the re-reports for you," Maya grabbed a folder off her kitchen counter and handed it to Shinji. "Unit 00 and 02 received some damage in the last battle. Not enough to permanently put them out of commission but they won't be combat ready for at least another week. The two Pilots weren't injured too badly. Pilot Touji is… unaccounted for."

Shinji nodded. "What is the progress of the Forth Child's Eva?"

"S-S-Sempai says the cost to fix it would run in the billions but Commander Ikari did approve of the money. We still can't retrieve the Forth Child."

"Good. Keep me informed on all the repairs to Unit 03." Shinji turned to leave when Maya approached him. She looked desperate and had her hands grasping the other, like a beggar.

"Y-Y-You'll keep your promise, right? I-I've done everything you've told me to so you'll make everything right, right?"

Shinji smiled simply. "Of course I will, Miss Ibuki. You have served me well. If you continue to do so, I will make all your wishes come true."

Tears came to Maya. "Oh, thank you! Thank you, sir!"

Right than Shinji glared and Maya stepped back in fear. She had just broke one of the taboos Shinji had when he recruited her. If she didn't rectify it, she would be punished. Most likely with death.

"I'm sorry. Please don't be angry… Master."

Shinji smiled. Maya was relived. She was about to ask her master if he wanted a refreshment when Shinji disappeared in a bright flash of light, leaving Maya to relax and dream of the future Shinji promised her. Whatever her dreams may be, one thing was certain over what Maya wanted.

"Sempai… you're finally be all mine. Body and soul." She smiled fiendishly. "Heh heh heh…"

**XXXXXXX**

Ten minutes later at the remains of Unit 03.

All was quiet in the storage chamber where engineers and scientists worked feverishly to repair the wrecked Eva. These people worked with a quiet dignity in an orderly fashion. Inside the Eva, Hell was happening.

A large muscular green lizard monster (i.e. Gregole from the Guyver anime) was facing off against Touji in a bloodmatch. The black dogi Touji wore was shredded, the pants were the only thing not tear apart. He had long gashes and cuts running on his body where blood ran from. The two fighters were both in the white space that stretched on to infinity. The only color there was the small puddles of Touji's blood on the white floor.

"Alright, you stupid RoBeast… I don't got a Blazing Sword handy but I can still kick your ass!" Touji growled as he took a basic karate stance. "LET'S GO!"

The lizard man also charged forward, claws and fangs baring. It was wanting to chase him down and tear the pray into shreds. It was surprised when Touji did the unexpected and jumped straight at the animal, leaving him at the monster's mercy.

Touji wasn't stupid. He had been watching the monster and studying its movements for the last five minutes. It had the strength of fifthteen men, a thick hide, and little intelligence. The monster grabbed Touji in a bear hug, digging its claws into Touji sides. The monster flashed its yellow fangs in a demented smile. It wanted to eat man flesh.

To bad what it got was Touji stuffing his fist in its mouth.

The monster stopped slashing Touji and gagged. Touji's entire right arm was stuffed all the way down the monster's throat, choking it. With the monster stunned, Touji punched it as hard as he could at its forehead. The thick hide cracked. Touji punched again and was rewarded with a skull fragment breaking loose. The monster was stunned which gave Touji the opportunity to finally punch hard enough to jam the skull fragment into the monster's brain, killing it.

The dead lizard man collapsed and Touji tore his arm free of the monster's dentures. He had several long gashes on the arm where the monster sank its teeth into. Touji turned away from the monster to nurse his throbbing arm. The pain was horrid but at least he had the satisfaction of killing the monster. When he first started training, he hated the killing. He got use it though, when the monsters would slowly eat him alive. Now, he enjoyed killing the monsters.

Right than the monster's body vanished as did all the traces of the battle. The blood pools vanished as did Touji's wounds. Touji smiled as the pain disappeared. Even the young man's dogi completely reformed without a single thread missing.

"Pretty good, Touji. Instead of out powering the Gregole monster, you put yourself at risked just to deliver a killing blow. Good thinking, I'm impressed."

Touji turned around to see that his 'teacher' was there. He was a tall muscular man. An American with long blond hair and blues eyes. He was dressed in a red dogi with the sleeves missing.

Touji bowed. "Thanks, Sensai Ken. There any more lessons for the day?"

"Nope! You've really improved since you came here," Ken smiled. "You've got the rest of the day off so enjoy it." Ken snapped his hand and an Olympic size pool appeared. Than Touji's dogi turned into red swimming trunks. "Enjoy it cause tomorrow, you report to strategy school to learn tactics."

Touji bowed his head in reverence before heading towards the pool for a few hundred laps to relax himself after ten hours of non stop training. He was about to dive in the deep end when Ken ran up to him. "Are you really alright, Touji? I know your body's find but what about here?" he pointed at his forehead. "Killing things can really mess with your head. It can be pretty hard to watch anyone, even a monster, die. Don't those sights bother you?"

Touji looked at Ken with a dead expression. "These sights do not bother me. I have changed from who I was long before I joined Shinji's army. It was hard at first but I quickly got over it." Touji stepped closer, staring into Ken's eyes. "And if you want to know what a horrible sight is, just watch your sister struggle just to feed herself." Touji raised his voice a few decibels. "Watch your own mother cry when her daughter begs her to make the pain go away! WATCH YOUR BEST FRIEND DIE WITH YOUR OWN EYES! THOSE ARE THE SIGHTS I HAVE SEEN!" Touji took a deep breath to steady himself. "Killing no longer bothers me and won't make me psychotic but the idea of a monster like Gendo Ikari living another day is enough to drive me insane…"

With that off his already muscular chest, Touji dove into the 300 meter pool and started swimming. He had about four hours of relaxation before he would have to go to sleep.

On the edge of the pool, Ken nodded. It wasn't like he cared about Touji. Actually, 'Ken' couldn't care about anyone. He was just a computer program that Shinji put into the Eva to train Touji just as all the other programs were. Touji's strategy teacher had the appearance of a large man in a metal mask named Destro. The teacher who was in charge of instructing Touji with his S2 organ was a super combat program titled 'Magneto'. Seeing Touji already on his fifth lap, Ken vanished into the special program matrix Shinji installed.

**XXXXXXX**

The next day…

"The Fourteenth Angel is identified!" Hyuga yelled. "It's heading straight for Terminal Dogma!"

Misato sprang into action. "Stasis of the Angel's capabilities?"

"Unknown but it looks nasty," Aoba threw in his private opinion.

Asuka stomped her feet. "Than what are we waiting for?! Just send me and Wonderdoll out!"

"Your Evas are too damaged," Ritsuko said dryly. "We'll use Unit 01 for this fight."

Rei looked at her fellow pilot. "Are you sure it is Shinji? He has been listed as missing for over a decade."

Ritsuko chose to answer. "We did a DNA test. It's him alright though we can't find a reason why he's aged so much."

Asuka tsked and rolled her eyes. "So where is our brave knight in shining white armor?"

Right than the gate to the Unit 01's storage chamber opened up and Shinji stepped out, his trenchcoat giving him an unearthly feel. He did not have his sword with him so Gendo's scientists would find about its unearthly metals. Shinji did not need it to deal with a weak Angel.

If Misato was drinking something, she would have done a spit take. "What the?! WHO IS HE AND HOW DID HE GET PAST SECURITY?!" she was about to summon a swarm of Section 2 agents when Gendo stopped her.

"That is the Third Child, the Pilot of Unit 01."

Misato was silent for a short second. "…pilot? …Pilot? PILOT?! HE'S NOT FOURTEEN! HE'S IN HIS TWENTY'S!"

Ritsuko sighed. "I can't explain it but it is him. He showed up at the Commander's home last night. We did a DNA test. Take my word for it, it's him."

Asuka was about to say a snide comment when she found herself staring at Shinji's well chiseled chest. The boy… no, Man had a marvelous body, even better than Kaji's.

Misato grinned. "Like what you see?"

"Yes-I MEAN NO! KAJI'S THE ONLY ONE FOR ME!" Asuka panicked like a chicken with its head cut off.

Gendo glared around the room, shutting everyone up. He got out of his chair and walked up the glass wall separating the command bridge from the storage chamber. "It's been a while."

"Feels like an eternity," Shinji replied with a sly look.

There was a long silent moment between the two. Gendo looked at his son with a monotonous expression, trying to figure him out. Shinji, though, looked at his father with a sense of amusement, like a child finding a single ant crawling on the ground. The base rumbled. "It's close. It must be able to sense us. Third Child, get in the Eva."

"Of course. I am here to save all humanity just as you are, father." Shinji said the last part with a confident smirk. "I do have one request though. I wish for a position in NERV."

"You already have one. You are a Pilot," Gendo replied automatically, trying to figure out what his son really wanted.

"Ah, but that is not enough," Shinji waggled a finger. "I would like to protect our fine organization. I want a position in NERV security with pay and rank equal to that of young Miss Katsuragi up there."

Misato gagged and was about to give the little upstart a lesson in reality when Gendo stopped her. "Granted. You'll be Katsuragi's subordinate and second-in-command of security. Now get in the Eva."

Shinji walked to an entry plug with cool confidence. Up in the command bridge, Misato wasn't cool but hyper.

"I don't wanna work with that kid! He's a security risk! Got that?! There is no way he's really fourteen!"

"Major Katsuragi," Gendo began quite coolly. "If it will pacify him, than you have no choice. Shinji is now your second-in-command. Treat him however you wish."

Misato growled at the thought of having to break in a new rookie to handle the stressful workload of her job. Little did she realized just how experienced Shinji was in ordering soldiers around.

The bridge crew worked on Unit 01 and how Shinji would interface with it.

"Weird," said Maya Ibuki.

"What is it?" asked Ritsuko.

Maya scratched her head. "When the cockpit filled up with LCL, he showed no reaction. The guy just took a deep breath of the liquid and acted as if anything was normal. If I didn't know any better, I say he knew how we activated the Evas."

"That's strange." Ritsuko added. That's when the other 'bridge bunnies' started running down the checklist.

"Connecting main power."

"Secondary nerve connections established. It's gonna work just fine."

Ritsuko was studying the controls. "Amazing, there were only a one in one thousandth chance the Eva would work but everything is functioning in normal parameters. So what's the man-child's synch rating?"

"Synchronization at… whaaa?" Maya looked at the computer like a monkey doing a math problem.

"What is it? Is it too low?"

"It's 43%… no, it's now 17%… no, 55%? Wait, it's changed to… 120%" finished Maya, astonished.

"What?" Ritsuko freaked. "Y-You mean… he can set his synch ratio to any depth he wants?!" Ritsuko paused as he thought of taking Shinji to a private lab and see if she could learn why this was after countless 'experiments'. "Amazing… It seems he is the perfect Pilot."

"…no he's not…" Asuka muttered under her breath. "…no one's better than me…"

Misato nodded clearly reluctantly. "Alright… EVANGELION UNIT 01! LAUNCH!"

Unit 01 was shot to the surface to face the deadly Fourteenth Angel. It possessed a set of long, lethal, and flexible razor sharp blades that were so devastating they could slice an Eva apart easily. That was not the end of its fearsome weapons. It had a launcher that could fire massive high energy blasts that could destroy an entire city. Despite being loaded down with these weapons, the Angel was fast, being able to skim across any surface. The Angel's AT Field was the most powerful ever recorded. All this, Shinji knew and could respond only one way.

"Zeruel, the Angel of Strength. Hmp! I'm not impressed."

Zeruel, seeming to hear this smug comment, fired a large orange blast. Unit 01 leapt into the air over two thousand feet, out of the attack's range which destroyed several sections of NERV. Too bad the blast incinerated the Umbilical Cord.

Maya gasped. "THE UMILICAL CORD'S BEEN DISCONNECTED!"

Aoba checked the figures. "Only five minutes of backup power left!"

Misato paled. "INFORM THE PILOT!"

Maya turned around. "We can't! The blast destroyed our radio antenna! We can't send any transmissions!"

Misato banged her fist on a panel. "DAMNIT! The Pilot doesn't know about the Eva's limits!"

Maya was about to respond that Shinji does indeed since she told him everything. Fortunately, she quickly shut her mouth shut and not jeopardizing her position. "Should we marshal Units 00 and 02?"

Ritsuko shook her head. "It'll take twenty minutes just to reattached their old damaged limbs and another twenty to have them on the launch pad."

Gendo cut in. "Prepare the other two Units for combat. The Third Child may be able to wound the Angel enough to give us enough time to prepare them."

Misato nodded. That would be the only course of action they could take. Everyone watched the Eva's last five minutes of combat. What they saw shocked them.

The purple Goliath came down from the sky, like a hawk with its talons poised for the kill. Unit 01 struck the AT Field with its hands, causing a sonic howl to ring out. Instead of jumping off, Unit 01 continued pushing its hands into the AT Field, causing the field to flare up. Zeruel's orange field began crackling as the Eva's hands began glowing orange.

Ritsuko froze. "Is Eva neutralizing the Field?!"

"N-NO!" Maya yelled as she read the readout. "It's absorbing the AT Field!"

Misato gasped. "What did you say?!"

Unit 01's fists began soaking the energy up which made them glow bright orange. Finally it punched through the AT Field, exposing the Angel to the pain. Shinji smiled as his punch melted through the Angel's flesh, exposing it raw nerves to the burning power now surging through Unit 01's hands. Zeruel swung its right blade, hoping to decapitate Unit 01. Its razor sharp arm was caught in mid-swing by Unit 01 who tore it free from the screaming Angel. Before it could strike with the second blade-arm, Unit 01 gripped it within its flaming fist, melting the Angel's arm into a smoldering lump of flesh. The Angel screamed.

Misato STARED. "Good lord… he's a monster…"

Maya trembled. Shinji handled Unit 01 with mastery that surpassed anything Asuka had.

Asuka blushed shyly. Shinji wasn't a better Pilot than her. Nope! No way! No how! No chance!

Aoba checked the readout. "Only two minutes of backup power remaining!"

Misato snapped out of her awe inspired daze. "Aoba, do we have any communication with him?"

"No ma'am!" Aoba shook his head.

Zeruel couldn't handle the pain any more. It channeled the unlimited might of its S2 organ into a concentrated blast and fired it point blank. Instantly, Unit 01 raised its glowing right hand, intercepting the blast and knocking it skyward where it exploded, lighting the night. Shinji took this opportunity to have Unit 01 tear into the Angel's stomach. Despite all the damage he was inflicting, Unit 01 was still running low on power.

Fuyutsuki tightened his knuckles so hard they turned white. "Only one minute of backup power left."

Ritsuko nodded. "We won't have Unit 00 and 02 ready for a while but considering the fierceness Shinji has, we might not need them."

"Let's hope so," Misato said sharply.

Back on the battlefield, Shinji could feel that his Eva was only a minute away from running out of power. Finishing Zeruel off would be simple. The Angel was already on the verge of defeat but killing the Angel was Shinji's secondary goal. What he really wanted was its S2 organ. With that added to his Eva, Unit 01 would no longer be bound to NERV's control. Shinji could easily outfit the Eva with his advance biotechnology but that would simply reveal himself to SEELE too soon.

In the Eva, Shinji smiled. "Time to feed the beast." Shinji ordered his Eva to do something so revolting that Maya actually threw up.

"He's… eating the Angel?"

"Good lord!" Ritsuko snapped as she watched the most powerful Angel ever recorded die. "He's absorbing the S2 organ!"

Unit 01's hands went to the point where the armor plates met on its chest. The spot was found and Unit 01 grabbed the armor, tearing it off, exposing its new S2 organ for all to see.

"An animal…" Fuyutsuki said in awe.

"A hunter," corrected Gendo.

"A king," Maya said quietly.

"Eva is hungry," began Ritsuko to the confused Misato. "It was cut off from its life force so now it seeks substance."

"But he's not berserk," countered Misato.

Ritsuko sighed. "I have no other explanation. If you want to know what's motivating him, just ask him during the debriefing for his new position."

Misato nodded dumbly. Today was too insane for her mind to tackle.

Asuka frowned. "Big deal… I could have done that," she whispered. "Damn Forth Child… messing up my Eva. It's all his fault."

Gendo got up to leave. "Fuyutsuki. I leave this to you."

The sub-commander nodded. "What about the Third Child? Should I have him 'escorted' to the lab or an interrogation room?"

Gendo looked behind before exiting. "Neither. If he wishes to be a security staff member than have Capt. Misato deal with it. Captain! I want you to go over all of NERV's security with the Third Child. Feel free to bury him under paper work if you feel the need."

Misato smiled evilly at the thought of putting the arrogant little pecker in his place. "Yes, sir!"

**XXXXXXX**

It was several hours later when super spy Kaji Ryouji decided to check on the lovely Misato. He had learned that the missing Shinji Ikari had been the Pilot to defeat the latest Angel. The UN instantly wanted a full dossier on the boy. That's why they sent Kaji to woe his formal lady love who happened to be the boy's supervisor. He knocked on the door to Misato's office. There was no answer. Moving like the super spy he was, Kaji quietly opened the door and saw the major in her sexy little mini-skirt outfit. She was at her desk, rubbing her eyes like she had been awaked for forty hours straight. The major was also chugging a beer despite it being against NERV policy to drank on the job.

"Hey there, Misato." He flashed her his paten lady killer smile. It did not work on the major. She had a tired look and was quite angry.

"Back off, Kaji. I'm not in the mood."

"Aw, is my lovely little major upset? I know how to make you feel better."

Misato blushed. "Not now! I got to explain to Commander Ikari about all the security leaks that freaky son of his found in the last five hours!"

"Wha…" Kaji began, stepping forward so he could see the folders on Misato's desk. He hoped to God he wasn't discover.

"The second I brought that…" Misato strained to find the right word, "MAN here, he had the gull to give me 'suggestions' on ways to check for security leaks. And you know what really burned me? Every idea he had was brilliant! We started some unique cross checking with NERV workers here and we found three spies from the UN! Not only that but Shinji suggest we check any unauthorized phone lines going on with the MAGI and we found two agencies hacking in to our system! And to top it all off, I just got a call from Gendo saying if I don't explain those mishaps by tomorrow morning, I'm fired and Shinji gets my job!"

Kaji blinked. "Gendo really said that? It doesn't make sense that he would just hand over such an important position to an unknown, even if he is his son."

"Tell me about it," Misato slumped over her desk; arching her back like a kitten. "We don't have a clue where he comes from nor has he explained it. He said his 'records' will come in tomorrow but until than, he doesn't have to tell me anything and I'm in charge of security here. All I know about him is the man is two things. One: There is no way he's really fourteen and two: The man's a military mastermind. He knows every dirty trick that spies use and the ways to counter them."

Kaji looked at his past-hopefully future-lover. "He's really like that, huh?"

Misato nodded. "I don't know what he is, Kaji. If I didn't trust Ritsuko so much, I swear the testing was rigged and he's not really Shinji. But I can tell you one thing. After all these spy busts he's done, Shinji's going to get a high ranking job here."

Kaji said nothing as he digested all that information. One thing was sure, whatever Shinji's story was, Kaji was going to check it out.

**XXXXXXX**

Within the eternal white oblivion, Touji trained.

Currently, the White Zone was different. There was no whiteness anymore. The location was a mountain range deep in the wilderness. Giant oak trees lined the ground, all in the shadow of gigantic mountains that reached far into the sky. Touji was in his sleeveless black dogi. For today's test, he had to fight Magneto.

Floating over two hundred feet in the air, Touji took a deep breath hoping to clear his mind. The surroundings were nice, even peaceful. He felt confident he would win. There were no steel works factories anywhere nearby or any towns where metal would be abundant. "Beating Magneto should be easy."

Boy, was THAT a dumb idea!

Touji's ears tingled. It sounded like a jet was flying towards him at full speed. Expecting Magneto to take control of the jet and fire its weapons, Touji raised his orange force field. It was more than adequate enough to stop bullets. The sound grew loader and loader but Touji could still see no airplane. Finally he understood what that sound was. "A SONIC BOOM!"

Magneto had used his powers to create a magnetic force bubble and sent it flying at him at mach eight. Touji screamed as the sound hit him. Blood poured from his ears, falling towards the green forest. Touji's concentration over his power wavered. He fell a hundred feet before he could gain enough control to resume flying. Out of the corner of his eye, Touji saw grey objects flying at super sonic speed. Touji instantly recognized it and from than on would remember a valuable lesson for the rest of his life.

Iron ore was always mined in mountains.

Growing desperate, Touji flew ground level, hiding among the trees. It would be perfect camouflage for him. "Try and find me now bucket head," Touji snickered to himself before freezing. He didn't hear what he had just said. He knew he said it but couldn't hear it. In his ears was a ringing that could not stop. Magneto had struck him deaf.

Touji took a deep breath to steady himself. "Come on Touji, you can still win. So what if you can't hear, you can still see and feel-"

Touji shut up when his entire body started shaking. Not only was it him but the entire forest as well. It felt like an earthquake was tearing the countryside apart. Touji knew it could not be a coincidence. "What are you up to Maggie?"

Touji started sweating very profusely. "Lord, it's hot all the sudden." Touji wiped his brow off. "Is this part of you plan? Can you make it hotter, Magneto?" Right than, a huge geyser erupted. Instead of hot water being released however, it was magma. All around the forest, thousands and thousands of gallons of magma erupted from the earth, burning down every tree they came across.

A puddle of the liquid fire touched Touji's foot, melting the flesh and toes into one lump. Touji screamed as he flew upwards. Pass the mind numbing pain, Touji made sense of the situation. He couldn't believe it but Magneto had used every bit of the iron ore to drill thousands of tunnels to the Earth's molten core, bringing the magma to the surface.

Touji flew upward, not too much, only about forty feet. Looking down, he was amazed to see all the lava form into a red steaming pool that seemed to stretch on into infinity. Touji gazed as the pool raised higher and higher.

Five feet.

Eight feet.

Twelve feet. Touji flew another ten feet higher.

Fifteen feet.

Twenty feet.

Twenty-five feet.

Thirty feet. It seemed to steady off.

Touji seemed mesmerized by the swirling lava so much so that he ignored a piece of iron ore until it was too late. It tore through his right arm, nearly separating it at the elbow. Touji screamed as he gripped the injured arm. He would have taken the time to make an AT Field cast for it but he saw more metal flying towards him. Growing desperate, Touji took what he felt was the most logical course. He created a force field bubble around him and dove into the lava.

Deep in the lava, Touji felt himself safe from any more of Magneto's devastating attacks. The acolyte of Shinji cursed himself. Here he was, one of the most powerful beings on the planet thanks to his S2 organ and yet he could not beat an old man in a ridiculous red and purple outfit (author's note! That's Touji's opinion. I think the costume Jack Kirby gave Magneto is incredible. LOVE LIVE KING KIRBY!) Hell! He hadn't seen Magneto during this test even once today.

Touji tried to formulate a plan when several objects collided against his AT Field at super sonic speeds. Against the constant assault from the lava, his force field could barely stand up against the metal. More metal was coming at him at super sonic speed so Touji started to zigzag in the lava pool until the metal melted. For one whole minute, Touji kept this up. He moved in every direction in the lava becoming disoriented. Touji started breathing heavily. He cursed himself. He was running out of air. Touji had no choice. If he didn't resurface now and face Magneto, he'd die by asphyxiation.

Touji tapped into the unlimited energy of his S2 organ and took off in the lava at mach two. Too bad that Touji made the worst mistake any deep sea diver could make when they want to resurface. He swam in the wrong direction.

The last thing Touji thought before he bashed his skull on the ground, knocking out his force field, and letting the lava consume him was quite natural.

Destro's really going to bitch to him about this screw up.

**XXXXXXX**

It seemed like several hours had passed for Touji. Once he came to, he found himself in a dull grey room like a military barracks. It was his quarters during his training. Touji sat up in his bed. Touji looked at himself. There were no injuries, no scars, no burns, nothing to prove that he had been dunked into lava. He knew there wouldn't be any. It was explained to him that what he was in the White Zone was just 'data'. Once his training was complete, his Eva would design him a new body tailor made to show the results of his training.

The door opened to his room and the master of magnetism stepped through. Magneto eyed him with content. "I am disappointed with you, Touji. You are the next soldier for the army of Mutant kind yet you failed! If you cannot last five minutes against me, what makes you think you can handle the X-Men?! Do you _want_ humanity to enslave our kind?!"

"You're rambling again, you stupid program! What the HELL's wrong with you?!" Touji growled. "AND WHO THE HELL'S THE X-MEN?" Whenever he lost, Magneto would go on and on about Mutant rights and the X-Men, whoever the hell they were.

"YOU DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!" Magneto yelled, clearly enraged. "Don't you know there are more people starving today than those who can call themselves free?! I must SHOW these ignorant masses what path to take! Whatever the cost shall be, I MUST DO THIS!" Magneto glared at Touji. "And you will grow stronger. If not, you may as well be already buried." Magneto stormed out of the room.

Touji felt like screaming at that idiotic power house. He would have yelled except his third instructor entered into his room. The man was of considerable size and build. He wore a sort of black leather/metal body army with a V-stripe shirt, showing off his bare chest. His entire head was covered in a silver metallic mask. He spoke with a heavy European accent.

"Sir Destro," Touji bowed his head at a man whose very presence speaks of honor and nobility. "I just came from a failed session with Magneto. He just… laid it into me. I got to know: Why does he talk like that?"

Destro sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Shinji didn't quite work out all the bugs for him." Destro snapped out of his headache and glared at Touji. "It still doesn't change matters that you FAILED a simple test!"

"Failed?! Look, if Maggie fought me face-to-face, I woulda creamed the glitch!"

"The point of this test was to use the strategy I've been teaching you! You can't solve every fight with your fists! I swear, I have not met a greater imbecile since Cobra Commander!"

Touji didn't bother to ask who Cobra Commander was. Magneto wasn't the only program that had bugs. "Than what did I do wrong, chrome dome?!"

"EVERYTHING!" Destro yelled. "You forgot the first rule of strategy: A good commander controls the battlefield. It's easy to win when you outnumber the enemy but when you don't, you must subvert your forces, plan ahead, and you must have position! Don't you remember anything I've taught you?! If you are being attacked, you want a place that is hard to reach and naturally defensible. If you are attacking, you must have easier access to your enemy than he has for you!"

"What does that crap mean?!"

Destro was so mad that he wanted to strangle Touji. "It means that you must always want the high ground!" Destro snapped his fingers, causing a small TV to appear out of thin air. The TV came on and it showed Magneto floating at the upper boarders of the atmosphere. "Your opponent had you in his view the whole time! You were nothing but a sitting duck to him! If you expect to protect your sister in the upcoming war, pay attention to your lessons!"

Touji didn't answer. He just hung his head in shame as his strategy teacher continued to point out all his faults. One thing was for sure. If he wanted to destroy NERV, Touji could not always depend on naked power.

**XXXXXXX**

The next day at NERV…

"Let me get this straight," Misato said dryly. "You don't remember growing up in Japan at all. For as long as you remember, you were an army brat constantly on the move with some group in Brittan which you're not at liberty to discuss. It wasn't until you were given a DNA test a few months ago that you knew you learned you were related to the commander in chief of NERV. Is this correct?"

Shinji nodded. "That is correct."

"…" said Misato. She stared hard at the young man-no way was he fourteen-and blinked. "This is complete and utter bull$#!+."

Shinji acted hurt. "You don't believe me?"

Misato was about to call security and have Shinji escorted to a holding cell despite the position his father gave him. Just than Gendo enter the room.

"Major. Leave."

Misato, clearly reluctantly, did as order. Before she left, she did spare a suspicious glance at Shinji. Something about that man scared her. Finally she left.

Gendo stared at his son who was taller than he was. "Your story is full of holes that anyone can spot."

"It is, isn't it?" Shinji nodded. "I just told the young major that I had no memory of Japan at all. It contradicts our encounter two nights ago when I met you at your home. I have obviously lied. The logical course would be to put me under… how do you say? Lock and key?"

There was no change in Gendo's expression. He took a step closer, staring his son right in the eye. "I know what you are," he whispered. "I just came from a meeting with SEELE." There was no questionable look on Shinji's face when Gendo said the name. "There, I was instructed by them to have you remain as both a security advisor and Pilot for Unit 01. You are not a spy though. You're too… loud to be a spy for SEELE."

Shinji nodded. "That's correct even though I am familiar with SEELE. I won't say how though. I'm curious. What do you think is my story?"

"When you were three, a SEELE agent grabbed you in the night and sent you to a military camp for children. There you were raised and trained to be their perfect little tin soldier. I say the reason why you've aged so much was due to growth hormones and other experiments."

Shinji chuckled. "Sounds like something out of the Voltron anime. You may have seen me watch it when I was a child. It is an amazing show: An alien prince, named Lotor, tries to conquer the planet Arus with giant monsters called RoBeasts under the eye of his father, King Zarkon. To save her world, Princess Allura assembles five brave pilots to man the powerful Voltron so they can fight the evil monsters. Our situation resembles the show, doesn't it? Everyone here serves as a shadow for all the characters in the show. Don't you agree, Princess Allura?" Shinji grinned slyly.

Gendo narrowed his eyes. "I understand your analogy but feel it is wrong. I am not Allura because I do not care about this planet."

Shinji nodded cheerfully. "I do believe you are right. You don't make a charming princess at all. Now Misato Katsuragi fits that role quite well. They're both characters who actually believe they are fighting to protect their world. Now the princess' main love interest was Keith, the charming main 'hero' of the story. Kaji fits that role since those two obviously still care for each other. Such idealistic fools, don't you think? It would be better if they both were put out of their misery than let their annoyances continue."

Gendo said nothing at Shinji's idea of murdering a co-worker and her lover.

Shinji had a thoughtful look. "Since Dr. Akagi's actual job is to create the Rei clones to be used in Third Impact, it's safe to say she represents Haggar the Witch. Both women are hold hags whose only functions are to create monsters to ravage planets. I think that comparison works quite well. SEELE could be seen as the Drule Council, men who wish for worlds to be added to their own so their power would increase. What do you think, father? Isn't ironic how we mimic the greatest anime ever?"

Gendo said nothing. Shinji just admitted he knew of NERV's secrets but as an agent of SEELE, he would have been informed of that. Perhaps he should play along with Shinji's game. "If you are such an expert than what character am I? I am far too cold to be a hero."

Shinji laughed. "It's obvious! You rule the 'evil world', i.e. NERV, and try to destroy the Eva Pilots for your plans! You're King Zarkon!"

"Your analogy is better now. I'm Zarkon because I am the 'main villain' but what are you? Are you one of the Lion Pilots, trying to protect the world, or a RoBeast who seeks the Earth's destruction?"

Shinji gave a sly smile. "Isn't it obvious? I'm Lotor; here to conquer this world."

With that, Shinji left without the commander's leave. Gendo did not stop him. He was too busy mauling over Shinji's last words. "This world? Was he implying a plural there?"

**XXXXXXX**

It was an hour later when everyone of the bridge crew, the senior staff and remaining Pilots came to the storage chamber of Unit 03. It was their first attempt to rescue the trapped Touji. Asuka was the only one there who didn't want to be there.

Maya looked over her computer. "Beginning retrieval, sempai."

Ritsuko nodded. "Begin the operation."

Behind them, Misato tensed. "Shouldn't we wait until Unit 03 is repaired? It's still heavily damaged."

"We don't know when the next Angel will come," Gendo cut in. "We must have every Pilot available."

Asuka gave her typical smirk. "I still say this is a waste. I can handle the rest all by myself. Don't you agree, Third Child?"

Shinji said nothing. Despite being twenty, Asuka continued to refer to him as a child. He did not argue with her since such an act would indeed prove childish.

"Starting the first phase," Maya began. "Something's forming." The bridge crew looked at the screen showing the inside of the entry plug. A shape could be seen. "We've got a lock on him!"

Ritsuko nodded. "Strengthen the connection!"

"On it sempai!"

Maya increased the power to the plug and now the shape took a form. "Connection re-establish. We have him!"

Misato breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god. Have a med team standing by. Now open the plug."

Maya did so. Through LCL steam clouds, a shape could be seen. It was Touji but something about him was different.

Touji's two years of training had their effects on him. He stood a few inches taller, reaching six feet tall not counting the extra two inches his hair gave him. He was no longer thin but muscular. His naked chest and calves were built like a weightlifters. Fortunately, he did not have too much bulk on him. The boy's body had been forced to undergo two years of the harshest training imaginable. His eyes were fierce and unyielding, more than ready to murder entire armies.

Asuka's jaw dropped. "Hubba hubba."

"T-T-Touji?" Misato stammered. "Is that you?

The Forth Child nodded. "Yes. I'm back."

Ritsuko snapped out of her shock. "Med Team! Take him to the med wing! And get some pants on him!"

Touji was about to AT Field the nurses back to Tokyo 2 but with a simple nod from Shinji stopped him. Touji walked forward, wondering where that draft came from.

"Nice ass, baby!" Asuka snickered.

Touji stopped dead and stared coldly at the Second Child. Asuka was laughing at him. Asuka: The one who killed his best friend. Asuka: the one that turned Hikari against him. Asuka: The one who made his life miserable. Hate built up in his stomach, darker than oil and more explosive than gasoline. But before he could unleash it, Shinji stepped forward, his trenchcoat flowing with his steps.

"Mr. Suzuhara?" Shinji extended his hand for a hand shake. "I am Shinji Ikari. It is so nice to met you."

All the anger melt from Touji when he saw Shinji. The Third Child's face looked friendly but Touji wasn't staring there but at his eyes. In his eyes was a simple message: Reveal yourself and die. Touji knew it was not a joke.

The Forth Child shook Shinji's hand in a friendly gesture, not allowing anyone to know he was Shinji's soldier. Despite how badly he wanted to kill Asuka, Touji wouldn't do it until it was time for the final battle. On that day, Touji would enjoy avenging Kensuke by gutting that woman along with the rest of NERV.

**XXXXXXX**

Touji was taken to a NERV medical wing several hours ago and now Dr. Akagi was giving her lover and Fuyutsuki the news.

"I must to you sir, I can't explain why the Forth Child has aged so much but it is confirmed that he has physically aged two years.

Gendo nodded as he stared down the doctor over his steeple fingers. "Any changes in his personality?"

Ritsuko had a slightly worried expression. "It's obvious he still carries a personal hatred of NERV but instead of acting like the angry brat he use to be, he seems more… focus. Discipline even. He hasn't even made a snide remark to anyone since we got him out. If I didn't know any better, I say he's also aged mentally."

Fuyutsuki nodded. "I've seen the Forth Child in the medical wing. He has changed since he was absorbed. I suggest we keep him under closer psychiatric evaluation."

Gendo approved of the idea. "Very well. Tell me doctor, has their been any other physical changes to the Forth Child?"

"None. I've done a complete scan with every medical program the Magi's been program and nothing's been found."

Gendo was surprised by this but he didn't show it. "Leave." His two staff officers did so. Once he was along in his dark office, Gendo relaxed in his chair. "Yui," he whispered to himself. "I found Shinji, he's different but don't worry. If he comes between us, I'll kill him. I swear it!"

Gendo started going over papers for more funding. Any problems that Shinji represented were put out of his mind as he worked closer to see his wife.

**XXXXXXX**

It was night time. Touji was resting in a NERV hospital. He laid down to sleep in his bed. He was having a dream but knew it wasn't just a dream. It was the dreamscape that his master employed to talk to his underlings.

Touji wasn't in his hospital gown but the black dogi he wore before. He also found that he was back in the White Zone where Shinji first met him. It was exactly the same as it was before except for one thing: Instead of two chairs, there were three.

"Glad to see you're here, my acolyte." Touji turned around to see Shinji, dressed in his black uniform. "Allow me to introduce you another in my servitude: Maya Ibuki." Touji turned around to see the wallflower of NERV dressed in her uniform. "She is the one that kept Dr. Akagi from discovering your S2 organ. Her 'sempai' does not know this but Maya's knowledge of the Magi exceeds her own."

Touji blinked. "But… during my training, Destro told me that Ritsuko knew everything about it."

Maya took a step forward. She was shaken badly. Meeting the master had always stressed her. "I-I was put into an eight month program like you were during my sleep." She grinned in a slightly catty manner. "Once I woke up, I could run rings around Sempai with the Magi."

"Wooowwww," Touji was impressed. "You know more about the system than Ritsuko? Got to tell you, that's amazing."

"Th-Thank you." Maya blushed. If it wasn't that Sempai was the only one she could love, Maya might have asked this good looking young man out.

"Everyone be seated," Shinji said coolly. It was time for business so each one took their seats. Shinji in the middle with Maya on the left and Touji on the right. "The Fifthteeth Angel arrives tomorrow. I'll use my talents to keep Rei and Asuka from synching with their Evas. Touji. Gendo most likely will order you to use either Unit 00 or 02 to fight the Angel so you can retrieve the Lance of Longinus to fight the Angel. Don't. Use your power to show that you are completely incompatible with either Eva. Gendo will have no choice but to employ Unit 01 to engage the Angel."

Touji nodded. As a good soldier, he would obey all orders.

Maya raised her hand, the universal sigh for confusion that all grade schoolers know. "But won't he just have you use the Lance of Longinus to fight the Angel?"

"Of course he will," Shinji shrugged. "But he's insane if he honestly thinks for one minute I'll obey him. I'll just block out all external transmissions to my Eva and handle the Angel on my own." Shinji chuckled quietly. "It will be no challenge. I could handle Arael even without Unit 01."

"But Master, he'll lock you up!" Maya yelled.

Shinji glared. "No one can imprison me! Understand girl?"

Maya sqarked like a terrified rabbit.

Shinji continued. "I know he'll put up a fuss but I think he'll be quite surprised with SEELE's decision to fire Misato and place me in charge of security at NERV."

Touji whistled. "I'm impressed again. How do you know SEELE'll do that?"

"Let's just say that three of their members are now much better people who will serve only me."

Touji rolled his eyes. "In other words: You kidnapped some and replaced them with clones that have all the original's memories but are loyal to you."

"But of course." Shinji answered proudly. "Gendo will place Misato as my subordinate so she could keep an eye on me. Touji. I have a mission for you but it will be difficult."

Touji frowned. "I'm ready for anything! What is it?"

Shinji smiled like the devil himself. "I need to show that Misato is unfit for command. That very night I dispose of the Angel, I want you to assassinate Kaji Ryouji. Do it discretely. I don't care if you make it messy just don't get caught or exposed. The death of her lover should be more than enough to shatter the young major."

Touji nodded. "I got it handled. I can use my powers to scramble any security cameras in his apartment and waste him in a second." Touji chuckled. "Heh heh heh. The red devil has a thing for Kaji. It's going to be fun taking a love one away from her." Touji smiled at the thought of Asuka's tears.

Maya shirked in her chair. People dying always disturbed her. Well… It wouldn't bother her if Gendo died.

Soon Shinji went on with their orders and his plans, only telling them the bare essentials, never the details.

**XXXXXXX**

The Fifteenth and Sixteenth Angels came, they saw, they died. During both attacks, Asuka and Rei were stymied that they could no longer synch with their Units but Shinji could. Rei was confused why she couldn't use her Eva while Asuka seemed almost humiliated. To make matters worst for her, Touji seemed able to synch with either of the two Evas with ease. The thought of Touji using her Eva seemed to make Asuka extremely bitter towards the Forth Child. It didn't seemed she could become more agitated until she learned Kaji had been strangled to death. The authorities confirmed that it was a simple robbery at his apartment.

Touji loved seeing Asuka wither in pain.

As expected, Misato was devastated with the loss of the man she loved. It was obvious that she could no longer handle her job at NERV and so Shinji became head of security. Gendo did order Misato to keep a watch over the Third Child but she could not. The day after Kaji's funeral, Misato went missing. It was a full eight days later that a cab was hoisted up from Tokyo Bay with her dead body in the driver's seat. It seemed obvious to everyone: Misato was so devastated over Kaji's death that she stole a cab while inebriated with alcohol, killed the owner with her own gun, and drove the cab off a pier into the bay where she drowned. Only Shinji and his private killer, Touji Suzuhara, knew what really happened to her.

Shinji knew that Misato needed to be put away so he sent Touji to kill her. Misato's death seemed to be neither mysterious nor suspicious. Unconscious, not dead, Misato was placed in a stolen checker cab that was driven off Pier 12 into the east bay. Its seat belt and doors were corroded shut by a chemical that was identical to rust. The major was drenched in booze, an empty bottle was found in her lap. The owner was killed with Misato's own gun even though she never pulled the trigger.

Touji had disgraced, destroyed, and murdered the greatest woman he had even known and did not care. Even killing a good woman like Misato was worth it if NERV would fall faster. What was truly horrible about the murder was that Touji enjoyed doing it.

Gendo Ikari continued working his organization as best as he could but found himself losing control. The Third Child constantly ignored orders in the Angel attacks, handling them his own way. It got so bad that Gendo considered having a Section 2 agent sneak into Shinji's private suite and kill him except SEELE personally forbid Gendo from taking such action.

It was the day after the Sixteenth Angel battle that Kozo Fuyutsuki died. On the record, it appeared that Fuyutsuki had fell in a subway and was hit by a train. Gendo knew it was all a setup, most likely masterminded by Shinji. The commander of NERV could take it no more and against orders from SEELE, ordered a hit on Shinji. That very night, Gendo was taken from his warm bed in his private suite to a cold dank jail cell within Terminal Dogma. Leaving Shinji virtually unchallenged as the new commander of NERV.

Gendo had spent a full week in his cell when Kaworu Nagisa arrived as the Fifth Child.

Kaworu was pretty surprised by what he saw at NERV. None of the decrees of the Dead Sea Scrolls came true. The First Child had yet to die and come back, the Second was not in the dark sleep, the Forth had not fallen while the Third…

To be frank, Kaworu didn't know what to think about him. Shinji was neither Angel nor man. But according to the sacred scrolls, it did not mattered what Shinji was. Only one thing mattered. Shinji was the one who would decide whither humanity lived or died. It was as the scrolls said.

Little did Kaworu knew how he would suffer for following the scrolls.

**XXXXXXX**

Kaworu stood in front of the silent Unit 02, its repairs finally completed. It was time for Shinji to be tested. "Come Adam's dark shadow! Servant of the Lillim!"

The Eva made no response.

"Awaken killer of Angels!"

Still the Eva did not activate.

Kaworu didn't know what to do. The Dead Sea Scrolls said that Lillim's own weapon would be used against them by the Seventieth. Despite this, the Eva would not respond to his will. Kaworu grew desperate. He tried summoning Unit 00 but it could not respond to him.

Kaworu was confused. Up until now, everything the Dead Sea Scrolls said was true. So it was written, so shall it be! The Dead Sea Scrolls COULDN'T be wrong!

The Angel took a breath to steady his nerves. Even without the use of the Eva, Kaworu could still force Shinji to make a choice. Activating his AT Field, Kaworu flew down the corridors of NERV. Passing what seemed to be miles of tunnels, he finally made it to the main section of Terminal Dogma. Beyond the large metal gate he stood before was Adam, the First Angel. Focusing his AT Field upon the door, Kaworu Nagisa tore the door off its hinges. It was time. Pass these doors was Adam crucified to the Lillim's cross. There was also another presence in there. It was Shinji Ikari. Kaworu didn't know how he knew it was Shinji but he knew.

Kaworu floated into the chamber expecting to see the captured Adam. What he saw was something totally different. It was a red circular being, over nine hundred feet in diameter with a large yellow eye in the center. The large creature was staying still inside a gigantic class jar with countless computers at the base. It reminded Kaworu of Souron's evil eye from 'Lord of the Rings' only on a much larger scale.

"Magnificent. Don't you think so, Tabris?" came a voice from above.

Kaworu looked up and saw Shinji standing on a metal catwalk thirty feet up from the ground. "It is impressive, Third Child. You have constructed something that rivals an Angel's power. You Lillim's deserve my empathy."

Shinji cocked an eye. "Say what now?"

"I'm saying I love you."

There was a slightly angry look on Shinji's face as he cracked his knuckles. "You know, I was originally going to give you the chance to join my army but after that remark, I think I'm going to make sure you die screaming."

Kaworu shook his head sadly. "That doesn't matter Shinji. I don't want to fight you… I don't want to fight anyone… but," Kaworu sighed. "I must. As it is written, so shall it be. Just answer me one thing. What have you done with the Angel that was here?"

"I killed it," Shinji said simply. Kaworu's jaw dropped. "It was two days ago actually. My scientists informed me that the little beauty here was finished." Shinji gestured towards the giant eye monster. "And I needed some place for it so I figured why not Terminal Dogma? I didn't need the Second Angel to make LCL any more. I have a machine that's been cloning the Angel's blood. As you can see, Lilith was doing nothing but using up room. Room that would be far better housing my new bio-weapon. It's designated Hellspawn Unit 01. Do you like the name? Since the Angels were created in the Heavenly outer space, the monsters created on the low Earth would be considered fallen Angels. I prefer the term Hellspawn. This is a clone of my own creation. What do you think of it? Does it seem familiar?"

Kaworu stared hard at the monster. He couldn't understand what he was feeling from the creature but there was a feeling of family coming from the bio-weapon. "I-It's…Leliel? This monster is the Twelfth Angel?"

"Not quite but close," Shinji's opinion of Tabris went up. Slightly. "It's actually a clone of the Twelfth with a few Jenova cells thrown in. I created this monster to keep the world in line. You see Tabris, I know after you die, SEELE will launch their mass produced Evas in an effort to capture the Second Angel which they don't know is already destroyed." Shinji had a special glow in his eyes. "I wish I could see their faces when I launch Spawn Unit 01."

"SEELE will think that they misread the Dead Sea Scrolls and assume this… creature is the Eightieth Angel. You would cause mass panic within the council of SEELE." Kaworu puffed out his chest. "But you'll still fail. The mass produced Evas could handle this fake easily!"

Shinji nodded cheerfully. "They could IF this monster was suppose to fight them. I'll activate the Hellspawn's dimensional powers to teleport it into the atmosphere. The Evas will automatically go after it. At this point I'll activate its dimensional gateways that come from Leliel." Shinji dropped the cheerfulness and looked dangerous. "All the Evas will be drawn into a dimension whose gravity is a thousand times greater than Earth's. If the Evas aren't smashed into tiny cubes within the first ten minutes there, I'll be impressed."

Kaworu took a step back in fear. Despite this terror, he still stood strong and proud. "There's still the army the Council have sent with the Evas. They can conquer you within the day!"

"They could… if they were going to attack me." Shinji smiled with a grin not unlike the devil. "I imagine it will be quite a surprise to not only SEELE but all the soldiers when their superiors order them all to stand down and set up permanent camp here."

Kaworu gasped. "You monster! You made deals with the army to subjugate the world!"

Shinji waggled a finger. "Your deduction is correct. Only a couple generals who just so happen to command the troops SEELE will be sent here. Since they follow me, I'll see to it that they all receive their own territories to rule however they choose. SEELE won't be a problem to me. I've already replace replaced three of them with personal clones who'll follow me."

Kaworu started breathing a little harder. "Even if SEELE can't stop you, the UN will! They would never allow a monster like you to rule!"

Shinji laughed quietly. Despite its low volume, the tone spoke a horrid truth. "Heh… How true that is but you must know I have planned for that eventuality. Do you think Spawn Unit 01 is the only monster I've made? I already have three more in the incubation stage. If there is any nation that opposes my new organization, ShinJa, well… heh… let's say that I won't feel any obligation to protect them from any horrible 'Angels' that will attack them. I plan to destroy a country or two, just to show the world they need me to 'protect' them. France is first then Canada."

"Extorting countries to serve you," Kaworu glared. "You seek to rule the world!"

"Wrong. I seek all worlds."

Kaworu assumed an attack position, his AT Field raising. "I won't let you! This world is to follow the path laid out in the sacred scrolls by the will of the Creator! Your very presence contaminates the natural order!" Kaworu's force field blazed brighter. "No matter what the cost, I'll stop you!"

Shinji smiled evilly. "Doubtful."

Shinji leapt off the catwalk and vanished. The next thing Kaworu knew, he was kicked and sent flying across Terminal Dogma, skidding on the ground. Kaworu sat up in a daze. "What… was that?"

"The first strike of many to come." Shinji appeared on the ground, his trenchcoat flowing in the air. "I would enjoy taking my time fighting you, Tabris, except I have a test to oversee. So do pardon me for ending this fight early." Shinji reached behind and grabbed the handle to his monstrous sword. It had a long silver blade, over five feet. "Take heart that you will provide quite a bit of research to my scientists."

Kaworu realized that Shinji was getting ready to finish him off despite not feeling any energy being used. "You can't beat me if you don't channel your energy into your weapon, you fool!"

Shinji smiled as he gripped the handle then throwing the sword like a javelin at super sonic speeds. Kaworu raised his AT Field to its maximum strength. Despite that the sword wasn't empowered, the Fifth Child would be prepared for anything. Anything, except the sword passing through the Field without slowing down.

"NOOOOO!" Kaworu screamed as the sword pierced him, impaling him through the chest. The momentum Shinji threw his sword continued. Kaworu was flung across Terminal Dogma for two hundred feet with the sword stacking out of him. He smashed into a metal wall, the sword moving so deep that the hilt was pressed against his chest.

"H-H-How?" Kaworu gasped, blood trickling down his mouth. "Ma-My AT… Field couldn't even… slow it down…"

Shinji walked up to him, his trenchcoat flowing like a cape. "It's my sword. A marvelous weapon isn't it. I have been quite content with it during all my battles so I had no need to improve it… That is until I saw the Lance of Longinus. After I killed Lilith with an energy blast, I found the lance imbedded in her chest was not even scratched. I decided to melt the lance down, adding the metal to my sword and reforging it into a greater weapon that can cut through any AT Field!" Shinji laughed as he gripped his sword handle and yanked the sword out. It slid out of the wall and through Kaworu's chest before he put the sword back in its sheath.

Kaworu fell to the ground. His body was in so much agony that he couldn't stand. His vision was blurry from both the pain and blood lost. He could barely make out the sight of Shinji mauling over some thought in his mind.

"You know, Tabris? I was originally going to call my scientists to pick you up but I think I have enough Angel DNA to work with. Your S2 organ is still useful but I don't need you alive to remove it." Shinji smiled sinisterly. "Good bye, Tabris." Shinji held out his right hand. Crackles of white energy began blazing. Shinji had an insane look in his eyes. "Form… Blazing Sword!" A white energy blade formed hand.

"Wh-What?" Kaworu gasped at the five foot long spirit sword Shinji created.

Shinji looked annoyed. "For someone who appreciates human culture, you sure don't know anything about the classics." Shinji slashed his energy sword and decapitated Kaworu, his head rolling on the floor.

Shinji opened his hand, dispursing the energy sword. He reached inside his trenchcoat and pulled out a cell phone. "Maya? Shinji here. Have a bio-hazard team come down to the incubation chamber and pick up the remains of this Angel. I want its S2 organ to be removed by morning; I don't care what you do to the rest of the body. Yes, yes. I know about the First and Second Child arriving here to engage the Angel. Tell security to escort them to their respected Evas. I'll allow them to synch with their robots so they can fight the 'Angel'. Tell Touji to get ready to engage them. This is his final test. If he passes, he'll serve as my acolyte and if not, he dies."

Shinji turned off his cell phone and put it back in his jacket. He looked at the monster sitting in the giant jar for a moment before walking towards the command center. "Well Suzuhara, it's time to see if those two years of training I put you through paid off." Shinji had a rather cheerful smile on his lips. Whatever the outcome of Touji's test would be, one thing was sure.

It is going to be one HELL of a fight!

**XXXXXXX**

Touji Suzuhara stood alone in the massive dark corridors of NERV. He was dressed in a special tailor made black dogi with the sleeves torn off. His muscular arms were crossed over his firm chest. The area he stood in was over eight hundred feet underground. It was the corridors that an Eva would have to take to reach the central incubation chamber where the Second Angel once was once imprisoned. The tunnel had enough room for over twenty Evas to walk side by side each other for two miles.

Touji was here for his final test. He had to destroy Eva Unit 00 and 01 all by himself. Touji has been dreaming of this everyday when he slept during his training. This would be the day all debts would be settled. His sister would be avenge with Rei's death while Asuka's would bring Kensuke's spirit the vengeance he deserved.

Twin sets of rumbles were heard in the distance. Rei and Asuka were coming here to attack the Seventeenth Angel. Little did they know that Shinji had already dispatched Tabris. That didn't matter to this battle. The two female Pilots would fight an Angel and that Angel would be Touji Suzuhara.

Unit 00 and 01 came within view, perfectly repaired and their Umbilical Cords supply them with power. There was something different about them. Something that only Touji could sense. He couldn't quite tell what it was but something was slightly different about the Evas.

Asuka spotted Touji from her cockpit. She activated the speaker system. Her shrilling voice rang out all throughout the mile long tunnel. "Well well, if it isn't Shinji's little buddy," Asuka said mockingly. "I guess you are as stupid as I though. Imagine: Going after an Angel without an Eva! Tsk! You've always been a screw up Forth, so sit back and let a real Pilot handle the Angel."

Rei's voice came up, much calmer than her teammate's. "Pilot Suzuhara, you should head towards Unit 03 and back us up."

"WE DON'T NEED HIS HELP!" Asuka snapped. "I lost my rightful kills for the last two Angels and I won't lose this one!" She glared at Touji. "Just tell me where it's at, Forth! Point in its direction!"

Touji had enough of listening to the two women who hurt him so. He pulled out a tiny receiver from a pocket and turned it on. There was a grim look of determination on his face. "The Angel, your killer, is right here." Saying so, Touji started floating up to the Eva's waist, sixty feet high.

Both Pilot's jaws dropped.

Asuka was speechless for the first time in her life. "You're… an Angel?"

Even Rei was shocked. "Impossible…"

"Anything is possible if the hate is strong enough."

Touji started the attack. He flew at his maximum speed, appearing behind the two Evas in seconds. He concentrated his energy and fired two energy blasts at each Eva's Umbilical Cords, cutting their power off. Each Eva turned and started swinging with their Progressive Knives. Touji buzzed about them; planning to attack once their backup powers were depleted.

Asuka grew frustrated. "You annoying fly! Come back here and fight!"

Just to add insult to humiliation, Touji sent a radio transmission to Unit 02. "You're pathetic Asuka! You can't do anything right! You couldn't even protect Kaji!"

"DON'T YOU MENTION HIS NAME!" Unit 02 threw its knife, hoping to nail Touji in mid-flight. She failed and was now minus a weapon. "You aren't half the man he was, you freak!"

Touji whistled just to mock Asuka as he continue flying. "Wow… even Kaji wasn't that bitchy when I killed him."

Asuka's Eva stopped dead. "What…?"

"I said 'even Kaji wasn't that bitchy when I killed him.'" Touji shrugged.

Rei said nothing as she stopped her Eva beside her teammate. Asuka had yet to move robot since receiving the news. Asuka's voice came through the radio. She was in shock. "You're lying… I know you are. You didn't… you couldn't have killed Kaji." Asuka said in a trembling voice.

Touji smirked. "I did."

"YOU'RE LYING!" Asuka howled.

"Afraid not." Touji tapped his receiver, sending out a new message. "Hello Central? Transmit the video-feed into each Eva."

In the command center, there were Shinji sitting at the commander's table with Maya and two new females at the bridge who bore an uncanny resemblance to Ranko and Nabiki Tendo. Hyuga and Aoba were killed right after Misato's funeral and so they were replaced with workers whose genes showed excellent signs of computer expertise.

Maya heard Touji's transmission. "Master! Touji is requesting we send a video transmission!"

Shinji smiled. "Patch it through." Shinji was against the idea of having evidence that showed one of his soldiers committing a crime but Touji talked him into it. He said it would be the perfect thing to drive Asuka insane.

On the battlefield, Asuka and Rei both received a transmission showing Kaji entering his apartment and finding Suzuhara wanting for him. The super spy was confused why Touji was there. It wasn't until Touji activated his orange AT Field that Kaji realized he was going to die. Activating his AT Field by tightening his fist, Touji caused a force field to appear around Kaji's neck. And in a moment of pure Darth Vader evilness, Touji choked Kaji from across the room.

Touji smiled as he pictured the sorrowful look on Asuka's face. "And you know what else, Asuka? I ENJOYED IT!"

There was no response for Unit 02.

Touji was ready to dig the nail in a little deeper when he picked up an emergency transmission from Maya. "Touji! Asuka's synch ratio is climbing! 55%! 69% 82% 98%!"

Suddenly there was an anguished scream from Unit 02. The howl echoed throughout the corridor; Touji gasped as fear grew in his heart. That fear was justified. Asuka dove forward so fast that Touji didn't see the punch until it was too late. His AT Field took the blunt of the attack but he was still flung over two hundred meters back. Steadying himself in midair, Touji concentrated his AT Filed but before he could launch a counter attack, the two Evas attacked him.

Touji started zipping through the air but at every turn he made, the two Evas countered his every move. Moving in perfect synchronization like they did against the Seventh Angel, the two attacked Touji with utter ruthlessness. All the cockiness Touji showed instantly vanished as the fight no longer was a matter of vengeance but of personal survival.

Rei activated her Eva's AT Field and began surrounding Touji's, nearly cracking his personal force field.

"D-Damnit Ayanami!" Touji strained through clenched teeth. "STOP IT!"

The red Eva charged forward, wanting to grab Touji and slowly squeeze his bones into powder. Touji's will proved too strong and he flew a hundred feet higher. Asuka counter by expanding her AT Field over Touji's, canceling his out. Touji dropped like a rock. He barely had the strength to restart his flight powers, saving his life.

Touji felt exhausted. He had been fighting against the two Evas for nearly ten minutes. Ten minutes? "Waitaminute? How's this possible? Their five minutes of backup power has to be over!"

The tiny radio receiver picked up a transmission. It was Maya. "Suzuhara! The Evas are currently running on artificial energy batteries!"

Touji gagged, barely handling the blows from the Evas. "WHAT DID YOU *dodge* SAY?! HOW CAN *swipe* THEY HAVE S2 *barrel roll* ORGANS?! I THOUGHT *tuck and roll* ONLY SHINJI COULD CREATE *energy blast* S2 ORGANS!"

Shinji's voice came through the radio. He sounded as confident as ever. "Technically they aren't S2 organs since they have a finite lifespan. What these two are operating on are just special batteries I had install."

"WHAT?! WHY?!" Touji shouted as he zoomed downward, barely avoiding a death strike from Rei.

"As I said Touji, this is a test. I know you have great power but what I want is skill, obedience, and dedication. You have proven that you have two of these traits. I figured the best way to test your skill was to… Look out! Their going to double team you with their AT Fields!" Touji change course, just missing the two blasts by a fraction of an inch. "As I was saying. To test your skill, I decided to… remove the limitation that their Umbilical Cords gave them." Touji could hear Shinji smiling cheerfully on the other side. "Good luck, Touji! Hope you survive! If you win, feel free to do whatever you want to the Pilots!"

"…" said Touji. He was so shocked that he made the mistake of slowing down. The two Evas expanded their AT Fields, hoping to crush Suzuhara into bits. Against one AT Field, Touji had a good chance of winning. Even if the two AT Fields belonged to rookie Pilots, he could triumph. But against the two greatest Evangelion Pilots ever, Touji stood no chance.

His force field under constant assault, Touji began buckling under the intense pressure. His field started cracking causing a massive backlash. Touji screamed. Every inch of his body felt like it was fire. Touji dropped to the ground, nearly breaking one of his ribs.

Mustering the last ounces of his physical strength, Touji lifted himself on the ground. The two Evas loomed over him threatening. Touji had a dead and tired expression on his face. Now the fight had dragged for nearly fifteen minutes. He was exhausted. Touji had no one to blame but himself. He threw around far too much energy during the first part of the body. Touji was on the verge of a defeat of his own making.

Asuka's voice came through the intercom. "I'm going to hurt you, Forth," she said coldly. "You took away the only man I ever loved. You took the only thing I cared about from me. I'm going to hurt you for this." Asuka spoke without any emotion, just pure hate. "You sister… I'm going to take your sister away from you…"

"YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!" Touji shouted from the ground, blood gushing out his mouth. He was prepared to die to destroy NERV if that is what it took. Touji had sacrificed much to get where he was. He sold his freedom to Shinji for the chance of vengeance. He forced himself into two years of the most monstrous training he had ever suffered. Touji even gave up his conscience when he murdered Misato and Kaji. He was willingly serving under a mad man who wanted to enslave the world. But there was one thing he could not give up: His sister.

Touji glared at his enemies. "I don't care what it takes, even if it kills me." There was cold determination written on his face. "I'm taking you with me, you worthless bitches!"

Touji took a stance with his legs spread apart and his arms held straight up. An orange baseball size ball of energy formed between his hands. The energy continue building up, growing to the size of a basketball.

Communication passed between Rei and Asuka. "Pilot Souryu. The Angel is building up a large amount of energy."

Asuka nodded and spoke to the monitor that showed Rei. "He's going Kamikaze on us. Raise your AT Field with me." The ball was the size of a car. "If we combine both Fields, we should have enough protection from the attack."

"Understood," Rei responded. The energy was now the size of a house.

Each Eva activated their AT force fields, expecting Touji to throw the massive power sphere at them. Touji did the opposite, surprising them. He started absorbing the large energy ball into himself.

Asuka blinked. "What's he doing? Sending the energy back into his S2 organ?"

Rei checked her instilments. "No. He's absorbing the energy into his body."

"What's the difference?"

"Despite having an S2 organ, Suzuhara is human. What he's doing is soaking the energy into his very body."

"What effect will that have?"

Rei ponder this question. "Most likely he'll cause an explosion, triggering the destruction of not only his S2 organ but us with him."

"AT FIELD TO MAXIMUM!"

Touji didn't pay attention to his foes. He was too busy dealing with the pain. He closed his eyes, focusing his attention internally. Every muscle in his body felt ready to explode. Each passing second, Touji could feel his body coming closer and closer to exploding. Finally the last iota of power was soaked in. Touji stood perfectly still, letting the energy flow through him. A short moment passed as Touji let the energy course through his body.

Touji opened his eyes. "Incredible."

There was an explosion but instead of killing Touji, he was surrounded by a gold energy field. The golden light soaked into Touji's body, starting the changes that would seal Rei and Asuka's doom. His eyes turned green like emeralds. His black hair shined golden blond, standing straight up. He conveyed a look of unlimited power. Touji had an evil smirk. "The sleeper is awaken. At last, I am the prince of all warriors once again!"

Rei's jaw dropped. "His power's reading off the scale"

"Oh, please!" Asuka said snidely. "What kind of Angel has bleach blond hair?"

"The dangerous kind." He raised his hand and fired a golden blast that cleaved Unit 02's right arm off at the shoulder. Her AT Field was useless against the attack.

"ARRRRR!" Asuka screamed as she held her still there arm. The Eva was sending her false messages telling her that her arm was gone.

Unit 00 dove forward, hoping to fall onto the now super Arch Angel. Touji smirked. Compared to him, the Eva was moving in slow motion. Once the Eva was mere inches from landing on him, Touji vanished. The Eva smashed ungracefully into the metal floor, leaving an Eva size dent.

Touji reappeared far up over the Eva. Touji's cold green eyes board into the Eva. "You hurt my sister." He held out his hands, building up energy. He aimed at the Eva's back. "Burn in Hell." He fired, blasting a hole with a thirty feet diameter at the robot's chest, disintegrating the Entry Plug and Rei into ash.

Asuka gasped. "REEEIIIIIIIII!" she screamed her name for the first time, forgetting to call her Wonderdoll. She had her Eva stand tall and proud despite missing an arm. "Monster! I'll kill you!" Asuka had her Eva expand its AT Field, hoping it would be enough to kill the Angel. She expanded her AT Field, surrounding her robot. This AT Field protected her against the laser whips of the Forth Angel. The AT Field that gave her safety against the burning magma from the battle with the Eighth Angel. This AT Field was so strong that she was able to hold back the massive power of the Tenth Angel.

Touji could feel this great power… and laughed. "Feather weight." Touji tapped into his now golden AT Field and expanded it. Really expanded it. Touji created a circular field with a diameter of over nine hundred feet. It smashed into Unit 02, sending it flying down the corridor a half mile.

Far down the corridor, the shattered Unit 02 laid lifeless on the metal floor. Its chest plate was no longer shaped like a torso but flat like a brick. The mess of metal and Angel meat crushed and compacted so tight that Asuka's Entry Plug was strained under far too much pressure. The Second Child moaned. She felt like she was a victim of a head on collision with a semi. Never in her life as a Pilot had she ever been attack with such incredible force, all from a single shot.

Her computers were shot; unable to give her any information on the target but one thing was clear. Her Eva was useless against Touji's new super transformation. Her ears tingled. She heard a noise. Than another and another. Each sound growing from a tiny ping to a horrible sound not unlike meat being torn apart. It reminded Asuka of a cow being butchered. The answer was obvious: Touji was taking the Eva's chest apart with his bare hands: bit by bit, chunk by chunk, and part by part.

Suddenly the front of her Entry Plug was torn free, pouring LCL out. Holding the twelve foot piece of metal in one hand was Touji, glaring at Asuka hatefully. He looked down at Asuka like a god towards a mortal.

"It's time Asuka," Touji said calmly. "It's time that you pay for murdering Kensuke."

"Kill me than," Asuka said defiantly. "I'll see you in Hell, Forth."

Touji chuckled. "You have no idea how right you are, bitch. Every night during my training, I thought how I was going to make you suffer. It wasn't until a match with Magneto in my second year did I get the perfect idea. That stupid glitch went on and on about the horrors of mutant slavery and I thought how perfect that idea suited a proud German like you."

"I'LL NEVER SERVE YOU!" Asuka screamed, fear evident in her voice.

Touji smiled very cruelly. "I'm going to have to disagree with you. Shinji has so many nice toys that can break anyone. I believe he said he was going to give a few of these to Maya to use on Ritsuko."

"Dr. Akagi's been capture too?!"

Touji nodded, enjoying the sense of loss Asuka suffered. "But I wouldn't worry about her. You've got your own problems to deal with." Touji said cheerfully as he grabbed Asuka's throat a little tightly. Everything went black for Asuka.

**XXXXXXX**

Three months passed. Everything Shinji predicted to happen had happened. SEELE sent a large army to take over NERV HQ but all the soldiers stopped firing under orders from their commanders and joined the forces at NERV. Keele was more angered than surprised by the army's actions and launched the Mass Produced Evas. Shinji counterattacked by activating Spawn Unit 01 which actually caused Keele to have a fatal heart attack when he saw it decend from the sky. All of SEELE's Evas were instantly swallowed into the Spawn's dimension, destroying them in seconds. There was no doubt about it, SEELE had failed.

Days later, the remaining SEELE members were also in trouble. Since they no longer expected to exist by this time, they had to deal with all their costs. It cost them billions to make their personal Evas and with their destruction, SEELE found themselves actually bankrupt. No longer able to pay soldiers for protection, it was surprisingly simple for Shinji to have assassins murder the ones who were not clones.

With the army serving him, the government follow him, the planet terrified that the 'Angels' still existed, and SEELE gone, there was no doubt. Shinji had conquered the world. It would be the first of many to come.

**XXXXXXX**

Touji was at his computer desk in his private suite. He had come a far ways from the black dogi and the military barracks. He was dressed in a red silk Chinese shirt and black silk pants that were as comfortable as his suite was marvelous. It have four king size rooms and two full bathrooms. The kitchen was fully stocked with enough food to feed Touji for a month. Ever since he achieved Arch Angel stasis, his apatite skyrocketed. He was eating over four times his daily food requirement and had not gain an ounce of excess fat.

Touji found himself enjoying his new life. As a 'field operative' for the new ShinJa, once called NERV, Touji's job was simple. He would go out an do a special 'natural disaster' such as sinking a royal ship or presidential airplanes. They weren't difficult jobs; deep down, Touji was missing the difficult battles he received during his training. According to Shinji, it would be several more months before they headed off into space and conquer planets out there.

His computer beeped. Touji hit the button and Maya Ibuki showed up, ShinJa's expert on the MAGI. She was as pretty as ever. Her body, however, had changed much in the last three months. Her breasts were much fuller, easily D cups. They pushed hard against the fabric of her uniform. Her thighs and hips were curvy, every man's delight. All the results of Shinji's genejack techniques. A sexier body was one of the things Maya wanted in exchange for serving Shinji. She smiled at Touji. "Hello Touji. I'm just calling you that Master Shinji is close to finishing Unit X. He expects you at the training facility to test it out tomorrow."

Touji nodded. "Understood Maya. Tell me, how's your pet doing?"

Maya smile brighten. "Oh, Ritsuko's doing just fine. I unchained her this morning and she's just been lying around my suite. You should see the cute catsuit I bought her. It's just like the one from 'Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland'! She's soooo adorable when she wears it and purrs!"

Touji had to a force a fake smile. While dealing with Shinji was always slightly tough, Touji didn't even WANT to deal with Maya face-to-face. It may sound strange considering his power but Touji was a little afraid of Maya. She had this warped obsession with Ritsuko that made her want to 'own' the doctor. Three months ago after SEELE was dispatched, Shinji released Ritsuko from prison into Maya's care.

That's when Ritsuko's torment began. Once they came to Maya's luxury suite, Ritsuko was taken to a special room that Maya had built. There she strapped to a rack and disciplined everyday. When Touji first heard of what Maya was doing, he was a little excited so he went over to Maya's to see if he could watch her little bondage show.

What Touji saw was more horrifying than he thought possible.

When he opened Maya's door, Touji was greeted with Ritsuko's screams. In the special discipline room, Maya was wearing a black leather dominatrix outfit and punishing the strapped down naked Ritsuko with a whip. Torture would have been a better word than punishing. Ritsuko had literally hundreds of whip marks and welts from the long hours Maya disciplined her. There were numerous burns brought about from long days of electro-shock therapy.

When Maya saw Touji was there, she apologized for her outfit but not what she was doing to Ritsuko. Before leaving to discuss some business with Touji, Maya hooked a metal paddle to Ritsuko's crotch and set the machine to shock her every ten seconds with hundreds of volts. When the two stepped out, what followed was a sick mental program Maya enforced upon Dr. Akagi. After every shock, Ritsuko would automatically yell 'Forgive me, Mistress! I'm a bad kitty!' despite being alone in the torture chamber.

Maya would smile and say that she enjoyed listening to her kitty's screams while she relaxed. During the next ten minutes, Maya would go into detail over the different S&M educational methods she used with her 'pet'. Shock therapy, drug usage like valium and morphine, and the constant whippings were all regular parts of Maya's teachings.

Touji couldn't leave that place fast enough.

Ever since than, Touji has always gone out of his way to avoid Maya. The last he heard, she finally broke Ritsuko. The poor woman's mind was reduced to the same as a new born kitten. For the last two weeks, Ritsuko had been crawling on all fours around Maya's suite wearing dozens of cat lingerie everyday. Maya Ibuki had destroyed the mind of one of the most brilliant woman alive in a sick idea of love and lust.

Touji continued his fake smile. "That's great, Maya. I'll head towards ShinJa HQ tomorrow for the testing." Maya ended her computer transmission.

Touji got up from his computer to stretch. His throat felt dry and he smiled. "Asuka! Fetch me a glass of water!"

Within seconds, the red headed German woman entered Touji's computer room carrying a glass of water. She was dressed in a sexy French Maid outfit that seemed more like lingerie. She had on tight fishnet stalkings that revealed all the curves on her long legs. She was wearing a tight apron whose straps hugged her skin perfectly. The mini-skirt was far too short, only centimeters longer than her black lacy panties. A cute bonnet covered her fiery hair. French Maid Asuka handed Touji the water. "Here's your beverage Master Touji," she spoke in a honey tone.

Touji grinned and took the drink. "Wonderful Asuka. Now go wash the dish."

"Yes, Master Touji." Asuka replied automatically before heading to the kitchen. While her movements were calm and orderly, her soul was on fire. No matter how she fought, she could not regain control. It was like she who is Asuka was buried deep in the mind, able to see and think but not able to do anything else. She could remember that dreadful day three months ago when she had a computer chip implanted in her brain. Since than, she's been Touji sexy maid; her body more developed due to Shinji's experiments. She didn't mind the physical changes at all. It was what the bastard did to her mind that made her want to kill Touji even more.

Asuka had been reduced to Touji's personal servant. Any commands he gave were immediately obeyed. Asuka, the proud woman from Germany, the Pilot of the grand Unit 02, a college graduate, was reduced to nothing but a slave for the rest of her life. There was no chance she could retake control of her puppet body, the chip kept it from happening. If she could cry, she would. She no longer cared if someone thought less of her for it. She was already a ruin woman.

If there was a Hell, Asuka could not imagine it worst than this.

**XXXXXXX**

At the new organization charged with protecting the world from the Angels, ShinJa, Gendo Ikari sat in his prison. For three months, he had been locked away from society, a prisoner of his son. Much had happen since Gendo was locked in the cell. He was not give the luxury to care for his appearance. His hair was a mess of tangles and ugly curls. His beard had grown too much, reaching down the chest. His face was dirty; his glasses long since taken away. The man once in charge of protecting the world looked like a wild man, a savage who cared for nothing but food.

No food had come today, only a bowl of water. Gendo lapped the water with his tongue, like a dog. He could not afford to spill any by picking up the bowl with his bad hand. His stronger hand, the one that absorbed Adam, was gone. About a week ago, Shinji walked into his cell, pulled out his sword, and lopped it off. Shinji picked the hand up and destroyed it with a small white fire blast. Gendo didn't notice this though, he was too busy screaming.

He would have bled to death if it wasn't for Shinji immediately stopping the bleed. The commander of ShinJa just snapped his fingers and a blue light appeared over Gendo's arm, immediately ending the bleeding. Gendo's arm was still missing but now the wound looked like it had been healing for a month. He would have question Shinji over this except the man instantly walked out, locking the prison door.

A week passed without seeing another person. This bothered Gendo. He could think of no reason why Shinji would lock him away unless his son had a need for him. There was a sound at the door. It opened up and two women walked in. Gendo's jaw dropped.

The two women were twins. Their was not a single difference between them. That wasn't what surprised him. Each one was Rei, several years older. Their figures had filled out, making them look incredible appealing. Their breasts were larger, their hips more firm. Their clothing seemed more erotic than functional. Each one was wearing the white Plug Suit except they were missing over seventy percent of the fabric. Their mid sections were exposed, showing their belly buttons. Covering themselves were bikini bottoms and a tight white top that reached from the neck and down to the very bottom of the breasts. Each one had a Roman numeral written just above the breasts. The first Rei had XV written while the other had XXII. They wore white leather shin high boots with high heels. Their delicate hands had on gloves that ended just at their elbows.

"Prison Ikari," Rei XV said in a monotone voice. "Come with us."

"No…" Gendo said coldly. He had enough. Three months of isolation with measly scraps of food given every other day was enough to drive even the strongest man berserk. Gendo jumped up, hoping to tackle one of the Reis and escape. Instead he was frozen in place by an orange energy barrier. "An AT Field?!"

Neither Rei responded to him. Rei XXII tighten the AT Field, sending painful jolts into Gendo's body. He screamed in agony. Neither Rei seemed to care. XXII deactivating her AT Field and dropped Gendo to the ground. "You will not be told to again. Follow us."

Gendo, not wanting to experience another painful jolt, obeyed. He followed the two ladies across the compound. Much had changed in the last three months he was locked away. There were more military soldiers at security than before. Oddly enough, it seemed as if every office worker he saw was a beautiful woman and more strangely, many seemed to be twins, triplets, and even quintuplets. The products of gene therapy.

Gendo saw Maya Ibuki looking smugly at him. That is, he thought it was Maya. She wasn't that busty according to his memory. They turned another corner and Gendo saw more of the adult Reis, two with the numbers VI and XX written on them.

Finally, Gendo was headed into an elevator. Each Rei stood on his side. They descended for a full minute. The three had gone down thirty stories beneath the surface. When the doors opened, Gendo came into a moving ramp. The farther they went, the less light there was in the dark corridor.

Finally Gendo could take it no longer. "Where are you taking me?"

Neither Rei responded. Suddenly a voice rang out. It was Shinji's. "Bring him here."

"Yes, master." Both Rei's said automatically. They did so.

Gendo was ushered in to a dark command room. The lights came back on. The room was an exact model of his old command room with all the monitors turned off. In the commander's chair was Shinji, wearing the black leather outfit he always wore. "XV and XXII, leave."

The two Rei clones bowed their heads and left with their master's permission.

Shinji laughed quietly. "ReiBeasts. They make useful sentries but lousy warriors. That's why I made all their AT Fields so weak. Touji could have handle them before he learn how to transform into his new super form. I must thank you for creating all those. All I had to change about them was just a gene or two plus some accelerated aging."

"Why am I here?" Gendo cut to the chase. He didn't have time for his son's cheerful mannerism. "Tell me."

"Very well. I brought you here to witness the first of a new form of Eva."

Shinji hit a button and the monitors showed an Eva unlike any Gendo ever created. At first, it bared a resemblance to the possessed Unit 03 with its black coloring but it was quite different. Its arms were built much more muscular, like the Third Angel's arms were, fully powered. The hands seemed like the other Eva's hands except in each palm were large blue diamonds about twice the size of a man. They instantly reminded Gendo of the Fifth Angel and bet they were miniature clones integrated into the Eva. With them, the Eva could fire massive energy blasts like the Fifth Angel could. Its legs were also muscular but instead of the shoe style feet a regular Eva had, this Unit had feet like talons. Right there on the chest was an S2 organ in all its glory. The odd thing was that it didn't look artificial like SEELE's were. It looked… natural.

Shinji looked at the Eva with great pride. "Behold the most powerful Evangelion ever! Eva-X! While other Evas were clones of the first two Angels, this one is a clone of the Fourteenth! Of course, I have added in genes and parts from the Fifth and Sixtieth Angels as well. This Unit can do everything they could, even launch a massive psychic attack that's capable of raping the minds of millions of people at once. It's also the first Eva that's space worthy, able to travel to any planet."

Gendo eyed the S2 organ suspiciously. "Where did you acquire the S2 organ for it?"

Shinji smiled. He was going to enjoy this. "I removed for Unit 01. The process ended up destroying the Eva."

Gendo's heart sunk. "No… you're lying."

"Afraid not." Shinji hit a button and a monitor show Unit 01 losing its S2 organ to a handful of ShinJa scientists. After the Angelic generator was removed, the Eva became reactivated. "Unit 01 didn't want to give up what was rightfully hers, so she became activated."

Unit 01 came free from its restraints, scaring all the scientists that were working on it.

"Fortunately, I was there to handle any problems."

The monitor showed Shinji powering up a massive blast and with one shot, totally disintegrated Unit 01.

Fear came to Gendo's voice. "Yui…" He looked at Shinji no longer the cold man he once was. At that moment, Gendo appeared to aged so many years. He looked at his son, his eyes pleading. "It's a lie… it has to be," he said quietly. "You didn't kill Yui… you couldn't kill her."

"I did," Shinji quipped.

Gendo did something that he had never done before in his whole life. He cried. "Y-Yui was in there… I can't see her now." He fell to his knees, no longer proud enough to stand. "Wh-why did you do that? You have the power to do anything," his voice dropped to a whisper. "You didn't have to kill her… you could have rescued her from Eva."

"I could have, couldn't I?" Shinji nodded. "But I didn't do it for one reason: I didn't need to save her life."

Tears streamed down Gendo's face. "She loved you, Shinji… how could you kill your mother?"

"Haven't you figured it out that I really don't give a damn about my family?"

Gendo sobbed. He would never see Yui alive again. Gendo looked at his son, begging. "Please kill me… I want to see Yui. Please let me see her… in Heaven."

"You think you'd go to Heaven? No offense Gendo, but you really need a reality check."

"Let me see Yui again…" Gendo bowed his head "Please."

Shinji shook his head. "No."

Gendo continued to cry.

Shinji had enough. He grabbed his father by the neck. "Listen old man! I've lost all respect for you as a leader and as a father. Don't make me lose respect for you as a man!"

Gendo did a terrible job holding the tears back. "I-If you wa-won't kill me… than why am I here?"

Shinji had a sinister smile. "I've taken over NERV, removing you as its commander. Now, I have only one need from you. My brilliant Eva-X requires one thing to be ready: A human soul. Guess whose I'm going to use."

"No…" Gendo said quietly. Suddenly he was lifted up into the air by unseen forces. "Please Shinji, don't!" He was floated out into the storage chamber. "Please don't lock me inside the Eva!"

Shinji laughed at his father's pleas. "Tell me father, do you remember what happened at the end of Voltron? Prince Lotor took over as king and stripped his father of the crown. To prepare for the conquest of space, King Lotor locked his father into the most powerful RoBeast every created, a RoBeast even stronger than Voltron, the Zarkon RoBeast! But their is a small price: Zarkon is condemned to a life of existing only as a weapon." Shinji chuckled as his father stared at the Eva like it was the devil incarnate. "Our situation truly does resembles that brilliant program."

Gendo continued to scream as he was moved closer to the black Eva. He floated into a custom made Entry Plug.

"Don't worry, father!" Shinji mocked. "You won't need to do any work. I've designed this so that the soul can't ever seize control of the Eva. I made sure to eliminate that flaw so this Unit can't go berserk! You'll just spend the rest of your life in there! Enjoy eternity, old man!"

"NOOOOOO!" Gendo screamed as the Entry Plug was placed in the Eva and absorbed, sending Gendo Ikari to a land of nightmares for all eternity.

Shinji looked at his new weapon with a careful eye. It was hard to imagine that such a fearsome weapon could contained such a weak soul. "How pathetic," he mused before walking off to more important matters. Matters such as what planet to conquer next.

**XXXXXXX**

_**Fin**_

**XXXXXXX**

Creme was foaming at the mouth. "Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool coolcoolcoolcool!"

Cookie nodded. "You're right Creme. That was a cool story. I've never seen Evil Touji and Evil Maya before."

Creme looked at his friend with a crazy look. "Whathappensnext?"

"Nothing. That was a complete DVD. It was a great story but I sure wouldn't mind seeing a sequel where Shinji and his evil army goes off to conquer more planets. A Vandread crossover would be pretty cool! Too bad this was a one shot."

"YOU'RE LYING! I WANT MORE!"

Cookie started scooting away from Creme. "Um… that's all for today's episode folks! Hope you turn in soon for another-"

Creme tackled Cookie. "I WANT MORE! MORE DOMINATRIX MAYA! MORE FRENCH MAID ASUKA! MORE NEKO RITSUKO!"

Cookie tried to scramble away but couldn't with Creme's death grip holding on to him. "GOD HELP ME!"

**XXXXXXX  
****The End  
****XXXXXXX**

Hello folks, enjoy the story? I did. I think it was a nice treat to do. I'm pretty proud of this story. Touji going Super Saiyan was something I've been wanting to do ever since I did Evaball Z. Sephiroth-Shinji was cool to write. It was a personal touch that I made him into a Voltron fan since I'm one to. Though it is freaky how that show mirrors NGE, isn't it?

Turning Touji evil was a snatch. Turning Maya evil was a bit of a stretch. I really wanted to show her being in the insane class of bad guys. The torture stuff I had her use on Ritsuko wasn't brought about by some hormonal fanboy idea. It actually came from this cool Batman Beyond story called 'Shattered'. In it, it shows all the horrible torments the Joker uses on poor Robin. I really liked it and was disappointed when took it off line since it was rated NC-17.

Don't worry, it wasn't a lemon story with the Joker being some child molester. It was just incredibly graphic (i.e. Robin goes through horrible mind games and physical abuse from the Clown Prince of Crime). Tell me, if anyone has a copy of that story, could you please send me a copy at wdcain ? I would be really greatful if you did.

Until next time, read and review! ^_^

ps… special thanks goes to my pal Argent Inluminai for suggesting this idea of using Sephiroth raising Shinji. If you have a good idea for a parent, review and tell me about it.


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